Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Catastrophizing at 161

Sandy is coming into town this week/weekend and I certainly have mixed feelings about it. Bick is making plans to take her with us to his office fancy dinner out and I'm making plans to have an awful time. I hate it that their relationship is what it is. I hate it for both of them. I think they are locked into some way of dealing with each other that does neither of them any good. I haven't figured out if she is trying to punish him or just wants him the hell out of her life. If she knows, I wish she'd tell him, whatever it may be.

I feel sorry for him when he talks to me about wanting her to just hang around our house like Pebbles did last week. And yet I don't like him when he's around Sandy. He changes. He tries too hard and then he gets disappointed and then things get worse. I've asked to opt out of the dinner event, without really saying why. I'm not really ready to accept how I feel about her right now, as I haven't really gotten to the bottom of it for me. He wants me there, says I serve as a buffer. I feel more like a referee watching the lob and volley and the sullen and the passive-aggression that takes place. They need professional intervention and I am unqualified to fill that role. So for now, I will just try to "first do no harm" as I come to terms with what is the right thing for me to do here.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't crawl on every roller coaster that passes by.


1 comment:

  1. It might be good to remind Bick that you and Pebbles haven't always had smooth sailing. Your relationship works when you BOTH make it work.

    If Sandy is still busy punishing her Dad, then there's really nothing that Bick can do.


We'll try this for a while.