Sunday started with a sleepless night on Saturday night - being awaken by the party crowd coming home at 2ish and me being unable to return to sleep. I made the mistake of taking an Ambien at 3am. Consequently, I was too drowsy to get out of bed in time for church. So I enjoyed a lazy cuppa Joe or two and headed for the gym.
I got from home from the gym to find a call on my cell that Bick was on his way. He and Sadie Lu arrived a bit later. Sadie did not like coming to town and dealing with elevators and elevated walkways. But she was just fine once she got in The Closet. She knew this stuff, hell, most of it probably still has her dog hair on it. It wasn't long before I was covered in her dog hair too.
Bick and walked to a local place to get a burger and watch some of the game. This place was great. The outdoor patio was loaded on this warm and sunny January day. We left stuffed and happy. We walked back through the development, noting a couple of other retailers that are getting ready to open. We got SadieLu and headed out to buy and antenna for the new tv. And then we headed back to the park from yesterday. It was even more abuzz with activity today. Bick opined that they need an actual dog park and I really don't know why they don't have one. They have room for it and a lot of people bring their dogs and would welcome some off-leash time, I think. Anyway, we walked through the park and talked and it was nice.
We came back and tried the antenna to no avail. It only brings in one Spanish-language channel. I'm going to take back this antenna and try one other one and if that fails, then try to convince Mom and Sis to take it back. I do not want to have cable. It's been years since I've had it and I'm fine without it.
And then it was time for Bick to leave. And as we were saying goodbye, I just started to cry - really it's the first tears I've cried over this since the first week. It's all just so sad and unfortunate. I'm doing the right thing for me and I just have to acknowledge that it is sad. I'm sad for me and I'm sad for him. I look at him and know that he's hurting - and not just because of me. I can't say that I think alcohol brings him any pleasure anymore. He just thinks he can't live without it. So I am sad tonight, it's to be expected and I'm okay with it. I'll just be in this feeling and not attempt to hide from it or stuff it. This is life and sometimes it's sad. I'm not overwrought or depressed. Just a bit of wishing things hadn't turned out this way, I guess.
In the meantime, I'm continuing to do good things for me. I've got a medley of vegetables roasted and in the fridge. I'm making a Roxie-made-up recipe of eggplant parmesan faux-panini stacks. I've got a spaghetti squash roasting in the oven - all veg for use next week. I'd really let my vegetable intake drop down.
Speaking of vegetables, Bick did call upon his return home today to tell me that our brussels sprouts were LOADED. Evidently all the garden survived the hard freeze of last week just fine. So perhaps there will be some fresh brussels sprouts in my future.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Stay tuned in to your feelings.