Monday, January 4, 2010
Surveying The Landscape
Well, hell's bells. Came in to work this morning and immediately scarfed down the homemade pralines left to me by a coworker. How's that for resolve? Sheesh. Oh well. Onward and onward.
Yesterday was a lovely day. I enjoyed the church services - yesterday was the burning ceremony - where you write down all the things you want to leave behind and then throw them into a bowl to be burned up. In addition, you write down the things you want to replace the things that you are leaving behind - in my case, old resentments, obsessive thoughts, manipulation, and excessive need for validation. All of that crap to be replaced with my expanded theme "To be present as my best self for my best life: a year of urban renewal".
Thanks for the notes, both public and private on external validation. Obviously I am not the only one who craves/needs/suffers. And enjoying ego strokes isn't wrong - I got some yesterday from my friends and I loved them. My problem is when I am like the "Shop of Horrors" plant saying "Feed Me!" and would resort to desperate attempts to secure said validation, either by word or deed. If it's offered freely, then take it and wallow in it. If I have to use manipulation to get it, then there's some self-esteem that's missing in me.
Wonderful lunch with the friends yesterday (way too much soul food) and had a nice dinner at Bick's last night. Was able to pick up a few things up there to bring home. Up a bit late this morning, but I did manage to get some gym-time in before work.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Look around and learn what is really going on.