Wednesday, March 12, 2008

"delightfully tacky, yet unrefined"

You know - I've been giving Hooter's a bit of the snob nose, but honestly, it's been a fun stay. The staff is friendly and in a nearly sincere way. I just had lunch here today - had to have some wings and it was fun. Yes, it's tacky, but in that good way. Or at least the same way that I think I'm tacky. "If you're tacky and you know it....." I probably wouldn't have connected in any way to the staff at some of the better hotels and so I'm actually happy to have had this experience. Things have a way of working themselves out. And I haven't felt weird or out of place at all.

More on the Sandy front. Talked with Bick and he is meeting with Sandy and his ex tonight to try to figure out what's happening here. I think that is the right move - trying to keep he and the ex on the same page and preventing any end-arounds. I don't know if it will do any good, as like many families, there is a lot of dysfunction going on here, Bick's alcoholism, some triangulation that I've seen and years of bad habits make the chances for this kind of thing to be successful pretty slim. But you've got to start somewhere. I don't know how you undo this stuff. Bick's in a double bind here - he's trying to re-establish a new, healthier relationship with Sandy and she (perhaps rightly) is using the "but I was scared to tell you" thing - which he feels guilty about. He's not upset about the money - he's fine with giving her money if she needs it - what he's upset about is the whole underhanded part of it and not talking about it.

And the more I think about it, the more that I know that I have to keep my mouth shut on this one. Because I feel bad enough thinking what I think - I'm certainly not going to add insult to injury by sharing any of it with Bick. Everyone will have to establish their own boundaries - and comfort level. I don't know if this is some sort of test for Bick from Sandy - to see if he is really sincere in his efforts to renew the relationship? Is she testing for the boundary? Does he have any anymore? So he is in a pickle - damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. Upon further review, I will, if asked, suggest some counseling for the two of them to work through these issues.

1 comment:

We'll try this for a while.