Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Is This What They Mean By Intuitive Eating?


Is this intuitive eating?

I've never followed this trend or style because I have never, ever trusted myself around food. Too many times when faced with eating what I want, what I wanted was everything and a lot of it. In my past, I have eaten food that I don't even like just for the sake of eating. I am not saying that I have turned any corners or anything, but a couple of things have happened recently that have never happened before.

In the past couple of months, I have been altering my eating style a bit - allowing a few more grain-based carbs, having an ice cream treat (or seven). Just seeing what it feels like to be at this weight that I have decided to call goal/ideal. It will remain to be seen if it is sustainable. So far, so good.

Now I have had "food funerals" in the past - threw something away, put it down the drain, to keep my self from over eating. I've used that strategy in the past to prevent me from eating food I still WANTED.

The past couple of incidents were/are different:

1. I wanted a Wendy's Frosty and some French Fries. So I ordered them. And I ate a bit of each and it was enough. It was like. Okay, I've had what I wanted and I am satisfied. And just threw the remainder away. I didn't want anymore. I NEVER don't want more.

2. I'm hosting a coffee/dessert gathering at my home Thursday night after the movie outing and am still thinking about what to serve that will be easy/good/strategic given my space limitations/etc (and yes, I obviously obsess too much about this kind of stuff). There is new little gourmet ice cream sandwich shop right next to the theatre. You go in and choose from a dozen varieties of fresh-baked cookies and a dozen or so flavors of Blue Bell Ice Cream. I had this brilliant idea that I could pre-order/pre-pay and have them ready for pick up on the walk back to my apartment from the theatre. I was really excited about this and decided to try one out last night. And so I chose an oatmeal toffee cookie, a chocolate coconut cookie for my sandwich and old-fashioned vanilla as my ice cream. And I didn't love it. I mean it was okay, but it wasn't great and wonder of wonders, I just dropped it down the disposal. No pep talks, no inner discussions. I just thought "this isn't good" and I threw it away. Not so that I wouldn't eat it, but because I didn't want it. Say it with me again - I didn't want it. I didn't want it. I didn't want it.

We Have Lift-Off

I got out of work yesterday and there was NO RAIN. The temps had dropped to the mid-to-upper 70's - the perfect evening to take Cha-Cha out for a spin. Yea, I had a bunch of other stuff to do, but getting in a ride was the most important.

So I got home, dinked around for just a bit, geared up and got Clementine out of bed. As I was crossing the catwalk to get to the elevator, I looked into the courtyard and saw that it was raining. Oh, crap. But I went anyway. I decided just doodle through the park in case it got to really pouring or if lightening started - the park is very close to home. So off I went. The rain quit and went on ahead and did a ten mile loop.

Let me just say this - I f'n LOVE my thighs. LOVE THEM. Shocking, I know. It is to me, too. For all my entire life, I've hated my thighs - my thunder thighs. I hated them until I started cycling. There is something about that first full leg stroke down in the parking garage where the power in my legs, through the magic of muscle, physics and gear ratios, transfers itself to Ms. Peddleford and we are OFF. Like a sprinter! I've endured a lot of exercise in my time. A lot! And yes, there is a great deal of satisfaction to have completed some task/mission/milestone. Been there, done that. But I have never experienced JOY while doing it. As I was talking with Tena the other day - there is such a feeling of power and lightness and "WHEEEEEE" when cycling. So much so, that it has made me love my thighs. I no longer have "thunder thighs", I have f'n ROCKET BOOSTERS!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get yourself a rocket.

-Roxie
141.5

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Tuesday To Do Challenge

I have not made any real progress on my Tuesday To Do challenge. I did contact an insurance agent regarding some policy stuff, but he wants me to come in and talk. I think I'll respond and ask for more info via email. I will try to get one other business thing accomplished by week's end.

It rained last night, so doodling in the park with Clementine was out of the question. I did get my grocery shopping done and other errands done and I did get my workout clothes on, but never made it to the gym. Too much to do around The Closet. I was planning on attending pub trivia tonight, but I don't really have time. Tomorrow night is dinner with Sandy and Thursday night, I'm shoe-horning 10-12 people into The Closet for coffee and dessert following TS3D. And these are work people! Including my boss! I've borrowed more coffee cups, bought paper dessert plates and now I just need to powder and fluff. Clementine is back on her side of the bed and I've got out the folding chairs and the TV trays.

