It is during times like this where I learn/know if I am managing things effectively. It's learning to manage when things are not going your way and learning to navigate your way back from being out in the weeds that is important. And that's where I sort of am. I am in the weeds here. I have let myself think about everything that I need to get accomplished over the next month and I've worked myself into a non-productive frenzy.
For the most part, I've been my own worst enemy here. I've said "Yes" when I should have said "No". Case in point, the cake for charity. I said "Yes", when I should have said, "Let me just make a donation to your fine organization". Instead, I added stressors to my already-stressed self.
Second case in point, in the middle of decorating said cake, I get a call from Bick (who was working) that Sandy got her car towed to police impound (illegal parking) in Dallas the night before. He didn't ask and she didn't ask, but I just jumped in and offered to fix this. Five and a half hours later, I am back at home and I still have a cake to decorate.
And I don't see a lot of relief in sight. While I am really looking forward to attending the A&M/UT at Kyle field on Thursday(it's a Bucket List thing for me), I'm not looking forward to going on to Houston on Friday where I expect me to cook for Bick's family - which means shopping at stores I don't frequent and cooking in a kitchen that is not mine. All day long. I need to get this negotiated with Bick. I do this because I love him and because he loves his momma and wants to share a sit down/at home meal with his family. Being "on" for two days just feels exhausting to me right now.
I'm also doing some grown-up stuff too - I am "getting my affairs" in order. I've met with an attorney to draw up wills, POA, living will, medical directives, etc. I'm pulling together all my life's paperwork to put together all sorts of plans for the future. No, nothing bad has happened, but it's just time to get all the financial, retirement, and other issues planned for. And that is adding to the stress, as well.
Eating obviously hasn't been good. Exercise has been pretty non-existent. I left the Jesus Gym on Saturday morning after only a few minutes because this woman was espousing her very intolerant views very loudly for all to hear and because my iPod had run out of juice. And I have got to find a way to deal with life without falling apart. These things aren't bad - they are good and I am not staying in the moment enough to enjoy it. I must narrow my focus, take care of what I can take care of today and let tomorrow take care of itself. I am being my own worst enemy here and allowing my "awfulizing" to get me whipped up into an axiety-laden frenzy.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Learn to say "NO".