Monday, December 7, 2009

Two Hours

I am moved in and mostly settled. For the time being, I'm dubbing my new home "The Closet", as it is 1. very small, and 2. I've got lots of stuff, well, stuffed in the closet.

I was surprised at the stuff I actually did have. I view myself as, while not quite minimalist, certainly not overly prone to consumerism. But my aching back hurts from moving something, for sure. Pebbles and Slater did an admirable job of helping me move. Honestly, they did the heavy lifting. I had most everything packed up and in one area of the house. I'd rented a 17 foot truck and they just backed it up and started loading. That was the easy part. Figuring out that the truck was too tall to come into the parking garage was the hard part. We ended up using Pebbles' Matrix as sort of the wheelbarrow. We'd offload from the truck to the Matrix and then ferry the stuff up to the third floor. But it's all in now and sort of sorted out.

Yesterday was spent unpacking and searching for a shower curtain. Honestly, I went to about four stores looking for a shower curtain and could find nothing I liked. So for now, I've got just a liner up. But it's coming together.

Pebbles pointed out that I now have two more hours each day. Two hours that I no longer spend commuting to and from work. Two hours is significant. I feel like I need to put the time to good use. After work I think I'll hit a CODA meeting. Normally I attend on Friday nights, but it may be time for a change there too.

Sandy came into to town and I took us to dinner last night. We had a good long talk about Bick, alcoholism and alanon. I don't know if she will go, but I gave her the info. She did tell me that SadieLu is mourning my move as well as her dad. I do miss my life there and I will continue to do so, I'm sure.

I did get up an avail myself of the fancy new workout facilities that The Closet offers. It is in the other building and it's both a physical and mental exercise to even get there. It's like this maze that you have to find your way through, but I did and I had the place to myself this morning. Plus, cable tv! Yay. I don't have a tv nor internet nor a radio, so it's pretty quiet around here. But I do have books and I plan to read a good deal.

It is also my plan to live as much of my life on foot as possible. Which means NOT IN HEELS, so I've begun the search for comfortable, cute, stylish shoes that are not tennis shoes and don't make my feet look more gun-boaty that they already do. I'd be six foot tall if I didn't have so much turned under for feet!

I had a good conversation with Bick over the weekend. I don't know if I will impose a "no talk" rule or not. Right now, that just seems too hard on both of us. I'll play this part by ear and trust my judgment.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Spend your time wisely.



  1. Hi Roxie,
    You sound a bit more positive today, I hope you're feeling a little better about your situation now that you're getting things sorted out, and coping with all the logistics and everything. It sounds like you've had a challenging day or two on top of everything else, and I really admire the strength and courage you show in dealing with this. And it was great to hear from you again today!

  2. Ya know - I'm not so sure the band-aid analogy fits here.

    I don't know that I'd completely cut off contact with Bick. This may be the impetus he needs to realize he's got to change. Not that YOU need to be the agent of change, but if he does get on board and work a good program, maybe . . . .

    I think you're right to let things ride for a while and see where they lead.

  3. I do like how you name all of your abodes (and vehicles, come to think of it...)!

    Glad you are all moved in. Isn't it funny how you can focus on one thing, like the shower curtain? I so get that.

    Good job finding your way to the gym - glad to hear it was so nice! And adopting a pedestrian lifestyle sounds so hip - I love it! Great excuse to buy new shoes, too!

    It seems like you are doing well and for that I am glad.

  4. One day at a time and one foot in front of the other!! You're doing great and I hope you find just the perfect curtain; one that makes you smile and be glad about where you are!!

    You don't seem the type to "settle" so don't, even when it comes to a shower curtain!!

    You deserve the BEST!!!

  5. I was thinking the same thing about you having an extra 2 hours a day! Enjoy it.
    I never got TV or cable when I was living alone. I did not miss it one bit. I had to have internet and my music but that gave me everything I needed.
    I am thinking of you and sending lots of love and support.

  6. Oh Roxie, I'm just getting caught up on your blog. First of all, I'm so sorry. Second of all, I think you're doing the right thing.

    I lived with an alcoholic boyfriend when I was 21. It was a very dark time in my life. I wrote about it on my blog a few months ago. It's been over 30 years and I still remember the Al-Anon meetings and the AA meetings I went to with him.

    It's so hard because you want to help them, but you can't. It's totally up to them. You're doing the right thing, for yourself and for Bick.

    Your apartment sounds cool, plus all the walking will be really good for you. I know you're going to come through this just fine. You're a strong lady and you can do this.

  7. Hi Roxie,

    I continue to be impressed by your ability to take care of yourself. It's hard to tear yourself away from someone you love in order to save your own life. But that's the's tough love not as a means of manipulating or even forcing the alcoholic to finally do something; rather tough love of yourself to no longer be a victim of the insanity that only an active alcoholic can generate. Hang in - you sound strong and solid. My thoughts are with you!

  8. Your new place sounds nice. I like all of your new plans. Love your strength and courage. That rocks. Believe in yourself and you will find your way.

  9. glad you are settling in. Anytime you live somewhere for a while, there is a natural accumulation.
    hope you find shoes that are lo profile as I like to call them. I have kind of fat stubby I try to keep width in mind when buying shoes.


We'll try this for a while.