Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Birds Do It


But apparently the bees have stopped doing it. Or more precisely, have stopped doing it in the squash. Bick first reported the problem a few days ago. After snooping around the internets and watching some plant porn, it was deemed that I must boost the sex life of the summer squash. I am now acting as Viagra for Vegetables. I tried last night, but the squash were too tired and had a headache. Perhaps they prefer mornings?

So this morning, I put on my best push-up bra, my vacation panties, threw on my summer robe and my f*ck-me Crocs, snapped on some latex (gloves) and went out to entice the squash into reproducing. I did my best (bean) pole dance. We'll know if there was a happy ending in about three days. The things I do for organic produce. Sheesh.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. I'll leave the joke to you.

-Roxie
153

H20:1
HGF: peppers and onions in the chili verde

9 comments:

  1. A surrogate for squash sex? Dare you to put that on your resume!

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  2. Hilarious post! You've created a picture in my mind that I'll remember when I'm working in my own garden!

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  3. How funny! F*ckme crocs. I own a pair of those, but I didn't know they had a first name..lol.

    Here's to a Happy Ending!

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  4. I'm actually LOL'ing... That's very funny. Just no smoking afterwrds k?

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  5. Hilarious! Vacation panties?! And what do F*ckme crocs look like? I think I need some...crocs, I mean, lol

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  6. Eff me crocs! I'm going to think of this now every time I wear mine out to pull weeds.

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  7. I'm LOL-ing too! A great visual. What a funny post!

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  8. Very funny - Viagra for Veggies

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  9. I think I need to do something similar for my pumpkins. I am more their shape anyway.

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We'll try this for a while.