Saturday, December 22, 2007

Beck Diet Solution: Day 40

Enrich your life.

Ah, this is the good stuff. Adding things to your life that bring you beauty, peace, comfort and remove those things that don't (as much as you can). I think I'll adopt this as my goal for my holiday - to enrich my life. To make sure that I don't get so caught up in the goings on that I forget to do the important things.

I pulled up my big girl panties and crawled back on the scale this morning. Ended up that I weighed a pound less than I'd guestimated in my head. I reset my timeframe to meet my goal and have set a mini-goal to get some sort of exercise (at least 30 minutes a day) EVERY DAY of my vacation. Starting today through NYD. Every day. That's it - that's what I hope to accomplish. And if I can take care of that, then the other stuff just seems to fall into place.

Bick's attendance at the Jesus Gym has fallen off and that disappoints me, as I could use the support and he could use the exercise, but I cannot let his choices ruin mine. I've got to do this for me and my well-being. Carol's comment about finding something I love to do is right on. I just have to keep doing something until I can find what that is. I thought it was running, and I guess for a while, it was. Now I guess I'm just looking for the next thing that can hold my attention and make me look forward to it, rather than feel like I'm standing in line to take a beating.

So my plan for today is to get some house cleaning done until it gets light outside and then I think I'll take the dog for a long walk. I'm trying to get as much exercise outside as possible, as I do think that the sun exposure is a good thing in the wintertime.

Then it will be inside to clean up the house, with Bick's help, of course. I am very grateful that he feels just as much responsibility (probably more) to clean house and he is very willing to mop floors which I hate doing with a white hot passion. Our holidays will be pretty low key. I've got quite a bit of baking to do, but very little actual cooking.

I do have a fight scheduled with Bick today, unfortunately. Actually, I don't think it will be a fight, more a discussion and I understand that he is coming from a position of support for me and my tendency to overdo things, but to me, satisfying my daughter's specific dining request is something that I will do out of love. It's one of our "things". So she gets to have tiramisu, just like Sandy is getting her pumpkin pie, and Bick is getting his pecan pie and she gets to have her steak pan-fried by her Mama instead of having it grilled, because that's the way I have always fixed our steaks, and you will just need to live with a little bit of smoke in the kitchen. So, Bick, darling, I love you, but you really should be smart enough not to get between a mama and her cub, even if her cub is nearly 25 years old. Some things never change. So when this subject came up yesterday (after my hell-week at the office, and commute-from hell to get home) I knew that I was wearing the Sombrero of Hate and that to defer the discussion until I'd taken off my crankypants was a good thing.

Today I will be able to state my position in a clear and rational way without resorting to sarcasm or escalating behaviors. So I get a pat on the back for asking for a delay and he gets a pat on the back for agreeing so readily. Asking for a delay is one of our agreed upon options for conflict resolution- if either of us doesn't feel like we are in a position to continue a discussion in a positive manner for whatever reason, we can ask for a no more than 24 hour delay. We try not to sweep things under the rug, but sometimes sleeping on something is a good thing - oh, and no one gets to act like an ass during the time-out period. Being partnered with someone who fully buys into fighting fair is an amazing thing.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Fight fair.



  1. fair fighting... sounds wonderful. My problem is I'm pretty sure I would have the tendancy to want to stay mad during the waiting period. I'm thinking that would qualify as "acting like an ass." (jabs, insults, rolling of the eyes...) My other problem is even when an appology has been made, it's very difficult for me to just forgive. I can't seem to "snap" and be all happy again. I live in grudge for days sometimes. MY problem for sure though.

    Ps... VH was AWESOME. It could have gone either way for me, but immediately I was drawn in and brought right back!! DLR was a bit "flat-footed" for my taste, but still fun and in great shape considering. I was very impressed with Wolfgang, I had no idea, but found him to be a bit charming and very professional. EVH's still got and it was just a great time!! We were surrounded by NON-VH fans and Mark was completely annoyed. But seeing him have a great time made it all worth it. :) I hope you'll enjoy it TOO!

  2. Fighting fair? who knew THAT was possible?!? I stand in awe, woman. PS-Enjoy your Christmas dinner. Sounds loverly.

  3. Fighting fair, 24 hour timeouts - not letting irritants slide under the rug - I like all of those ideas.

    Are you using a book as a guide or getting this from a therapist?


We'll try this for a while.