Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Tell it like it is

In the last twenty-four hours I have stated my feelings, wants and needs over two different (very significant) situations to each of the parties involved. I was honest and non-accusatory and, I believe, handled myself with integrity and compassion. And right now I feel like crying. I've made both parties unhappy/disappointed/frustrated/angry with me by defining and defending my boundaries.

I'm in the middle of a co-dependent meltdown. Even though both parties handled the situations as well as could be expected, I'm fighting my habit of not being okay with someone not being okay with me. I do know that I need to just sit through this and practice the fine art of doing nothing. Don't undo the progress I've made. Don't try for a do-over. Just sit and deal. And don't try to numb this feeling down with food, or anything else. Been there, did it for years.


Okay, back from the gym and on more solid ground. It's a wonder what an ass-beating from Angela will do for a person.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Progress.



  1. I am reading a book on how to handle/conduct confrontations in a positive manner. You've handled yours in much the way the authors are coaching. Work from a position of truth and grace. Sounds like you have that down. The hard part for me, like you, is accepting that you do not own the other persons reaction. While it is often true that what is said in these confrontations can be difficult for the other person to accept - their reaction is their problem.

    If I say it often enough it will become true, yes?

  2. It will become true. It is true. We don't own them, nor their reactions. I will start the chant - repeat after me.


We'll try this for a while.