Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Eat A Toad

I've heard it said if you eat a toad the very first thing each morning, the rest of the day will just get better. It would have to, I think. What I am discovering (and rediscovering, ad naseum) is that the dread I feel about upcoming events, the "awfulizing" that I do, is almost always worse than the actual event(s). So rather than spend time dreading some task, I'm trying to tackle those head on, first thing, and I'm trying not to procrastinate and continue the woe-is-me any longer than necessary.

Obviously, I'm in rather an isolationist phase these days. I don't want to see anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to get my stuff done and be left alone. Anything else feels too hard. So I'd been dreading (for a week or more) going to visit my former mother-in-law to order a cake for Pebbles' luncheon. The XMIL was the first person to RSVP that she was attending and asked if she could bring a cake. I thanked her, but told her that Pebbles didn't eat cake anymore. First thing Pebbles asked when I told her Granny would be attending was "Is she building me a cake?". So yesterday I went over to her shop (she's one of the premier cake ladies in these parts) and ordered the non-wedding/only-cake-they'll have cake. We had a lovely visit and she is so excited for Pebbles. I'd been putting this off and it worked out fine.

What I loved about yesterday is the family that chose to be part of Pebbles' life. The "family" that will be attending this luncheon includes: my ex-husband and his wife and his mother - the aforementioned "Granny"; my first husband's (and Pebbles' bio dad) ex-wife who has treated Pebbles like her own, even though she's been divorced from The BioDad for twenty plus years, and Sandy, who is Bick's daughter. I will be the only one in attendence to share actual DNA with the honoree. And it's all good.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. That thing you've been putting off? Do it now.



  1. Just to toss an idea out there. Pebbles has a great "family" that you built for her. You were willing to allow good people have a place in your daughter's life - even if they happened to by your first husband's second ex-wife.

    Good work!

  2. I am spening Thanksgiving with my 1st hubs 1st wife. Her kids are my daughter's half brother and sister and they are all coming to Thanksgiving. It should lots of fun....and I seriously, really I mean it!

    Families are always interesting, even the ones you choose to be part of your family!

    Thank you for the email. It made me smile....big hug and lots of love!

  3. I like the idea of family being who you make...

  4. Yes, I want to take a minute to notice that you made a space for those people in your daughter's life. Not everyone manages to do that. Kudos.

  5. Love the toad! I hadn't heard that before. :)

    How wonderful that your daughter has so many people who love her!

  6. I woke up last night with anxiety of fixing Thanksgiving for my son-in-laws family this year. I got over it-moving forward. Happy Thanksgiving and I've been enjoying your post!

  7. It takes a village.........I think you've done a great job surrounding your daughter with people who care about her.


We'll try this for a while.