Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Big Picture

Wednesday must be funk day here in Bloggerville. Some of my favorite people are either outright struggling or in some sort of a funk. Me, I'm more in the funk-y camp. I've spent the morning trying to decide what was causing my woe-ette-is-me frame of mind.

The nutshell version is this: I'm irritated that the scale is moving in a direction that is unexpected and, I think, unwarranted. I'm irritated that whatever new security features installed on my laptop prevent me from leaving comments on some blogs. I hate all my clothes. Pebbles made a remark that sort of stung a little bit. Or rather, I chose to be stung - my issue, not hers. I am dreading the conversation with Bick that should come soon. It will be a difficult talk to have, but it needs to be done. Valentine's Day will be the next opportunity to have a face-to-face. Am I the woman who breaks up with someone on Valentine's Day? Am I the woman who goes through Valentine's Day knowing what's coming? Or on his birthday? Bitch.Whine.Moan.

And then I went back through my archives - dating back to 2001 and reread some of the stuff from earlier times. Boy, am I glad I'm in THIS February versus some of the other Februarys. I like the 2010 Roxie much better than the far-more-frantic woman of years before. I'm in a much better, much healthier (on many levels) space than I've been before. Good things - keeping an eye on the overall journey rather than just whatever twinge today. It's important to stay in the moment, but getting a bigger perspective can sometimes help.

Good workout this morning, plus I went again last night to keep myself from an "hominy oatcake" experience. I don't know what's on tap for the noon hour.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Progress, not perfection.

-Roxie
153.5

7 comments:

  1. You have no idea how much I hope next February's blogs are different for me as well! Thanks for the point to Thufferin Thucotash - just the laugh I needed. *Progress not perfection* she repeats as she types in the word verification

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  2. I'm in a funk! This job hunting thing is getting me down now...
    Sorry to hear that things aren't great for you as well, but its good that you feel you're in a better place this year. I have to thank you for the timing of this post because its made me feel the same way - I don't have years of posts to read back through, but I know that I was even less happy during past February's when the approach of Valentine's made he feel miserable, insecure, unloved and unlovable, not least because the fit of my (large) clothes reminded me I needed to lose weight... still.
    Your progress is inspiring to me, though I don't suppose that's much consolation while you have issues with Bick to deal with. I hope you get things resolved soon so at least its not hanging over your head.

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  3. Are you using Chrome as your browser? I can't leave comments on certain blogs when I use it, so I switch back to Firefox. Which is too bad, as I like Chrome's speediness!

    I think dread is a terrible feeling to have...so no wonder you are in a funk. Maybe just get it over with and be done with the dread? IDK. Hang in there.

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  4. Keep your on on what you're going to get out of it, how your life is going to improve. Keep strong. :)

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  5. Hi Roxie -

    I'm beginning to think there are toxic sunspots emanating from the sun as many of us seem to be broadcasting from Funksville. Thanks so much for your kind comments this morning on my bitch/moan/whine. Reading it later, it sounded much darker than I felt later - so the brain elimination must have helped. I hope it does for you as well.

    Everything changes - this too shall pass. And I love "progress, not perfection." Did you know that's a key phrase in the AA literature called "How It Works"? I wish you well with the potential breakup. You seem remarkably grounded through this all. I'm rooting for you to take care of yourself, and am confident you will. Hang in!

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  6. I am not sure if I'm in a funk or not but if I had to eat a hominy oatcake, I'd not be all that happy.
    Maybe the funk is seasonal affective disorder? Maybe it's not enough See's candy.

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  7. Roxie, I just love you. I don't know what it is but when I read your posts, even when you're in a funky mood, I always feel better.

    You always come out looking at the positive. That's an incredible trait in a human being. :)

    Take care and have a marvelous weekend with your girlfriend.

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We'll try this for a while.