Over the past week or so, I've found myself wandering over to take Bick's inventory for him. "If only he would" this or that. And some of that is to be expected, certainly considering the disappointment in all of this. But the danger is me putting my life on hold to see what he will do instead of focusing on the things I need to be doing, the personal inventory that I need to be taking.
By focusing on what he's doing, I'm allowing his actions to dictate my life and happiness. Not that he's trying to do this, but that's what happens when I allow my mind to drift too much - other things develop too much power over my life. I am largely responsible for my own happiness and when I give over the control to someone or something else, then I feel less happy very quickly. Codependence in action, that is.
I've fallen by the wayside food and exercise-wise, but my plan is to stem that bad tide today, at lunch. Other good things include trying to schedule a mani and pedi, to get my hair colored (couldn't get an appt yesterday) and to get out and about, I'm going to a wine tasting for residents in my development. I'm looking forward to that.
I think I'm going to have to call in the professional carpet cleaners to get my carpets cleaned. I'm afraid of the residue left over on a d-i-y job, so that bill will go to my darling daughter - as for the lost stuff, well, that's just lost, but this will be an out-of-pocket expense that she needs to cover and she will.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't give away your power.