Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Every Day Is A Winding Road
Today feels important - like this is the life lesson I need to be learning right now. I need to learn how to maintain good self-care when I am do not feel like it. I mean, isn't this the spot where most of us come off the rails or dig ourselves into a hole, either big or little? I know it has been true for me in the past.
The specifics are unimportant - they could be anything, really - but what is important is learning to just be in the feelings. Have them, acknowledge them without judgment, spend sometime working through them and continue on practicing good lovingkindness and self-care.
I'm trying to think about this concept today. First off, I did not want to get out of bed and face the day, work, whatever. I went through my list of excuses as to why I couldn't go in. The truth is that I called in late, with the option of not coming in at all. And then I started to think about this response? Is this reaction going to move me forward? Will it make it better? Add guilt to the mix? Make practicing good self-care easier? Or will it be a day of wallowing? Honestly, today it would be a day of wallowing and not much good every comes of that for me. I just add another layer of bad feelings on top of whatever is bothering me. I have no problem with taking the mental health day when it's necessary, but I think I need to practice getting-the-hell-on-with-it. At least that's what I'm hearing.
In many ways the most important part of this journey to health and peace is learning new ways to be, learning new ways of thinking and responding. And one important truth is "First, do no harm". Don't make whatever it is worse. So right now, I've got my hair up in hot curlers to try to combat the frizz. I'll take a few extra minutes to put on my makeup in a decent fashion, get dressed and wrap myself in my lime green (with hot pink lining) satin trench coat and haul my happy ass to work.
And I'll repeating The Serenity Prayer.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. When you are the windshield and when you are the bug.