Inviting people into my home wasn't always easy for me. Hell, I spent decades not doing it at all. Residual shame, I guess. I finally had to sit myself down and give myself a talking to about what it was like to visit other peoples' homes. Did I wander around with white gloves on? Did I inspect every nook and cranny? Did I make judgments? Hell no. I went and visited and in some cases, drank coffee out of a chipped mug. It was about the people and the company, not the "finery" of the house. Clean(ish) is good enough. I don't have to impress anyone. Not that I was ever trying to impress, I just had this deep-seated notion that I was some how not good enough. That no one would even want to see me. All stupid human head tricks.



So I am continuing to actively work my way through those things, as I genuinely enjoy having company. I'm trying to do my part in restoring the "coffee company" tradition - which has gone the way of, well, the coffee klatch. No big fizz, just drop in for coffee and dessert. I don't have to bust out the origami swans. It can just be casual and easy-breezy and no one will judge. Oh hell, they might judge, but I probably don't care much for those folks anyway.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Entertain.

-Roxie
141

Monday, June 28, 2010

Barking Up The Wrong Tree


Barking Up The Wrong Tree

This weekend held some interesting conundrums for me – this time with Pebbles. There were a couple of issues floating around that required some getting real and getting honest about my part in it.

The easy one – Pebbles asked me to keep TGB over the 4th while she and Slater go to Tulsa to be with his family. I said I would think about it and respond on Monday (today). Score one for me – putting some time and thought into making a decision – no reacting! There are several truths that I have to get honest about here. I do not love spending time with TGB. It is a lot of work – especially at The Closet. And even though I think of myself as a dog lover, I’ve discovered that it is not universal. I don’t really like TGB and don’t like to be around him much – he’s got a lot of issues, behaviorally and otherwise. It is much easier to deal with TGB at Bick’s, so I asked Bick how he felt about having me and TGB for the long holiday weekend and he declined. Said it wouldn’t be like much of a vacation with TGB there the whole time and I completely agree. Said he would be fine with him there for a day, but not three.

And then I asked myself why do I do this? Well, I like to make my daughter happy. I like to do things for her. Also, I’ve completely bought in to their RTW trip thingy and I’m doing my part. They are doing everything they can to save money to fund this big adventure. So spending dollars to board the dog isn’t getting them any closer to their goal. But wait - neither is buying new iPhones for the both of them. And yes, they bought two extras and sold them for a profit, but that profit went into two new snowboards. Throttle down. I’m not upset. It is their money; it is their life. I, however, no longer feel any compunction to do something that I don’t really want to do in order to save them the money. It was enlightening to realize that I had grabbed up this notion of theirs, adopted it as mine and was leading the charge. It’s amazing how I can get caught up in other peoples’ business and not even realize it. I am very happy to recognize this at this point before it became an exercise in resentment-building. I didn’t have to decline, as she decided not to go, instead she is going to tackle another issue. See below.

The stickier one – In an effort to afford the aforementioned adventure, they have decided to sell his unpaid for, expensive vehicle, buy a beater and use it and her paid for car. I suggested that before buying a beater, she could ask her Grandmother if she can use one of her extra vehicles for the next year. It just sits there, as they now have 4 vehicles between the two of them. This particular vehicle is in my name, as I bought and paid for it. It wasn’t supposed to be a gift, as Mom was supposed to make the payments, but made probably three but fewer than 6 payments on the new vehicle and stopped paying and I just kept paying the car note, rather than take it back/sell it. If I were a betting woman, given my Mom’s complicated feelings towards Pebbles, she will decline. My initial response to this was that I would step in and make this work, ie, I bought the car, it is in my name and it is just sitting there, if Pebbles wants to use it, she should be able to, etc.

Upon further reflection, while that is what I would like to have happen, it’s none of my business. I bought that car for my Mother and it is hers to do with as she pleases. I know what I think would be the right thing for her to do, but it is not my call and it is not my place to get in the middle of this. The issue will be between the two adults and is not mine to resolve. I do, however, need to get it out of my name.

