Monday, April 19, 2010

Window On the Weekend

Item 1. The key to a great eggbeaters omelet:

I am a meat eater. If you can wrap it in bacon, I'm down with that. So in my latest quest to reduce saturated fat and my LDL, I've made a big move away from such things. But I needed something to take its place. Enter sauteed mushrooms and roasted red peppers (from a jar). Each omelet begins with a spritz of olive oil flavored spray and some sliced mushrooms, diced red peppers and usually some chopped/roasted vegetables from the night before. I'll also throw in some herbs, fresh if I've got it (Bick brought me a whole bunch of fresh herbs yesterday). I'm a volume eater and this omelet is big and very filling, usually with a serving of vegetables and tastes great. Oh, and I'm not adding any salt either. I have had some great luck adding GOOD smoked paprika. Seriously, it's great stuff. Not the kind that grandma threw over the top of deviled eggs for some color. Hie thee to a bulk spice place and buy just a thimble-full of good smoked paprika. It makes a difference.

Item 2: Bick

We had a great time yesterday. He bought his new freezer (why that man needs a freezer, I'll never know, but he's always been committed to having a freezer). He looks great and seems to be doing well. He looks healthier. He said he was losing weight, he thought, but since I took my scale, he doesn't know for sure. I had to laugh, as he said he calculated that he had been consuming 20K in booze calories a week and was now replacing it with 10K worth of ice cream. He's going to meetings and is sober. I didn't ask a lot of questions, as it is his business. We shopped and hung out for a while. He brought me some herbs from the garden and some more okra from the the garden/freezer.

Other than that, I don't know that there is a status. We obviously adore one another - that was never in question. Neither of us are talking a shared future, which is sad. His recovery is the most important thing right now. I'm under a lease and I've begun to look at houses. Nothing has to be decided today. It is my wish that our paths bring us together again, but I am still concentrating on my life and my stuff. I've got time and it is that time, coupled with actions that will tell if there is a we. The idea that there won't be a we makes me sad, but it doesn't destroy me. I'll be okay and it is my hope that he will be, too.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Love enough to let go.

-Roxie
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8 comments:

  1. I'm a huge fan of the Eggbeater omelet myself. Once in a while if I get daring, I use spinach with the mushrooms and red peppers then sprinkle a teeny bit of feta cheese.

    It is ok to be sad. So glad you wouldn't be destroyed. It is hard to love and let go, it really is.

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  2. Sounds like you had a lovely weekend. I'm so glad that Bick is doing well and hopefully you don't have to worry about him too much at present. It's great that 2 people who care so much about each other can still maintain a good relationship without tearing each other apart after everything that's happened, even if you might not be together again in the same way. You're obviously both very special people. It's also great though that you're looking after yourself and putting yourself first more, while keeping that relationship and letting him put his needs first too. I really hope you do find a meeting of your paths again some day, but its definitely best not to push for that while he's in recovery - that way I think you'd only damage what is clearly a strong bond. And damage each other too.
    I am sorry that you're sad right now though, sending you a big virtual hug

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  3. Ok I'm gonna try the omlette thing. I am kind of sick of my Eggbeaters McMuffin. I need to shake up my breakfast.

    Sounds like you had a nice weekend. Signing a year lease was a smart thing to do. That will give you enough time to see where you both stand. I can't believe you have been at the CLoset for almost 6 months!

    It was nice that you had a nice time! Happy for you. Thanks for the prod about the nighttime eating. Planing ahead as I type this!

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  4. I like your jarred peppers idea.

    Sounds like you're in a healthy place. Keep taking care of you. :)

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  5. I bought some smoked paprika but didn't know what to use it on - have to try it on an omelet now. Great idea!

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  6. Shared futures with a sober friend sounds good. Although 10k worth of ice cream and 10k worth of booze seems like replacing one addiction for another. I ought to know.

    It has been very hard (at my age) to let go of certain things or things of which I felt certain. Letting go had to start with the idea that not many things are certain (at my age).

    I'm glad you got to spend time together. And it's funny that he wants a freezer. Maybe that's a redflag. haha

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  7. I'm so glad you're in a good space and able to care about him without getting yourself tied up in knots. Would be nice if there was a little more of that sort of thing in the world, don't you think?

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  8. I make my omelet about like yours, only I add a little aged shredded parm. Or feta, whichever I happen to have.

    {{hugs}} to you, Roxie. Keep looking up.

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We'll try this for a while.