Boy, that's me on this Monday morning. I hit the snooze button twice - very unusual for me. I did manage to hit the gym this morning, but lord knows I did not want to. For whatever reason, it just seemed insurmountable this morning - get workout clothes, shoes socks etc - getting it all together seemed just too much - crazy talk, I know. I finally had to apply some logic to the situation and give myself a stern pep talk "Roxie, you know exactly where your workout clothes and shoes are. You know it will take you exactly thirty seconds to get them on. Just shut up and do it." So I did it, even thought I didn't want to. I came back from the gym and made my breakfast to take to work, even though I didn't want to. I took the time to dress nicely, even though I didn't want to and I took a few minutes to straighten up The Closet so all would look serene when I came home, even though I didn't want to.
Yesterday was uncomfortable for me - the movie was very hard for me to watch. I could tell it affected Bick as well. It left me pretty deflated - good movie, but subject matter a little too close to home. And when we got home, I tried to begin a discussion with Bick regarding our situation, starting with the realization that we were three months in and nothing had changed. He told me that he was sorry that he wasn't keeping up with my schedule and he left. I'd hoped for a more meaningful discussion, but I guess enough was said and that he understood that I am not happy with things as they are.
I am working on adding to my activity calendar. I'm looking for some creative outlet - I wish there was some "Stitch and Bitch" stuff going on around here. Something to investigate, for sure. Sorry to be such a downer this morning, but that's how I'm feeling. It's not how I'm acting, however. I'm acting "as if". I'm not making anything worse.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. First, do no harm.