"Don't rent the crazy." Michele said that to me last night on our bi-weekly walk. It got me to thinking about what all of this really means. What am I really in pursuit of? Zero credit card balance? Size 4 behind? Athletic dominance? Big house? Big hair? Mr. Big? What I really want in life is peace. Inner peace; outer peace; world peace. Peace.
Bick and I were talking about this very subject the other night. He said "You know there have been times in my life that I've been happy, and I am happy now, but I've never had as much peace as I do now. Happiness is fleeting. Peace is extraordinary. " And I guess I agree. Not that I have achieved much of it, but I do feel that this is what the search is all about. Peace - freedom from obsessive thoughts, freedom from needless (and unhelpful) worry, freedom from the anxiety that has been my nearly constant companion for a lifetime.
This journey to peace is a slow one. The steps are so small as to be nearly undetectable. The decision not to borrow trouble, adhering to the "not my pig" philosophy, letting go of stuff, and getting down to life in as basic a form as possible in order for that life to be rich and fulfilling.
The quest for fitness et al is really a part of the journey as well. I want to be healthy and fit and a reasonable size and I want to learn a set of skills that allow me to do that without it being such a big deal. As a friend related to me a story about a friend of hers, we are both learning to be fit and healthy while living a life that includes other pursuits. I'm good at setting a goal and focusing on it - bulldog-like, in fact. Where I get into trouble is with the juggling. I get overwhelmed and then I get hit with the unease and anxiety. So I'm trying to look at things from a different perspective and to let go or buffer against the things that keep from moving foward.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't rent the crazy - you'll have enough of your own.