I drove MalibuKen today and will take care of my grocery shopping on the way home. Then I’m hoping to break out Cha-Cha for a little doodle in the park after it cools down some. I’ve missed her!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Examine your motivations.

-Roxie
143.5

Watermelon, Watermelon, Watermelon Rind

What a beautiful surprise awaited my return from Houston. My bag from Leslie had arrived! Leslie most know postal workers with special powers to get it here so fast. Pictures do not do it justice - it is beyond adorable! And will match beautifully with the color that I'm wearing a lot of this summer. Leslie, thank you so much for sharing your amazing talents with the untalented masses. I shall cherish this bag.

Our trip to Houston was indeed bountiful. I had never seen watermelons being harvested straight out of the fields, but that's what was happening outside of Navasota. I went with Bick to Houston to visit his mother. She had a leather loveseat to give to him, as it just didn't fit into her new house - score one for Bick! Plus, it was time for them to visit. She is incredibly happy that he has made the decision to get sober - even at 87, I guess you never quit being a mother. They had a lovely time together. It was wonderful to see.



And speaking of wonderful to see - I got to meet Tena and she is just as you'd imagine - Warm, witty, wonderful and beautiful! We chattered like squirrels, swapping stories, our mutual love of cycling and more than a few laughs. After trying our hand at self-portraits, I accosted a motorcycle rider outside the restaurant to take pictures with both our cameras, but with my camera at least, it was a FAIL. So what you get is our self-portrait - a fabu picture of Tena and a very shar-pei picture of me! Real life meetings are wonderful and both Tena and I think we should schedule a Cycling Summit in Houston in the fall/winter! Thanks, Tena. Oh, and if you meet Tena in real life, let her pick the restaurant. She knows the good ones!


Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Life is juicy - eat it up!

-Roxie
143.5

Friday, June 25, 2010

Charting The Course

Thanks to a recommendation from my fab friend Meg, I get Notes From The Universe. Today's note was this:

With self-confidence, Roxie, the world bows to greet you and coincidence becomes your partner.

And self-confidence comes from loving yourself.

And loving yourself comes from knowing that you are, still, exactly who I most want to be.
And so I am,
The Universe



Most of here in the weight-loss/get-healthy/get-on-with-your-life community are used to charting our weight loss, our exercise, our calories, our carbs, our size, our measurements, our hot fudge sundaes. What we don't track is probably the most important factor of all - our self-confidence. And not as a reflection of our gains/losses, but in how we feel about ourselves and our abilities. I've been this size before, about four years ago, but I didn't have THIS level of self-confidence. For years, I told myself that all my problems were on my ass. Not so, Grasshopper.

My problems were in my head and how I really felt about me. When I started (still in progress) getting my head right, my ass began to follow. And in the meantime, I gained a little peace, a little serenity, and more assurance from inside that I would be okay.

How do you measure your self-confidence? How has it grown on this journey? What are you doing to actively grow it? Most of us have a general plan for shrinking our backsides - do we have a plan for growing our confidence?

I'd love to hear yours!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Grow your own.

-Roxie
143

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I Scream

I scream for ice cream. I've been answering the siren call of hot fudge sundaes and ice cream over the last couple of days. In a really bad way. What the hell! I actually know what the hell - lack of planning proper, filling and nutritionally balanced meals have left me trying to fill the void, and boy, have I.

The deal with the ice cream is stupid, really. Ice cream doesn't set well with me. It makes my innards bounce around and sound like a big kettle drum. Now why in the world would a person do that to herself, knowing the consequences. Okay, the first time, maybe; but after that? Idiocy.

The month of June is almost over and I can get back to my routine (she said hopefully). Of course, I could choose to keep things much closer to my normal routine that I have been. I could have made better choices. And I still can.

Starting now.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Put your inner-brat in time out.

-Roxie
141

Purple Pride

I am full of Purple Pride this morning. NSFW - Bad Language - Turn down your volume.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Stubbed My Toe


Not literally. But my toe did hurt while in down dog yesterday. It may be time for another pedicure. I have really weird toes that are prone to ingrowns and I have to watch it. Sometimes, I cannot even stand to have the weight of a sheet across the tops of my toes.

