Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Every Day Is A Winding Road


Today feels important - like this is the life lesson I need to be learning right now. I need to learn how to maintain good self-care when I am do not feel like it. I mean, isn't this the spot where most of us come off the rails or dig ourselves into a hole, either big or little? I know it has been true for me in the past.

The specifics are unimportant - they could be anything, really - but what is important is learning to just be in the feelings. Have them, acknowledge them without judgment, spend sometime working through them and continue on practicing good lovingkindness and self-care.

I'm trying to think about this concept today. First off, I did not want to get out of bed and face the day, work, whatever. I went through my list of excuses as to why I couldn't go in. The truth is that I called in late, with the option of not coming in at all. And then I started to think about this response? Is this reaction going to move me forward? Will it make it better? Add guilt to the mix? Make practicing good self-care easier? Or will it be a day of wallowing? Honestly, today it would be a day of wallowing and not much good every comes of that for me. I just add another layer of bad feelings on top of whatever is bothering me. I have no problem with taking the mental health day when it's necessary, but I think I need to practice getting-the-hell-on-with-it. At least that's what I'm hearing.

In many ways the most important part of this journey to health and peace is learning new ways to be, learning new ways of thinking and responding. And one important truth is "First, do no harm". Don't make whatever it is worse. So right now, I've got my hair up in hot curlers to try to combat the frizz. I'll take a few extra minutes to put on my makeup in a decent fashion, get dressed and wrap myself in my lime green (with hot pink lining) satin trench coat and haul my happy ass to work.

And I'll repeating The Serenity Prayer.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. When you are the windshield and when you are the bug.

-Roxie
154.5

12 comments:

  1. We're all on an emotional rollercoaster, and I suppose some days will always be harder than others. Learning to face the tough times with a little more gumption and a little more grace is a skill that we all would be well served developing.

    Thanks for the reminder.

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  2. I think a lime green trenchcoat would make it easier to face any day.

    Hope it's all downhill (in a good way!) from here.

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  3. I think you're absolutely right there - I'm definitely inclined to forget about caring for myself when things feel hard (unless caring for yourself involves mindlessly self-destructive eating and non-exercising behaviours... no? Thought not...)
    I'm impressed that you're on your way to going into work. Especially that you got there by examining your feelings & motives and considering what would really be achieved by staying home. As an avid wallower myself (and sometimes - rarely - it DOES help!) I tend to not bother, but just go with the flow - and yes, it usually does add another layer of reasons to feel bad. Thanks for that!

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  4. OMG. Thank you so much for sharing. I've been struggling with this myself. Well not a constant struggle, more like a cyclical one. I'm on the upside now and find myself afraid of what I will do or will stop doing when it comes knocking again. Reading your post today gives me hope for myself. Thanks again. And whatever it is that's got you down...just remember...this too shall pass.

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  5. Hang in there, Roxie...and just do the next right thing, whatever that may be.

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  6. I am impressed that you are taking the time for the introspection and recognizing the lesson(s) here. Just take things one step at time.
    Breathe.
    Have faith in yourself and take care of yourself -- things will get better.
    Sending lots of hugs!

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  7. Your doing great! I have the same thoughts when I want to wallow too. Good for you to just suck it up and go in.

    Feelings won't kill you, though sometimes it feels like it.

    hugs...hoping you learn that important lesson!

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  8. Ain't it the truth! and Amen.

    I need to learn this lesson too. I abandon myself when I need me the most.

    I hope whatever "It" is, Roxie, that has you feeling down resolves itself soon.

    <3

    and way to go on getting up and on with it!!! Bravo, Sister!

    lime green and pink ... swoon.

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  9. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
    xo

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  10. You are some kind of woman, Rosie. Brava! for pushing through! I hope your day gave you peace. I've been feeling a wallow day coming on. Your post helps me see how to talk myself out if it next time.

    Now I just have to get me a lime green satin coat with pink lining :D

    And that's another of my fav Sheryl Crow songs.

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  11. Great post! I so identify and I so admire your get up and go. I hope it took your mind off your worries at least for a bit.

    Hope tomorrow morning looks brighter.

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  12. Way to dig out of the rut! Can you put that in a bottle and send some up here?

    And that Lime green satin trench (with the hot pink lining) may just require you to post a pic. That's a dynamic combination of color. Brings to mind my peonies for some reason.

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We'll try this for a while.