Sunday, November 30, 2008

Breaking my (diet) coke habit

I'm going to make a run at giving up the DC. I consume the stuff at an alarming, alarming rate - I figure close to a gallon or more a day. My regular dosage during the week is four twenty oz bottles out of the machine at work, followed by four cans at home. This stuff can't be good for me at these levels and it's just time. I take too good care of myself in other ways to let this keep on. So, I'm trying to switch over to something else.

I've loaded up on Diet Lipton Green Tea with citrus to take to work while I work on coming up with an alternate green tea solution for home. I'm experimenting right now with an orange juice/green tea combo. And yes, I should drink water instead - that might come later, but for now, I need to have something else in place. If I tried to switch to water alone right now, I'd suffer massive dehydration, because I completely and totally hate to drink water. HATE IT. So first to the tea and then to the water. Small steps.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

12 miles

I'm off to the Jesus Gym for my last 12 miler before the half. Bick has promised to clean house while I'm gone - dear heavens, is that man a saint or what?

Friday, November 28, 2008

So DISH!

Bick and I are locked in combat. He's ready to take the plunge and get a DISH tacked on to the side of the hacienda here at Reata North. Rather funny considering we live across the road from DISH, the land of the free satellite tv. We currently survive on rabbit ears and I'm fine with that, so I've voting for getting the damn converter box and just keeping on. He's pissed that he didn't know that those stupid gubment coupons expire and now he's bent on pushing us out of our luddite ways.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some cable tv. Adore it, in fact. It's one of my favorite things about going away from home - the chance to watch marathon sessions of shows I never get to see. However, I know me and I know just how tv-addicted I can get. I know where my weaknesses are and having a constant supply of lifestyle porn available to me (cooking shows, gardening shows, decorating shows) is placing me in the valley of temptation and that's not good.

Random thoughts of gratefulness

I'm grateful for Meg. Meg has shown incredible strength and courage in redirecting her life to be what she wants it to be. Changing coasts, changing careers and investing in herself and her new business venture. Very brave, indeed. I bow to her courage.


I'm grateful for Michele. Michele has shown such perseverance over the years and this December will be rewarded for her hard work by earning her degree. All while working full-time and being a Mom. Awesomeness, indeed.

I'm grateful for Christine. Christine has also embarked upon a life-changing journey - moving from the heart of Texas to the west coast to pursue career opportunities. Since she's been there, she's built a challenging and interesting life for herself and she's serving as my chief inspiration these days. It's because of C that I'm doing the half in a couple of weeks.

I'm grateful for Lyn. Lyn works in the hi-tech field, but I believe she's terribly miscast! She's the smart, progressive woman's Dear Abby. Her ability to see through the bs to the core of the issue and lay out all the issues without judgment and with such humor is amazing. She needs to be writing books so many can enjoy and learn from her wisdom and humanity.

I'm grateful for Suz. Suz is this incredibly funny, supportive, help-a-friend when she's down all while dealing with the stuff life throws her way and being Mom to two super kiddos. Many of my dark times have been brightened up by a note of support from Suz.

I'm grateful for Guy. Yea, I know. But he showed up on Wednesday night, didn't gripe or complain and let Pebbles and her herd spend the evening and most of the day here. I know it wasn't what he wanted to do, but he participated gracefully and allowed her to do the day as she wish.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Knowing when to say when

I don't know if it's a gender thing, an hereditary thing or the result of nurture versus nature, but Pebbles is following in my footsteps in regards to overdoing things. She's coming up tonight with her herd and she's bringing/making dinner. She's fretting over remembering this and remembering to bring that and "don't let me forget" this other thing. I had to stop and remind her:

Our ability to enjoy our evening together does not depend upon having a certain food item or being WOWed in any way. The enjoyable part is being together and being relaxed.

-as I sit here jotting down notes on my to-do list. Will these dishes go with those napkin rings? Do I have time to pick up some fresh flowers? Oh here's an interesting recipe to make your own crackers. (Who the HELL makes there own crackers?) Oh, wouldn't it be great if I had XXXXXX?
Got the picture? Sheesh.

