Friday, February 26, 2010

You Can Leave Your Hat On

My Mom and Sis surprised me with a belated V-Day gift - the pictured Vince Camuto Carma booties. The upside? Cute, cute shoes. The downside? Obviously Mom's shopping again. Repeat after me "I have no control over other people". Say it again. Anyway, they are cute and I will try to enjoy them - since they were given to me with no shoe box and no receipt (and no, I don't think she stole them). That's just so I can't return them. In my family, we are firmly committed to our addictions.

Did day 1 of the New Rules of Lifting for Women this morning. Unpleasantly surprised at my lack of strength, but I will not let that deter me. If I was all strong and stuff, I would have no need for such a program. I had to make a couple of mods - regular rows instead of seated rows and I had to take my weights outside the gym to find something to step on. I also need a watch if I'm going to time my rests between activities. Oh, and obviously, I cannot do the pushups, so I'm starting with the "easy" ones and hoping my shoulder/rotator cuff issues don't spring up again. I am taking it slow and easy. I can do this and prevent injury because I've got all the time in the world. I don't have to be the best, the fastest, or the most agile (heaven's to Betsy on a pogo-stick -there is just no way to remain graceful upon entry and exit for the prone jackknifes!).

Now on to the hat story - a few days ago I went for the big bike ride. I do not have a helmet, but decided that I need to get one. Yes, it's dorky, but this old brain is the only one I gots and I'd like to keep it intact for as long as possible, so I set out to Target to buy a brain bucket. Did I mention that I have a big old head? Not hugely (said in the Donald Trump voice) oversized, but at 7 1/4, it is a bit large for a short woman. Anyway, I'm in the Target trying on helmets and none of them fit. All too small. I pick up a purple one and snap it one and it fits! YAY! Except now, I can't get the damned thing off! It won't unsnap/unhook/unwhatever. What the hell do I do? Go up to a complete stranger and ask for help getting off my hat? Just walk through the checkout stand, bend over and scan my head? Then what? Wear the SOB to bed? Crap! I'm in a blind panic in the Target store with a purple big helmet permanent affixed to my big old head. Why does this crap happen to me? So I just push my cart to an area of the store (wearing my purple hat) to find a mirror to try to extricate the cranium cover. I finally find a mirror and get the dammed thing off. The snap closure was this pronged affair, and in my haste to find a helmet, I'd got it attached slightly askew and it didn't want to unleash. So even though it fit my big head, it was too easy to put on incorrectly, so I passed on the purple one. In the end, I bought nothing. Which is a shame, because a mind like this would be a terrible thing to waste.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Wear protective gear.



  1. I had a visual of you in the store - sorry but I then got the giggles. I thought only I would have these type of things happen :)

    Glad you tried out the NRL4W. I was doing the pushups in the womens form, then once I finished reading the book, realized I needed to do a full mans pushup - which I can do very few of. So now I've been doing them at angles so that eventually I can do more than 5 full pushups off of the floor.

  2. Ok. Too many good things here. I don't know where to start. The "We are firmly committ to our addictions" along with the no shoe box thing cracked me up. Thought it couldn't get any better.

    I was wrong. Damn it where was your camera?! LMAO! My sister got a Steeler's helmet stuck on her head. Her family filmed her instead of helping her. Best decision they ever made. Priceless..

    One of your best posts. Oh hell, what am I talking about. They are all good!

  3. Roxie, this blog is flat out funny today. Thanks for the chuckles. I say better stuck in a bike helmet than in a dressing room in one of those full body spanx. (Oh, did I say that out loud?)

  4. "Scan my head" ....I swear Roxie your trying to kill me!

    Good for you for wearing a helmet. I need to get one too. Although i have two brand new bikes sitting in my hubby's workshop that have been ridden ONCE! I need to fix that problem!

  5. Thanks for making me laugh this morning!

  6. Ah yes, the prone jackknives - I fell off the ball the first time I did those. Talk about embarrassing!

    You will build strength and confidence each time you lift, and pushups progress at lightening speed!

  7. I share your helmet finding woes. With a very close haircut I come in at around a 7 3/4. Friggin major task to find ANY head gear that fits.

    I am lucky in that so few do fit I don't really need to clip in the straps to know if it's going to be close.

    Oh in my case, big head != more brains. big head = thicker skull. Bummer.

    ps - finally found a brain bucket at Dick' Sporting Goods. The brand is Giro. They were the only ones that came close for me. As it is, I installed none of the inner pads, and if my hair gets too long/thick, it's difficult to squeeze into.

  8. Hey, we could wear the same helmet! Not at the same time, no.
    I had to buy my helmet from a bicycle store, and it cost more, but I got a helmet with vents in it, to cool things off, and it's adjustable! There's a little wheel at the back that I can use to tighten or loosen the helmet.
    I love my helmet. Hope you find one that loves you back :)

  9. Oh man I wish I could have been a fly on the wall... I'm not laughing AT you, but WITH you. Too funny!! And I thought shit like that only happended to ME.

  10. I feel for you with regard to the lifting - I'm still slightly in shock about my own (lack of) strength doing my exercise DVD!
    You're right though, doing it (safely) doesn't require you / me to be the best straight away!
    I hope you do get a helmet soon, we don't want to lose you or your mind!
    But it wouldn't hurt to take a camera next time you go trying them on... just in case ;-)

  11. Very funny post! Glad you got the purple "hat" off your head! Glad to hear your lack of strength is not a deterrent from continuing. Continue to empower yourself and others!

  12. Oh man, I am busting up at the thought of you walking through check out so they can scan your helmet! Too funny! And I've never thought of head size in relation to height, either!

    OK, and your mom not giving you the box for the shoes is hilarious! They are gorgeous, and I see that Kristen at LowFat Dressing wears some Vince Camutos, so you are in good, fashionable company.

  13. That is freakin hysterical, the purple helmet and the mind being a terrible thing to waste.

    I have a bike helmet. Don't forget the insides are adjustable. I don't have the ENORMOUS head problem that you have. LOL. Kidding. I have a POD-shaped head with a flat dent in the back. When I had chemo and was bald, I'd refuse to wear anything on my head if we went out for dinner because I figured if I was sick, I may as well taken everyone down with by making them gag at my headshape while they were trying to stomach a nice calm meal.

    You killed me today. BIG HEAD TODD.

  14. Oh-ho-ho. that was funny. I've done a LOT of things like that. But, this is your moment. I'll letcha shine.

  15. Mega cute shoes.

    Great story about the hat. LOL Thanks for sharing it.

  16. If a box comes for me in teh mail with qvc stamped on is almost 99 percent certainly from my mother.
    You can't control other people.
    I'm glad you were able to get the helmet off...nuff said. lol.

  17. Oh my gosh! Love the helmet story...and I'm still laughing!!! :) That's exactly something that would happen to me. And I have a big old head too. Bigger than normal. I tell my husband it means I'm smarter (when actually means I'm kind of a freak).

    Love those shoes too, very cute.

    NRL4W - I have it and hate it. I've tried to do their routines several times and I just don't like them. So like the treadmill, I moved on to a different book. Although, when I started it I was a bit discouraged because I was weak. Maybe I should give it another try now. I suppose it would be good to know if I could do their routines. Okay, you convinced me - I'll try it today. :)

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