Thursday, September 24, 2009

It did not go well.

Sigh. Not that I expected that it would. But I asked for what I wanted and offered a good compromise. So my only option here on the estate dispersal is to get legal. The nuclear option. This feels awful.

The comforting news is that I have yoga class today. Soon.

Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Take good care of yourself.



  1. May I suggest that you stop seeing this as a nuclear option? You have choices.

    ● You can decide that this isn't worth it and you are unwilling to invest anger or legal resources. Simply let it go. (You've tried this for many years, but it's still an option.)
    ● You can decide that asserting your legal position is required for your own emotional health. Legal doesn't have to mean a trip to court. I could also mean mediation or arbitration.

    As long as you consider the legal option to be nuclear, you're going to struggle to see that both of choices are available. You are making the (probably) unconscious choice in your language that says that the legal recourse will be destructive.

  2. So sorry things didn't go well. Legal is never fun. Sounds like you have done your best to avoid it, so now go for it!

    Take good care of yourself!

  3. Argh, that's rough. I'm sorry for you.

  4. The always-wise Christine. The arbitration or mediation is an interesting option, should I choose to try to go that route.

    Part of my reasoning for persuing this was to try to prepare for her long-term care, but I guess if she's uninterested, then I can be uninterested, as well.

    I don't want to invest the anger or the legal resources. I really don't. The way I'm feeling today is that I am not a big enough person to let this go without resentment - and that every shopping binge would bring me more twisting the knife. If I let this go, I let her go with it.

  5. Yoga is a great way to get through anything, I'm convinced.

  6. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! Know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace of heart and mind.

  7. It's hard to accept when someone can't see what is best for them, in the long run. I'm wishing you a quiet solution and peace, at last, about the estate.


We'll try this for a while.