Relax. Breathe. Enjoy.

Holidaze

Things are pretty good here at Reata North. I decided to spend Thanksgiving this year at home - with Bick manning the grill. I'd announced my decision and invited everyone up, but all decided to go to Cleburne instead. Totally fine by me - I've asked them up for some other time over the weekend.

This was all well and good until Pebbles determined that she would not be able to watch the parade with her Mudder and that was a problem for her. Watching the parade together and drinking hot chocolate and taking early nibbles of the Thanksgiving feast was always our thing. So she's packing up the dogs and Guy, and is coming up to Reata North to spend the night tonight. Oh, and she's bringing dinner - it just doesn't get much better than this.

So with this last minute adjustment, I made a couple of pies last night - a pecan for Bick and a Mississippi Sweet Potato Pie that I hope will serve as an acceptable substitute for Pebble's favorite, pumpkin. I didn't have any pumpkin and I wasn't about to brave the stores to get some - so the munchkin will just have to like it or lump it!

We will spend Thanksgiving Eve with 4 adults and 250 pounds of dog. Should be fun!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Eat pie for breakfast on occasion.

-Roxie

Monday, November 24, 2008

What a wonderful world

We had a lovely weekend. We are moving back to our "old" selves, it seems. For a period of a few months it's like everything was just a bit "off". Nothing serious at all, but just not what we'd come to expect from our relationship. I was less inclined to laugh out loud and Bick was in a full-on dread of winter, or something. I spent most of the fall being tied in knots over my family situations and it showed.

It's just important to remember that all things run in cycles and that you can expect to see the peaks again.

Did about ten miles at the gym. I had intended to do 12, but at about 9.75 something tweaked pretty hard in my left calf muscle and I wasn't able to really walk it out, so I quit before doing any damage. It seems to be okay today.

The unfortunate thing is that I can expect to gain weight after a long mileage outing and this morning was no different. Up a pound and a half. This is just crazy-making.

Worked out in the garden, staking up my peas. I'm trying peas as a winter crop, don't know that they'll mature, but the plants look good so far. Better than they have in the springtime, for sure. Fixed some more turnip greens - damn, they are nice.

Cleaned house and poked around the internets for tips on what to see and what to do when traveling in Ireland. Slowly beginning to put together a very loose itinerary.

The yoga room is still unpainted, save some patches of test color. The paint is purchased, but I think I've changed my mind on the color, again. Oops. Here is where my frugal nature will try to override my creative side by telling me that I'll be wasting money by not using the paint I purchased, but I can find some other use for it. I can. It does me no good to paint a color that I won't be happy with. It's a far greater investment that the $21 dollars in paint.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Something wonderful will happen.

-Roxie

Friday, November 21, 2008

Little Shop of Horrors

I survived my dental appointment, barely. I've switched dentists to one who is more convenient, plus Sister works there. I have some pretty tough dental problems and I've been lax in keeping up with treatments, etc. So, the dentist had a come to jesus with me over use of all my dental helpers all the time.

My vanity is too small to hold all the elements of torture that arresting bone degeneration requires, so I have taken over the guest bathroom. The guest bathroom is a psuedo-Jack and Jill, in an area that is way too small for two sinks. So this weekend we are going to stop into our favorite big box store and look at pulling out one of the sinks and replacing the counter to give me land, lots of land for all my crap. Sigh.

So I'm on an aggressive three month treatment schedule to see if I can regroup, otherwise, it's another set of bone grafts for me. Been there, done that. Hated every damn minute of it. The good news, if there is any, is that my new dentist believes that all of this will be much more successful now that I've quit smoking.

Bick's flippant response to all this "You've got a jaw like Katharine Hepburn, it's hard to believe you don't have enough to spare."

One other thought just hit me - I probably need to seriously consider giving up the diet cokes. They can do some pretty serious damage to bones - and while I'm doing okay with other bone-density tests, I consume an obscene amount of the stuff. Probably not doing me any good on many fronts.

I've got a 12 miler scheduled on Saturday morning.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Take good care of yourself.

