Thursday, December 3, 2009
First let me say thanks for the generous support in comments, emails and calls. I appreciate it. Y'all are good folks.
When it became apparent that this move was going to happen, my first inclination was to find the cheapest place I could and just hunker down. Curl up and get small. But as I thought about it, I decided that I had some options. I know that I am going to be sad. Hell, I am sad right this second. I will continue to be sad and lonely and a myriad of other feelings that haven't hit yet. I know that I have a tendency to isolate emotionally and I didn't need to add physical isolation to the list. So I plopped myself right in the middle of the action. I wanted a space to "feed" me as much as possible. I looked at the incremental cost of space versus interest and I decided on an apartment/loft in a new urban and pedestrian development. I may hate it, but the activity level should be higher and I could use a pinch of distraction as I work my way through this. It will certainly be a change to everything I've ever known. I hope that it makes the transition easier. Living in a hellhole wouldn't do a thing to improve my situation. I'm giving myself every opportunity to get through this. So for this next year, I'm a city girl. And I already have my first houseguest booked for February - thanks, Meg.
I pick up the keys to the new place tomorrow and the actual move will happen on Saturday. I was staying in a local hotel, but spent last night and will spend tonight at Pebbles' and Slater's new place.
I go to Bick's on Friday afternoon to begin packing and then on Saturday, I will do the actual move. I am dreading that on every level. We can't seem to see each other or even talk on the phone without both ending up in tears. I've asked for some privacy when moving and he's agreed.
Just for today, right now, this second, I am doing okay. I will be okay. I will be sad. I will be lonely, but in the long term, I will be okay.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Make yourself comfortable.