Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Stubbed My Toe

Not literally. But my toe did hurt while in down dog yesterday. It may be time for another pedicure. I have really weird toes that are prone to ingrowns and I have to watch it. Sometimes, I cannot even stand to have the weight of a sheet across the tops of my toes.

No, my stubbing was more of the behavioral variety. I was going along and having a good day and I made a decision that has made me uneasy. A work friend forwarded to me and several other co-workers (as URGENT) a "Joke" email that I found offensive. I chose to do a REPLY ALL and said:

Please do not forward to me any thing with political content. Obviously, our politics and views are very different and I wouldn't want that to interfere with our friendship.

I do believe that silence implies compliance, but I now wish that I hadn't done the reply all. And now I need to decide if I owe an apology.

In other news, I need some creative advice. Backstory - if I am vertical, then I am cold. I am cold in cars, I am cold in offices, I am cold in movie theatres and I am cold at home. Doesn't matter what the ambient temperature is, I am cold. If you see me riding shotgun in Bick's truck, I will be wrapped in an Eddie Bauer fleece blanket that stays in his truck for just that purpose. If you have to ride with me, you will see that I will attempt to make you comfortable, but I will shut off all vents on my side of MalibuKen. Being cold is one thing, having cold air BLOWING on me turns me into a rat-tailed bitch. So I am fond of the pashmina. I have a variety of them and I adore them. I bought a summer shawl this weekend. I found it at World Market - just a plain white sari/wrap/pashmina with fringed edges. It's light and white and will go with everything. Great, no? No. I look like I'm wrapped up in a bed sheet. It's too white. So here's the creative question - I want to doll this wrap up - by enhancing it in some way. These enhancements need to be something that can be added one at a time - I don't want this to turn into some project that I don't complete and can't use. No, the wrap needs to be usable while in process. And it needs to be remain washable and not have things fade on it. Okay, put on your thinking caps and give me some ideas to doll up my summer wrap! Buttons? Appliques? Pantiliners?

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Beware of cold shoulders.



  1. Silence can be golden. But other times i agree with you it can mean compliance. So maybe you could have said it a different way. And would political views really interfere with your friendships? Hubs and i have completely different politcal views and we voice them. :) We've never voted for the same person. Variety is the spice of Life. And the shaw? How about a beaded trim??? Worried about washing? You could attach it with velcro and take it off to wash???deb

  2. My best friend (a girlfriend of 25 years) and I have completely opposing political views, so we have agreed to not talk about politics. We actually joke about it with others, if someone brings up something political in a group, because we are sure to have polar opposite views. We just look at each other, smile, and then say in unison…"we don't talk about politics."

    So, I don't think you really meant that "that" would interfere with your friendship. More likely, you were thinking…work is not the appropriate place to be sending emails of that type? I'm not sure if you need to apologize, per say (except for maybe the reply to ALL…I NEVER reply to ALL), but rather have a conversation your friend in which you explain your feelings. Well, I sound like I've got it all figured out, don't I? ha ha. Not really, just some thoughts. But I'm like you...I dwell on things like this after I've done them. But hindsight is 20/20.

    As for the pashmina, I also think some kind of fringe would dress it up, and unless the fringe is extremely delicate or fancy, it should be washable.

  3. I guess what triggered me on this one was that it was beyond politics and went to what I considered to be bigoted hate and fear-mongering. I couched my response in terms of politics, but it wasn't really political.

    And just because it has a picture of "Maxine" in the email, doesn't make it a joke.

    And now that I think about it, I'm perfectly fine with my response. Although I should have had enough backbone to called it as I really saw it and not wrapped it in a political shell. Differing political views I can and do respect - this issue was deeper and will interfere with friendships. Silence implies compliance.

    Thank you for the opportunity to get some clarity.

  4. Pantiliners just about made me spew my coffee onto my monitor! Lord, you make me laugh!!!

    You could find an artsy rubber stamp and use that with fabric paint on the shawl...really I am no help with things like this, but I did want to tell you that I love the heat now that I have lost weight because there are times when I am not cold! I can't even stand to eat my frozen yogurt unless we are sitting at a table outside in the sun - otherwise I'm freezing.

    I have someone who sends me political crap and I just hit delete. Wish I had the nerve to tell him to take me off his list. Obviously I have a problem with him, as he's also one of the two who told me that I couldn't eat dessert, and I said nothing. Such a wuss. At least you stood up for yourself, although reply all probably wasn't the best, as some of those people might not like getting that crap either.

