Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I Have A Choice

It still amazes me how much choice I actually have in my life. I use to think that life just happened to me (and really only me) in such a way that required my full-blown, drama queen response. I didn't know that I had a choice in how I viewed or reacted to certain situations. How I chose to see things has changed over the years - thankfully. I am certainly not Zen over everything, and I am still a reactor, but much less so than before.

I had a glimpse back at my past today at the office. There is a woman with whom I've worked for a long time and quite like actually. She's a real go-to person. And today she threw a hissy-fit because another coworker moved a piece of paper and then couldn't remember where she moved it. She came into my office ranting and raving about how she would be so glad when she could retire and wouldn't have to put up with X anymore. And so on. I probably should have kept my mouth shut, but I did say that I hated to see her so upset over something that any number of people could have done. In truth, her behavior today is a good deal like mine has been in the past.

At work, we are in the midst of a chaotic remodel and move and there's not been much leadership exercised. I've made a decision that I do not have to jump into every leadership-vacuum and I do not have to lead every charge. I'll give other people the opportunity. When I do have to make decisions, I try to make them with the attitude that this is the best choice I know to make today, given the information that I have. Tomorrow, I may make a different choice. When I choose to view things in this manner, then when things do change, I am far less defensive and judgmental. And because of this strategy, I'm keeping my panties untwisted, while others drawers are pretty bunched up. This is much more comfortable.

And then it was 4pm and I got an email pointing out a problem that requires hours of my time to repair; but rather than put on a Lady MacBeth-ian performance, I just decided to go ahead and come home, eat, change clothes, get comfy, unlax for a few minutes, then go back up to the office and just knock it out.

So I just finished some nice grilled salmon and some oven-roasted brussels sprouts (set of the smoke alarm on that one). I'll enjoy the Diet Coke that I'm having (I'm still doing great with the cutting way, way back) and then I'll head back to the office, in the peace and quiet and knock this stuff out.

Unfortunately, this means no ride in the park tonight, but such is life. I did spend a bit of time on the treadmill today, so that will just have to suffice.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. In most cases, I can choose to stay above the fray.



  1. Funny how we can all have different reactions to the same problem, isn't it? You really do have to decide what is worth getting all worked up for.

    Love the growth that you are showing!

  2. Above the fray.
    Love the way you write.

  3. That is what I am trying to do. act, not react. You created your reality by setting things down and picking them back up when you were in the right frame of mind to do so. This way, you come at it from a positive frame of mind. funny, I was just on someone else's blog and you said your kind of a glass half empty person. These were the actions of a 'my glass is full, now let me fill yours up' type person.

    It's nice to read.

  4. That sounds like a good strategy to reduce defensiveness, I'll have to try that some time!
    Too bad to hear that you didn't get a chance to go to the park for a ride and relax, but at least working in a quiet office should be less stressful!

  5. I think, at least for me, it's an age thing. I'm finding myself 'reacting' less and less as I get older and wiser and making choices to not let small issues rock my world. It really is a better place to be.

    Hope you are blessed with an extra long ride for the one you had to miss!

  6. It is funny how people's "realities" can differ so much. I know that age has tempered me, like Helen said. I say that people make me crazy. I know that's not true. I always have a choice.


We'll try this for a while.