No, my stubbing was more of the behavioral variety. I was going along and having a good day and I made a decision that has made me uneasy. A work friend forwarded to me and several other co-workers (as URGENT) a "Joke" email that I found offensive. I chose to do a REPLY ALL and said:

Please do not forward to me any thing with political content. Obviously, our politics and views are very different and I wouldn't want that to interfere with our friendship.

I do believe that silence implies compliance, but I now wish that I hadn't done the reply all. And now I need to decide if I owe an apology.

In other news, I need some creative advice. Backstory - if I am vertical, then I am cold. I am cold in cars, I am cold in offices, I am cold in movie theatres and I am cold at home. Doesn't matter what the ambient temperature is, I am cold. If you see me riding shotgun in Bick's truck, I will be wrapped in an Eddie Bauer fleece blanket that stays in his truck for just that purpose. If you have to ride with me, you will see that I will attempt to make you comfortable, but I will shut off all vents on my side of MalibuKen. Being cold is one thing, having cold air BLOWING on me turns me into a rat-tailed bitch. So I am fond of the pashmina. I have a variety of them and I adore them. I bought a summer shawl this weekend. I found it at World Market - just a plain white sari/wrap/pashmina with fringed edges. It's light and white and will go with everything. Great, no? No. I look like I'm wrapped up in a bed sheet. It's too white. So here's the creative question - I want to doll this wrap up - by enhancing it in some way. These enhancements need to be something that can be added one at a time - I don't want this to turn into some project that I don't complete and can't use. No, the wrap needs to be usable while in process. And it needs to be remain washable and not have things fade on it. Okay, put on your thinking caps and give me some ideas to doll up my summer wrap! Buttons? Appliques? Pantiliners?

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Beware of cold shoulders.

-Roxie
141

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Running The Numbers: Taking The Fifth


Sometimes I just need to be distracted from eating, thinking, ruminating, obsessing on whatever is bring me down. That being said, the distraction shouldn't be destructive - first, do no harm. I don't want to turn to food if I'm obsessing and I don't want to turn to excessive shopping to distract myself from over-eating. I don't want to acquire "stuff", so recreation shopping isn't an answer - it creates clutter AND reduces your finances. We all need financial freedom and power in our lives. There are, however, ways to spend a little something on an item that is actually useful, so I've included those here. Here is Part The Fifth:

41. Pluck. Whatever needs plucking. As a woman of a "certain age", there is a lot of surface area that now needs tending. Personally, I find the whole lighted magnifying mirrors to be a tool of Satan, or perhaps that is Satan in the mirror cause I sure as hell don't recognize it/her. Instead, I rely upon the kindness of strangers, er, I mean my daughter and sister who still have eyesight to give me the once-over. Any strays? Otherwise, I go to the salon for "the works". This could be a full-time job.

42. Polish your shoes. Wash your laces. Just spruce up your footwear a bit.

43. Oil Chair. I have a leather chair that requires oiling/polishing a couple of times a year so that it doesn't dry out. If this doesn't apply to you, then take a lint brush to your upholstered furniture. Or not.

44. Iron. Yep, drag out the ironing board. Get some good spray starch and iron. If you are feeling especially froggy, starch and iron your sheets. I ADORE sleeping on freshly starched and iron sheets. Yea, I am sort of a princess.

45. Repair your clothes. Go get that favorite shirt and sew on that missing button. That coat that you love, but you don't wear because the bottom seam of the pocket is ripped out? Sit down with a needle and thread and put all of this stuff back in good working order. Or to change the look of something? Replace ALL the buttons with new ones.

46. Rearrange your closet. Go through and look at everything. Fix, repair, iron, donate, tailor what needs tailoring. The goal here is to have your closet create a sense of order and design. It shouldn't scare you to open it.

47. Go to a Park, state or otherwise. Get in the car, on the bus, on your bike and go to a park. Take your camera, a book, a lunch and just spend some time under a shade tree or get a little vitamin D, depending upon your preferences. The change will do you good.

48. Color your roots. You are probably overdue. Put on your glasses and take a look. If you are rootless, I applaud you. I'm still toying with the decision to go au-naturele, but not right now. That Miss Clairol root brush thingy is just TOO easy to use. I'll go grey another day.


