Friday, December 4, 2009

Breaking It Down

Today was a bridal luncheon given by my office for Pebbles and Slater. I don't plan on telling really anyone about my move until after I return from the holidays. So that left us with some difficult situations today, but I had asked Pebbles and Slater to just go with it and they graciously did. I do feel badly about it, but I am not ready to talk about it now and I think everyone would be uncomfortable. So there we were. I'll talk when I'm a little less tender.

I am working on applying some cognitive behavior therapy techniques to my situation. I find myself starting to tear up at times and get emotional, which is fine, but rather than let my emotions run away with me, I am trying to pin down exactly what am I getting emotional about. Yes, the emotion is warranted, but am I engaging in thinking and logic errors right along with those emotions? If I behave as usual, then I tend to engage in "all or nothing" thinking, fortune telling, awfulizing - all the usual suspects. I am trying to keep my emotions real, true and honest but not let them drag me and keep me in some bad place. I do believe that it is important not to allow myself to engage in obsessive, thought churning. I'm using CBT techniques to turn myself away from that. So far, so so.

I picked up the keys, signed the lease and got my new address today, but it took so long that I didn't have any time to go up and pack, so all of that is left for tomorrow. I got an email from Sandy today. I responded and told her about Al-Anon. Alcoholism is a family affair and the group might be of benefit to her. It might have been the wrong thing to do, but I did it. I also said that I was available to her if she needed me.

So, I'm back at the hotel for one more night after spending a couple of nights with Pebbles and Slater - they have plans tonight and I wanted to just veg, surf and watch some cable tv as a bit of a treat. I'm thinking that I will not even get a tv at the new place. And I'm unsure about internet access. I've got a while and I can always change my mind, but I do want to do everything I can to encourage me to get out of the apartment as much as possible.

So there it is. Some really lovely parts to today and some rough patches. I am feeling better about my abilities to not get carried away. As I think about what other people are facing and going through, my stuff pales in comparison. It's all about perspective.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Emotions are not necessarily truths.


PS: I do so appreciate the support and insights that are coming my way via comments, emails and calls.


  1. You are doing really well with all of this, Roxie - it's hard enough to go through a break up, but to add a wedding and everything that accompanies it, along with the holidays...color me impressed, lady!

    And I'm stealing a line from your post, but need to remind YOU to take good care of yourself - extra good care. Hugs.

  2. Oh Roxie. I'm so sorry, sweety. My hurt just breaks for you. You will be inmy thoughts, dear. Hang in there. Life goes on and it gets better.


  3. You're doing what has to be done with grace and wisdom. Cheers from the sidelines. I hope things just get better and easier from here on out.

  4. With all you're dealing with, I think you're doing incredible. You are a very strong person.

    Hugs to you if you need them. :)

  5. Glad you got through today with minimal scarring. Good job sorting through things. It will be a little better when you are settled into your new place.
    Keep your chin up.

  6. If you dragged Sandy kicking & screaming to Al Anon and insisted that she attend a meeting a day for a month - THAT would be wrong. Letting her know it exists and offering a little help yourself? Gracious and appropriate.

    You have your head screwed on pretty straight there lady, you'll come out of this fine.

  7. Emotions can be deceitful; sometimes the brain and some good sound thinking makes better decisions. It sounds like you are on a stable path.


We'll try this for a while.