I'm just writing this entry to help prepare for my afternoon. It's a post to center me and help me visualize what I need to do and where I need to be when I'm tip-toeing through a minefield.
There's a scene at the end of an Arnold movie, where he's walking away and stuff is blowing up and on fire behind him. I feel like Arnold today.
Looks like the Family Acrtic Freeze came pretty quickly to an end as the rest of the family exploded into a free-for-all shouting match on Saturday night that included my Mother, Sister, Aunt and cousin. Gauntlets were thrown down, passed actions thrown up into people's faces and names were called. As it was described to me by my Mom, it was pretty ugly. The bottom line is my sister is getting the worst end of the deal. Her inability to see our Mom with any clarity is causing her to jump in and defend when Mom is really in an indefensible position. And all of this has to do with the family's financial entanglements. Boy, do I look brilliant based upon last week's decision. When all this was being relayed to me, my only response was along the lines of "That's unfortunate" or "I'm so sorry this has happened". I did not jump in. I did not preach. I just let it be.
So here is my dilemma. I am a codie, but working on it. As such, I want to help my sister out with this. But she is so enmeshed in the family, that she can't see her way out. And it's my guilt over her being "left behind" that has kept me tangled for far too long. Backstory, she's almost like a daughter to me. She'll be 35 next month. So she called me this morning and I could tell she's hurting, so I invited her to lunch today. It will be a real test of my recovery to let her own her own stuff. Think good thoughts for me, okay? And her too. I know that she is an adult and is now responsible for seeing her own way through this. She's got me as a "model" if she wants to use it.
My plan is to just listen and do not offer advice unless she specifically asks "Sis, what do you think I should do?" Then I can offer my opinion and let go of the outcomes.
Eating has been on track. I even stared down the chips at a Tex-Mex restaurant on Saturday night and WON! Exercise could be better. I'll have the opportunity to correct that - I started to say today, but since I'm seeing my sister at lunch, it will be this evening.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. I am powerless over people.