49.
Go to a Museum. Even if it is the big balll of string museum. Even if you hate modern art - especially if you hate modern art. Go admire the space, even if you can't admire the works themselves.

50. Buy fresh flowers. Many urban areas now have flower markets. And there is always Kroger! Doesn't have to be an armload bouquet, just a few gerber daisies always pick me right up.

Rode out to the park for a "doodle" - ride with no particular destination. As for the curb jumping, I am obviously not there yet, don't know that I ever will be. Let's say I'm still working on mastering jumping twigs. It appears to be a matter of shifting weight far back in the saddle and getting the timing/tension right with a leg stroke and rearing back on the front end (like you were trying to pop a whealie). I'm just experimenting with riding, taking turns and weight shifting. Trying to get more comfortable on the bike. I am assuming that my riding experience is very different from most of the rest of the internet biking gang, as Clementine Cha-Cha Peddleford is a mountain bike. Or at least of that ilk - she has those shock-absorby things on her forks and nubby tires.

Fixed a great, spicy "clean out the fridge" vegetable soup last night. Lots of herbs and spices - I brought some today to have with my Big Ass Spinach/Vegetable Salad.

And in news that will turn you all green with envy, I am having dinner with the ever-fabulous Tena on Saturday night. I will be in her town and we are doing a real-life meet up. I'm very excited!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get comfortable.

-Roxie
141

Monday, June 21, 2010

“And no one thought to stop her.”


My darling sister, my darling daughter and I were sitting at the fabu pizza place in Dallas on Friday when Pebbles noticed my “sports injury”. My shirt sleeve had crept up, revealing the edge of the Ace bandage. Luckily, the pantiliner was staying put. Those wing thingies cling to the elastic wrap really well! My sister knew what had happened and had laughed her butt off, both at the story and at my chosen method of bandaging it up. I actually did buy proper Band-Aid brand bandages, but they were still too small and did not have enough flexibility to properly cover the wounded area, so I stuck with the pantiliner.

Cut back to the pizza joint…

“What the hell happened to your arm?”

Sister said, “Ya, tell her what happened to your arm!”

I launched into my story about crossing the railroad tracks and trying to teach myself to jump curbs and not having enough speed and momentum to clear the track, catching the tire and going off the high side.

Sister added, “Now tell her what’s under there!”

So I told the story of the pantiliner, Neosporin and the Ace Bandage.

“Mother, you are going to kill yourself!”

“Yes, but she will be amusing in the process.”

“I guess I can have that engraved on her urn = She was amusing in the process. And no one thought to stop her.”


Weekend was good. Another shorter ride on Saturday – it was later in the day that normal, so I just stayed in the park and just rode around the loop, the roads and the parking lots. I’m going to call those kinds of rides a “doodle”, as I just sort of doodled my way through an hour plus ride. It was wonderful. I saw a bunch of people getting kayak lessons on the river and that looked really cool. It was a good day.

Headed up to Bick’s to see how his day went. Turned out about as well as could be expected. She was released on PR, which is odd given that she was also charged with a failure to appear. A $50 speeding ticket has now morphed into fines totaling $880. Sigh. He did not pay her fines, but did spring for the $120 to get her car out. She will have to go back before the jp and work out a payment plan. While he was obviously irritated/disappointed, my understanding is that he handled himself well. Powerless over people and all that.

Sister is off in Dallas this morning for jury duty. The hilarious text messages have stopped, so I am assuming she in some sort of session.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Civics matters.

-Roxie
142

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Making Mid-course Adjustments


My plans was to do another bike ride this morning, but my legs said "No, No, No". Yesterday's ride was really good, but I did really push myself. So, I listened to both my legs and the rest of my body and went back to bed! I almost never do that. And even more rare is for me to actually go back to sleep, but it happened.

I was awoke by a phone call from Bick, telling me that Sandy is in jail. Traffic tickets, unpaid, warrants for FTA. He was planning on taking her on a trip, instead he will be using that money to bail her out today. He's handling it pretty well, said he plans on telling her this was her one get out of jail free card. I hope that she begins to get her life together. She dropped out/flunked out of school again this spring. All unfortunate.

