I've heard it said if you eat a toad the very first thing each morning, the rest of the day will just get better. It would have to, I think. What I am discovering (and rediscovering, ad naseum) is that the dread I feel about upcoming events, the "awfulizing" that I do, is almost always worse than the actual event(s). So rather than spend time dreading some task, I'm trying to tackle those head on, first thing, and I'm trying not to procrastinate and continue the woe-is-me any longer than necessary.
Obviously, I'm in rather an isolationist phase these days. I don't want to see anyone, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to get my stuff done and be left alone. Anything else feels too hard. So I'd been dreading (for a week or more) going to visit my former mother-in-law to order a cake for Pebbles' luncheon. The XMIL was the first person to RSVP that she was attending and asked if she could bring a cake. I thanked her, but told her that Pebbles didn't eat cake anymore. First thing Pebbles asked when I told her Granny would be attending was "Is she building me a cake?". So yesterday I went over to her shop (she's one of the premier cake ladies in these parts) and ordered the non-wedding/only-cake-they'll have cake. We had a lovely visit and she is so excited for Pebbles. I'd been putting this off and it worked out fine.
What I loved about yesterday is the family that chose to be part of Pebbles' life. The "family" that will be attending this luncheon includes: my ex-husband and his wife and his mother - the aforementioned "Granny"; my first husband's (and Pebbles' bio dad) ex-wife who has treated Pebbles like her own, even though she's been divorced from The BioDad for twenty plus years, and Sandy, who is Bick's daughter. I will be the only one in attendence to share actual DNA with the honoree. And it's all good.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. That thing you've been putting off? Do it now.