Friday, December 31, 2010

2010: The Final Weigh In


What I gained this year:

I gained an overall reduction in shame. That feeling that Dr. Brene Brown describes as that sickly, sticky red hot feeling that overtakes one. I have an overall reduction in shame. When I make a mistake at work, even a big one, I don't go directly to shame. Or if I do, it's just a quick trip, not something that I wallow around in.

I gained an increased knowing that I will be okay. No matter what happens. I will be okay. Things may be painful and hurtful, but hurt and pain will not kill me. Doing all kinds of machinations to avoid hurt and pain are far more devastating. The dread is worse than the actual event in 90 percent of the cases.

I gained experience in avoiding resentment building. Part of my character defects involve swooping in and fixing and then resentment when things inevitably do not go the way I'd like them to.

I gained another dollop of self-esteem. I gained some freedom from looking around and comparing myself to others. I gained freedom from having to put others down so that I can be more. I gained freedom from keeping score.

I gained a pound of self-confidence and it shows. I gained it in my eye contact, I gained it in my posture and I gained it my countenance.

I gained a measure of faith.

I gained an openness that replaces continues to replace my defensiveness.

I gained connections.

I gained greater insight into what makes me tick, and what adds fuel to the crazy thinking and what will nurture my soul and center me.

13 comments:

  1. I would say those gains are far more valuable than loss on the scale... Happy New Year Roxie!

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  2. Best. Weigh in. Ever.

    I've said it before but it bears repeating - I love your introspection...and I learn a lot from you. Happy New Year!

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing your year of gains with us!

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  4. Roxie, I have been so impressed with your determination these past many weeks. You are not just talking about it, you are making these things Priority One and really doing them. I will be thinking of you when I start my challenge tomorrow and know that my hard work will pay off. Just having that feeling of 'freedom' from inner turmoil is a priceless thing. Thank you, and have a Happy New Year.

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  5. I love it that you didn't even mention your weight. Wow. THe things you mention are so much more important than what the physical scale says. Thank you for sharing. I hope you won't mind if I steal the idea for my own "final weigh in."

    Take care and happy new year, Roxie!

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  6. Nicely done, Roxie. A toast to you...maybe the new year bring continued personal growth and strength. Rock on, sister.

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  7. Congratulations on some very important gains!

    Happy New Year, Roxie!

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  8. What a great way of looking at the world and of yourself. Happy 2011.

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  9. I am hoping to have a year much like yours...Have a happy New Year Roxie, you deserve it.

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  10. What a great list! All things that you can use to make 2011 the best year ever:)

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  11. And not least, Roxie, you gained the serious respect of a lot of us out here. Have a wonderful 2011 and see you in Istanbul for your 51st!

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We'll try this for a while.