-Roxie

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Going Green

Harvested some more turnip greens last night. Yummy. Turns out I've always harvested/purchased/cooked them when they had turned bitter. If they are harvested soon enough, they can almost be eaten raw. Deliciousness.

Busy week at work and I always seem behind in my errands. Between trips to the library, dry cleaners, cobbler, etc. there seems to be something scheduled for each night of the week. Thursday night I'm meeting the MerryNewlywed for happy hour. I haven't seen much of her lately. She and I have both been struggling a bit to get to the gym everyday and I've been going later than usual, so we keep missing each other. It will be good to catch up.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Have a leafy green.

-Roxie

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Book 'Em, Dano.

Got the trip finalized. Whew! I'm so excited about this, it's silly. Bick decided he needed some new clothes (which he does), so we braved some of the early sales yesterday. What a beating! Between the crowds, the none-existent store staff and Mr. Bick, King of the Picky, it was not fun.

Bick considers himself to be a classic dresser, and I suppose that is true. He wears Levi's 501s exclusively. Nothing else, ever. Unless it's a funeral and then only sometimes, because this is Texas, y'all. So nothing, nothing can be considered stylish or trendy. I appreciate the fact that he's not a clothes horse, I really do. This was our first clothes shopping expedition together and it left me a touch bemused. Turns out, he works really, really hard to look nice, but not too nice, and has lots of shopping rules about which I had no idea! I think he could be just a touch more adventuresome in his choices. Silly man. But he did find some good stuff - and some great bargains! I found a linen sport coat (for summer, obviously) on sale for $15.00 and convinced him he needed a summer jacket. So he ended up with a new pair of jeans, a pair of shorts, a lovely red dress shirt, a lined plaid shirt/coat thing (think Lumberjack - wtf!) a new wallet (after 12 years, I think it's time) and a nice sweater.

I told the family about our pending trip without too much drama - perhaps I've accidently discovered a way through the BS - I told Mom in a crowd of people on Friday evening and she had very little to say about it. So that's out of the way.

Pebbles is very excited for us and is keeping SadieLu for us. So that's dealt with.

Oh, and I did 12 miles on Saturday. Twelve miles. I think I can do the Half.


Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Everything DOESN'T have to have pockets.

-Roxie

Friday, November 14, 2008

Bono, The King of Ireland

I'm going to see Bono, The King of Ireland. No, I'm not going to a U2 concert, although that would be very cool. I'm going to Ireland. Specifically, Bick and I are going to spend part of our winter holiday on the Emerald Isle, in the cold, wet rain. It was pretty much a spur of the moment decision - actually, it's not a done deal yet - I've got to finalize everything with the travel agent today.

I'm still sort of giddy about the decision. And suffering my usual buyer's remorse and as I analyzed it a bit more - guilt. I have no reason to feel guilty about this. Yes, I have some debt remaining and this trip will postpone my payoff by a couple of months, but travel is really what I love/want to do. So this is okay for me.

The really stupid part of this, the part that I'm dreading, is telling my Mother. How f'n stupid is that? I'm 48 years old and I just don't want to hear about how "she guesses we won't be going to WA anytime soon since I'm spending all my money to go to Europe". Bet you a donut that's exactly the response I get. Before I realized the full extent of my feelings of dread about this, I was already contemplating taking her/them on a quick trip to WA by way of appeasement. Duh, Roxie - this is one of the ways you earned part of the current debt you are paying off.

I want to go to Ireland with Bick. I want to travel. I work and I don't spend money frivilously - taking this trip is VERY inline with my personal goals and philosophy. Feeling stupid guilt is not.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. U2.

-Roxie

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Variety

Split my lunchtime workout between three different machines so as to be less boring. Anyone listen to motivational podcasts? I'm looking for anything to combat boredom here.

Harvested our first batch of turnip greens from the winter garden over the weekend. Yummy. So very tender and not at all bitter. Who knew I would ever turn out to like greens!

Here I am, I'm Plump Again

I'm trying to break the "fat talk" habit. Lately I haven't been as diligent as I would like to be, and as a result, the scales, unvisited for quite some time, have crept up again. So I'm back to watching things a bit more closely. Oh, well.

