I've been having an inner dialog with myself about how many things I do because I should. How many things do I do, especially for other people, when I'm hoping for some desired outcome? Those things are done with strings attached and certainly not without some motive. Those things become more about me than they do about the other person.
Now I don't think that I'm this bad person, but I do think it behooves me to occasionally check my motives. I'm going through some inner turmoil with my feelings towards Sandy. The basics are this: I do want her to succeed at school. I want to be supportive of her efforts. In the past I have done things for her and ended up feeling very unappreciated. My initial instinct was to give her a large cash going away gift to go with her Dad's gift. I decided against that. My next impulse was to start with the care packages. Her response to those in the past has been either a non-response or "I don't like (fill in the blank)".
In this situation, I'm looking for the fine line. The boundary that allows me to be supportive of her efforts, but doesn't leave me feeling resentful towards her. I know that I have to work on my part of that, but no need to add fuel to the fire when I'm trying to put it out.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Be true to yourself.