Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Urban Renewal

It is with deep personal sadness that I announce that I’ve moved into the city. My relationship with Bick, as caring and loving as it is, has reached a stalemate and I have no other choice but to go on with my life sans my very best friend. Bick is an active alcoholic, a high functioning daily drinker. And alcoholism is a progressive disease. There is no future for me there. It is my sincere hope that he chooses to get some help.

I knew he was an alcoholic when we got together. I thought I could handle it – that I could detach from his disease and let it be his. I told myself that when his addiction started to make my world smaller, then I would leave. My world was getting smaller and I have fought too hard to allow his choices to further impact my life. And I will miss him so. My heart is broken.


-Roxie

20 comments:

  1. My heart goes out to you. I am thinking of you and wish I could help. I am sending LOTS of love and support. Take things one day at a time.

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  2. So sorry. I know this was a hard, hard decision. You should know that you did make the right one. {{{{hugs}}}}

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  3. You'll be fine, and maybe this will be the impetus for him to get his act together.

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  4. I'm sorry that this is happening.

    It's a hard choice and a brave one. In my heart, I know you will be fine.

    Give me call if you want to chat.

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  5. Oh, Roxie, I'm so sorry. Jack S is right, maybe this will help Bick get his act together, but if not...you need to do what is best for you, and you are doing it.

    I'm sending big hugs your way.

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  6. So much pain with a broken heart. I'm so sorry for you.
    Time has helped to heal my own broken heart as I hope it will help you too.

    Highly recommend Pema Chodron's book (audio) When Things Fall Apart &/or The Places that Scare you. (Any of her books are soothing.)

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  7. You did the right, though you sound like you already know that. I feel it took extra guts to do it right now, with the wedding coming up and all. You, my dear are a brave woman.

    You will be ok. There is no doubt in my mind.

    I am sorry for your broken heart. For me it was so painful that I haven't dated in over 10 years. Probably alot of the reason I got fat in the 1st place. If you are fat, you're invisable.

    Know that I am here for you. That I will be thinking about you and remembering you in my prayers.

    Here's to wide open spaces! Your world just opened back up!

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  8. {{{{{{Roxie}}}}}} Well, damn. I'm so sorry to hear this! My heart aches for you, BUT I know that you are stronger (than you probably even know) that this and will come out okay.

    Hang in there and know that you are loved and adored from all over!!

    Like you always say... NOT YOUR PIG. Give the space and maybe just maybe it will cure itself.

    hugs...!

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  9. Oh, I'm so sorry. Let's do dinner soon?

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  10. I'm so sorry for you, but also salute your commitment to yourself, and your knowledge that you can't change him. Active alcoholics wreak total havoc in their lives, and all in the periphery are affected. You are a strong woman to get out of dodge and save yourself. I wish you all the best.

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  11. Wow Roxie I am so sorry to hear that. I am at a bit of a crossroads too with a man who is an alcoholic. I knew it getting into the relationship as well. I thought it was HIS problem but it eventually became OURS. I think it took you a lot of guts and I think even though it is hard to imagine now that you will be better off without him. Hugs to you!

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  12. I'm sorry to hear that, but you know what is best for you. Sometimes doing what is right is way harder than staying with something unproductive.

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  13. Oh Rox, I understand too well where you are. I know the two of you care very deeply for each other. Maybe this is the kick in the head Bick needs to wake up.

    If it isn't, you've certainly made the best choice for YOU. Stay strong. Looks like you have a great support network, make good use of it!

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  14. Hey, girl. I hear the pain in your words and I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Why can't the people we love see what they do to themselves? I'm so proud of you though, for seeing it for what it is. I'm here - anytime.

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  15. I'll say a pray for you today; moving forward can be painful.

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  16. Oh Roxie ...
    I'm truly very sorry for your heart but as always admire the strength of your mind to make the right decisions.

    Big HUGS to wrap around your heart. <3

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  17. I'm so sorry about the pain you must be feeling. I know the decision to move must have been very hard. You're doing the right thing to follow your heart.

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We'll try this for a while.