  5. I admire you for not just keeping quiet about the offensive email, though I must admit I probably wouldn't have used Reply All myself. But then I'm a wuss, and when people have repeatedly sent me emails I found annoying or offensive (or unwanted invitations to eat biscuits or cakes for someone's birthday) I've always settled for creating a rule that auto-deletes those emails without my having to even see them. Gives me the result I want, but doesn't stop the problem at source because not saying anything does imply that at the very least you don't mind receiving the emails. So I'd say you were right to reply and make your feelings known.
    As far as the shawl goes, I have the creativity of a snail (unless I can eat the results) so I can't help, but I hope you'll show us the results when you decide what to do!

  6. You're right, political is one thing...offensive (racist, bigoted, mean/nasty) is another. You were right to call her out on that.

  7. Malibu Ken and Pashima Roxie!
    Hugs for your toe!

  8. I got nuttin' honey on the Pashmina, although it did occur to me that you might be my daughter's "real" mother. She's always cold too!

    As far as that email, I think your response was great. I also think those things should be kept out of work email! I'd bet your HR department would say the same. Some things are better left unsaid at work - but if they do get said they need to be stopped.

  9. I love your response. I can see why the "reply to all" is something you wish you could pull back, but it was a great to inform the masses of your feelings about this.

    Just yesterday I got something stupid and not funny about financial abundance where I was supposed to forward to 8 people "or you'll be bankrupt by the end of 2010." This enrages me!!! I've told people before to never send me anything that requires or requests a forward in order to ward off some tragedy, but this was from someone I don't know well. I felt like sending an email to my entire address book with a blanket statement, but did nothing. Your "silence connotes compliance" was good.

    I'm the opposite of you thermally. I'm eternally hot and keep the air conditioning sub polar when I can get away with it!

    BTW, mailed your bag today!

  10. When you have it wrapped, can you "pin it" with a big flower? Okay wait, that sounded better in my head.

    But take me seriously for just one sec. Get a variety of silk flowers, snip them or pull them from their stem. Hot glue a pin back (can be found at michaels) onto it. (if it doesn't stick to the plastic flower, then cut some felt out and glue that first then the pin) and then wrap yourself up and at the point of "wrap" pin the flower...I see a big sunflower or a peony. Well, it works in my head. Meaning the focal point will become the flower, not the bedsheet.

    I "defriended" a friend on FB for just this situation... she was on and on with her politics and I gagged on a daily basis. She wasn't really my friend, more a friend of a friend, but we had met several times. I was under the impression she wouldn't know I had done so, but I quickly found out she most certainly did. Then I had to see her the last time I went to visit, AND at a Happy Hour at HER house for pete's sake. Needless to say after lots of wine she confronted me and lucky for me I had prepared myself and told her, "Honey, don't worry about it, that was 2009, this is 2010 there is still time to get back into the inner circle." The entire room busted laughing and all was forgiven. Seriously, why are those who "speak out" about the offense the bad guys? Uh, no.

  11. I tried this earlier and was unsuccessful. I think. I can't remember because it's been hours since I visited and read your post from yesterday.
    I had a "friend" send a similar email and in my response I told her not to EVER send me that kind of stuff again. Then she apologized and sent some "how are you" thing. But we rarely have contact and a big part of our lack of contact is her chickenpluckin, pea-picken-backwoods 'tude about everything. I mean, she challenges men to fights in bars. I've only heard this not witnessed. But I have enough peapickinchickenpluckin backwoods folks that I have to put up with. ;-)

    I can't add any rationale idea to the shawl. But it's pretty.
    Thanks for your kind support on my recovery.

  12. Ouch, sorry about the toe. I have sensitive toenails on my big toes and wearing closed-in shoes just about kills me.

    By now, it sounds like you are okay with how you handled that stupid email. I do not like most forwards and recently, after getting my hand slapped at work for using the internet, I told all my co-workers to never, ever, send me personal emails - period. Most of them suck anyway.

    I like Shelley's idea of using fabric paint and rubber stamps. Or you could get a stencil and lightly sponge on some color in a design of your choosing (Michael's has good stuff). When I was a poor single mother of a 6 yr old, I painted on t-shirts and sold them at craft sales. I made a little extra dough, but it got old fast.

  13. Oh, I forgot one thing...I WISH I could be cold...ANYWHERE! I'm just the opposite - hot all the time if there's no air moving, like from a fan, etc. Must be the woman of a "certain age" thing. Maybe when I lose some of this insulation...

  14. stubbing of the behavioral variety? GENIUS concept.

    and Ive done that before.
    myriad times without having the gift of a name.

  15. Bet you don't get anymore political BS emails from anyone in that distribution list. It's a declared & defended boundary - no apologies required.

    You could fix that pashmina with a tie-dye job. Then it would go with everything!

    No tie dye? Maybe add some little mini-brooches - dragon flies, butterflies, turtles, birds, flowers - color coordinated with what ever outfit you have on underneath.

    I still like tie dye though.


We'll try this for a while.