Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Day Eleven of Twenty: Marathon Dreams
Day Eleven Tasks (Yep, I'm still following the program.)
Every day the wheel is reinvented in a thousand new ways.
Day 11 through 20 requires that you follow through with what you've started. Every day, evaluation and reevaulation. Every day, looking at what you want done and deciding to do it. Routine isn't boring; it's a tool that helps us track the thousands of details that require our attention. Routine helps us sustain our control over our actions and decisions. Routine helps us compare yesterday to today so we can continue to improve the process of our life; to make it meaningful and significant. Routine helps us document that we are successful, shows us our accomplishments, helps us plan for our future.
1. Take a bath or shower. Wear cologne, perfume, deodorant, floss and brush your teeth. Shave. Do nails, eyebrows, ears.
When you know you are clean and smell great, you feel better. Depressed people don't worry about how they look on the outside. They are consumed by their innerself. Change the outer and the inner will follow. Physical actions incite emotions. Stand like you look confident and you will feel confident.
Again, continue your morning routine without clothes. If you want changes, investigate diets or exercise programs that will help you achieve the changes you desire. Do you need to change? You need to keep you body healthy and if you health requires change, then you need to do it. Healthy is not the same as movie star beauty. Feeling like you need to change so your body looks like a brushed up photo on the cover of some film magazine is meaningless. Even the real stars don't look like that, so who cares. Work to accept and be comfortable with your body.
2. Bed made. Sheets washed. You deserve clean bedding.
3. Continue your daily list non productive activities. Look how much you are now getting done! You are absolutely an asset to the company. You should be very proud of the work that you contribute and integrity with which you make that contribution.
Continue working to eliminate non productive activities. You will find that you enjoy more things at work because of your increasing sense of accomplishment.
4. Take photos every day. Look how people light up when you give them copies for their desks or mantels.
5. Friend List
Soon some will respond. Don't expect all to respond. Bridges will be constructed. Your social life will soon be enhanced.
6. Continue the thank you notes as needed. You should now have trained yourself to find ways to thank people. You are hopefully now unconsciously watching for actions people do that are worth recognizing. You are now looking for the good people do; not the bad.
Continue to print copies and put in a folder.
7. Continue writing down and memorizing the names of new people. You are also doing some very important social and professional networking here. Always look in their eyes.
8. Keep your house in order. Make a schedule of the things you want to change.
9. Plan a specific monthly budget. Continue keeping receipts. It makes you acutely aware of where your money goes.
10. Continue finding ways to like everyone.
Again, it makes no difference to them. Only to you.
11. Put $1.25 in cash in a glass on your bedstand.
Stick with this schedule every day.
Dreamt I ran a marathon last night (or tried to) in blue jeans (wearing pantyhose underneath), no socks, a puffer coat and I was carrying something. I show up at this place and find out I have to run this marathon in order to get a key to a locker somewhere that has some of my valuable stuff in it. Oh, and part of the course ran through a museum, but once outside the course was no longer market. Okay, Amateur Dr. Freuds, what are your thoughts? HA!
I am taking a break from commenting (mostly). I find that my words have left me and my comments have become perfunctory, rather than what I'd like them to be. So rather than force it, I'll be spending a bit less time on the internets, concentrating instead on some of the evaluation suggestions from my little exercise. I hope to be back with renewed energy soon.
The sans clothing time has been interesting. I haven't decided whether out of sight - out of mind is really better. I don't have a body "image" problem, I have a body-ravaged-by-obesity problem. And it shows. So I don't know that visiting/concentrating on getting comfortable has done me that much good. I will say that I'm not so startled by how I look each day, so there is that level of comfort. But I really have to work on being accepting of the things I cannot change. There is still work to be done in getting to the point of not letting what I look like from the outside get too far inside my head. It will erode my confidence and stifle me.
This is part of the same larger issue of what-is-somebody-else-thinking-about-me? Which probably is not much. I'm using Bick as an example here and choosing to make my thoughts about him pretty much how everyone else sees things (save the "flabby ass" comment from an asshat in my past). Bick has gained weight recently. It's pretty common and it's not just a little bit. His pants just keep riding a little lower and lower. I know it, but it doesn't enter into how I feel about him at all. It's a non-issue. While I know this, somehow I don't SEE it when I see him. So I've decided that in my own private land of unicorns and rainbows and cute little kittens, that is exaclty how everyone else looks at things and so I can cut myself a break. I don't know that this round-about method of acceptance and serenity is the most healthy, but I'm working with what I've got here.
I will say, that I have not been washing my sheets daily. Once a week is enough! I still stink at taking pictures and perhaps I will try to add that when it doesn't feel quite so intrusive. The holidays would be a good time to take more pictures!
I will also cop to being a petty bitch. Yesterday was an office birthday breakfast celebration. Everyone, save the celebrants, signs up to bring something. So I signed up to bring an egg casserole because I wanted something moderately healthy to eat. I'd loaded it up with veggies, ran the recipe calorie count and it was reasonable. Everyone else signed up to bring sausage rolls, doughnuts, kolaches, cinnamon rolls, etc. One other person brought fruit. We put our stuff out buffet style. I got called away to a phone call and by the time I got back, all MY stuff was gone. Pissed me right off. Yes, I got plenty of compliments on how good it was, but still. I'm left with all of the crap, as my dish and the fruit was gone. If you are going to bring crap like that, then stick to eating it. And no, one sausage roll isn't going to kill me, but I always have a problem with just one of anything.
So eating yesterday wasn't the best, but I made it to the gym twice yesterday and ate light in the evening. Today promises to be a long day, with dinner brought in on the office's nickel. Luckily for me, I'm in charge of the food, so we are getting food from a place where I know I can get some decent options.
I've got three Christmas activities planned with my mother and sister over the next week and I'm looking forward to that. I hope we can make some new traditions that don't involve lots of gifting. Maybe if I offer this as a viable alternative, things can change. I hope I'm not venturing into the "trying to control" territory.
Still haven't heard back from the insurance company. I submitted copies of the bids showing that I can't get the work done for what they'd offered. If I haven't heard back by Friday, then more follow-up calls will be required.
That's all the news from Cornfield County.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Offer encouragement.