My body is just not responding the way it used to. This up and down stuff is just crazy. Oh well. I know I'm doing the good things and it will eventually let go of whatever it is it's holding on to.
Work is troubling me in a big way and I'm quite unsure as to how to respond with integrity. The manager of our technical support team said some things to me in a meeting a week or so ago that still leave me drawing my breath in sharply from the pain of some of his remarks. Part of this ties in very strongly to the fear of having been with the same employer for so long that one becomes so stale or entrenched or "we've always done it this way" that one becomes irrelevant. I have this discussion with my boss on occasion, as he is another long-timer and we agree to watch out for this in each other. To have a man fifteen years my junior basically tell me that his problems would be solved if I would only retire has left me a bit shell-shocked. Turns out, he considers me to be the problem in our area not being happy with the support we receive from them. I demand too much and require too much from my "team".
Turns out they are shifting from an analyst model to one of interchangeable heads-down coders and not wanting to really admit it. They are cutting back on face to face meetings, as they are a waste of time. They don't want their "analyst/developers" to spend any time learning the functional side of things and the reason they aren't fulfilling their support requirements is they have to do too much of the functional support for me. Whew. None of the other areas require/demand so much.
Funny thing is, I considered me/our area to be the leaders in innovation and support for our constituents. Obviously, there is a mismatch here somewhere. I just have to decide where it is. And I'm struggling with this. My boss is incredibly supportive, which is awesome, but I've taken a body blow here and can't really decide if it is deserved or not. And the "I'll show you" strategies that are playing in my head aren't doing much good either. In any case, I'm struggling with this and will continue to do so for some time and it's bleeding all over everything. Poor Bick.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Act with integrity.