Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Anger Management

I had a situation yesterday that left me spitting nails. My mood had not improved by the time I got home from work and my feelings left me pretty irritable and uncomfortable. So rather than take it out on Bick or raid the fridge or the bar or the department store, I threw on my gym clothes and headed back to the Jesus Gym. I plugged in the iPod and sweated on the elliptical for an hour. At least I was able to let off some steam.

Came home and spent the next half hour or so meditating while Bick fixed dinner. He's always pretty understanding when I'm dealing with this stuff. So I ate my dinner, ran a soaky bath and went to bed.

The anger is pretty much gone and I'm left with the hurt I usually feel in these situations the morning after, but I am happy with how I handled myself through the entire situation, both in the moment and afterwards. I'm not waking up with any sort of "hang over" today.

I cannot control or change anybody. I am powerless over people, but I can be in control over my reactions to them. I don't have to punish myself for other people's actions.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Treat yourself with loving kindness.



  1. Way to go, girl. Boy, do I understand the anger thing. You got through it with flying colors!

  2. I was told in therapy that anger is a "perceived injustice". So when I am feeling hurt, it really means I am mad. I didn't think I had an anger problem...my feeling just got hurt all the time. That was an AHA momnet for me. Glad your feeling better. I can't stand feeling those angry feelings. What is a "Jesus Gym"? Glad your husband is so understanding. Have a great day today.

  3. The wicki on the Jesus Gym.

    I gave it that name because it is both a church and a gym. I haven't figured out who actually owns the building, whether it's the church or the gym. It's a big metal building that primarily holds the gym - situated way out here in the boondocks. The church meets in one upstairs room, but the sign outside reflects both the church and the gym name. The gym is open 24/7 except that it closes on Saturday at 4pm and opens again on Sunday at 4pm. Churchgoers must enter through the gym to get to their upstairs meeting place. I do know that our gym owners do not attend this particular church.

  4. "I don't have to punish myself for other people's actions."

    So true...

    You can't control how others will choose to behave. You only have control in how you perceive what they do and why they do it. And in how you ultimately react.

    WTG Roxie!

  5. I thought of you yesterday when in a fit of fear, I ate my way through it. I stopped and said, "This would be when Roxie would head OUT and you're eating." Hmmm... For me, that is progress though. I saw it. I chose to do it anyway, but really that was the first time I was aware of what I was doing. Maybe there is hope for me.

    Good for you on the whole anger/working out thing!


We'll try this for a while.