Apparently the cold war is over as I got a call from Mom today effectively ending the silent treatment that I'd been receiving over the whole banking thing. The deal is that I am not angry with her - I just needed to be removed from the inner workings of her finances. It's not good for me and it's not good for her. She chatted on like nothing was wrong - we talked about flowers, sister, the fact that my ex-husband is going to church with her on Sunday and about our upcoming vacation. It was during the course of that conversation that she mentioned that she would be getting a debit card as a part of her new account. And I just said "Oh, that's great" and let it go at that.
I am very glad to have that over with. It was important for me to take those steps and I'll deal with someone being unjustifyingly angry with me if I have to. I'm just glad that I chose not to read any of her emails about this so I don't have other things to stew over. My goal is to be able to have a more boundry-respecting relationship that allows us to enjoy each other. I do not want estrangement, but I will risk it in order to look out for myself.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Find a way.