I've engaged in fat talk all of my life. It's a ritual in my family; it's damn near a ritual in my life and I've begun to view it as something very negative and deceptively destructive. And I heard Pebbles do this for the first time this week. Stopped me cold to think that she is thinking or feeling this way about her body. No one should view themselves with such disdain. I'm not saying that it's not okay to want to make changes, but they should be framed in a more positive way. As I've said before, self-recrimination has never done a damned thing to make my ass any smaller.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Practice the positive.

-Roxie

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Happy Anniversary

Or whatever cutesy thing unmarried couples call whatever event they attach particular significance to. Today is the anniversary of our first person to person telephone conversation - three years ago. I'm not so sentimental as to recall the date except that it is my cousin's birthday and I had told Bick that I wouldn't be able to converse until after the party was over.

And converse we did. I remember him being very articulate, quick-witted and sure of himself without being cocky. I remember being pretty hooked in to seeing where this would go very early on. He says the same thing of me.

We had the best first date ever a few days after that - a Sunday afternoon, as I recall. Seems like my schedule had kept me pretty tied up all that week. I think I was doing a wedding cake for a friend, had a football game to attend, as well as a well-remembered coolgirl gathering outdoors at Never's house, back when she still lived in Fort Worth. I remember not being a bit disappointed when me met face to face.

It didn't go quite so smoothly after that, but both of us did some soul-searching, I got some more therapy and six months later we gave it another go. Phase II bares little resemblance to Phase I, other than our obvious attraction for one another. Attraction probably isn't the right word - there's just a commonality that exists between us, an understanding and a same-pageness that I've never had in any other relationship. The last three years have allowed and inspired more personal growth in me than in any time in my life. Sure, circumstances have played a part in that, but so has Bick. He's in my corner and he's got my back. I've never felt that I had a partner that I could lean on. And we lean on each other.

I've given up trying to mold and control the future, so I don't have a clue as to where we will end up, but I do know that I'm glad I'm here. And I'll always be glad I was. This has been a life-changing part of the journey.

Roxie

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Ten

I got up and did the ten this morning and it felt pretty good. Better than I had expected. Several factors, I think. First, it was cooler. It was in the mid-forties when I took out this morning. I managed to get my clothing pretty close to right. Secondly, at C's advice, I took my water belt and used it. I'd gotten out of that habit, which was just stupid. And thirdly, I brought home my new shoes from work, where I'd been breaking them in. These shoes are larger than the shoes I have been wearing, plus they are new, so that's another point in their favor. My pace was faster, which is probably due to all of the above.

One thing I did have reinforced - don't stop! I was feeling so good that I decided to take SadieLu for a quick spin around the block -um, no. Ouchy!

Friday, November 7, 2008

That sinking feeling

Just back from the gym and I'm not feeling well. I've been feeling faintly dizzy all day in addition to being sort of fuzzy-headed. Left calf still twinging. None of this bodes well for the planned training day tomorrow.

Hmm. I guess I'll have to wait and see what tomorrow brings. Crap.

Don't Fence Me In

I'm reading Pema Chodron's Start Where You Are, a book about the practice of meditation. My reading this morning talked of taking in (breathing) the bad stuff and breathing out spaciousness - of wishing spaciousness upon all things. That got me to thinking about what spaciousness meant to me and it is probably a better definition of what I call peace. Or at the very least, the opposite of anxiety - that chest-pressing, can't-get-a-deep-breath anxiety that closes in around one. So spaciousness, that light and airy feeling, the absence of anxiety, stress and negativity is a wonderful gift to wish for all things.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Give them some space.

-Roxie

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Back home again

Good to be back home again. I certainly was off-routine while away. I did get in a run while I was gone, but I was lousy.

To be clear - the mileage I'm putting in on the weekends are walking miles, not running. I'm going to try to run 5k at lunch today, but I did so poorly on Tuesday that I'm not holding out much hope.

On a brilliant note, Sandy was able to attend the Obama acceptance speech on Tuesday night. She sent pictures (from very, very far away) but still, she was there. Awesome.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Just keep plugging away.

-Roxie

Saturday, November 1, 2008