She cannot make theatre night, as she is working for someone else that shift, but we are going to that Italian dinner the next weekend.

As expected, Sis and I had a great time yesterday. Pebbles met up with us in Dallas and we went back for some more of that great pizza. Yummy! I am feeling better about my part in this. On Monday, she's on her own. She is very stressed about not getting paid while on jury duty, but I did not jump in on that issue. People change at the rate of pain. I cannot fix it.

I do want to get in some form of exercise today - I imagine I'll hit the bike. I think my legs can deal with 5 miles. I'd love to hit the 100 mile mark today. But we'll see. The Closet looks like a wreck and I've got a few errands to run.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Recover.

-Roxie
139.5

Friday, June 18, 2010

Summoned

My sister does not drive on freeways or even some busy highways. She goes very few places and those are mostly via residential surface roads. She doesn't appear to be bothered by this.

She has been called for federal jury duty, which happens in Big D on Monday. Since she won't drive there, I offered to show her how to get there by train. Despite having grown up here, I can count on one hand the number of times she's even been to Dallas. So today, I'm taking off of work (she has Friday's off) and we are going to ride the bus and then the train to get to Dallas. And I think that I am in enabling mode. That's the hard part of all of this for me - especially where she is concerned. I keep getting tied to the outcomes and thinking that if I show her how to do these things that she will assert herself a little more. But I am really just fooling myself here. This was a perfect opportunity for the LAW to tell her she needed to get out of her comfort zone and I took that away from her.

While I am looking forward to spending the day with her - I'm sure we will have a blast - I've been assessing my part in these kinds of situations and all the other times that I've behaved like this. It hit me like a ton of bricks this morning that when she called asking for advice, instead of offering to go and show, I should have just sent her the information. I've blown an opportunity here. I am further enabling this learned helplessness, this victim mentality. Shit. I'm jumping back into the fray yet again. Double Shit.

I'm taking off on Cha-Cha for a long bike ride this morning as soon as the sun makes an appearance. I am looking forward to that. Or I could take an inaugural pass at loading Cha-Cha on the bus bike rack and bussing out somewhere and then riding back. You know, I hadn't really thought about that, but I could just haul Cha-Cha on the bus to work and then RIDE home. Now there is food for thought.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. But not TOO kind.

-Roxie
139.5

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Home Grown Tomatoes

I'm enjoying lots of garden fresh vegetables and herbs these days, thanks to Bick, my sister and coworkers. I'm still doing my egg white omelet most mornings, but these days it is chockful of fresh veggies. I'm still doing the big-ass spinach salad at lunch, but it was more of a chopped vegetable salad with spinach on the side these days. I'm feeling really good about getting in my veg for the day - probably better than I have at any point in my life. Offerings include Home Grown Tomatoes, cucumbers, dill, basil, oregano, thyme, peppers, peaches, plums, and the ubiquitous squash.

My spritzer is still working great - so far, so good.

Tonight is a meeting, followed by a quick trip to the store for coffee. I've added back a single cup in the morning, which is the one that I really enjoy - law of diminishing returns and all. I've got no plans for Friday - I may try to sneak in TS3, which might be impossible. Or I could just go for another quick loopy ride, but I want to have good legs for Saturday's ride. Other than that, I've got nothing.

Well, that's not true. I've got a "yoga on the lawn" activity on my calendar for Sunday. It's billed as 108 Sun Salutations on the lawn at 4:00 in the afternoon. Might give Bikram a run for the money in terms of HOT! I don't know if I will be feeling that froggy.

I've bought some tickets to the local Shakespeare festival's production next week and have invited Sandy. I haven't heard from her in a while - she's of the arty-type, and I thought she might enjoy this. I'll go whether she joins me or not. I probably won't go out for the Italian Food that I promised her, however. I have had a gnawing and a craving for butter chicken since reading this. I could take myself out for some yummy Indian food on Friday - now that sounds like a plan!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Eat well.

-Roxie
139.5

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Running The Numbers: Part The Fourth


Sometimes I just need to be distracted from eating, thinking, ruminating, obsessing on whatever is bring me down. That being said, the distraction shouldn't be destructive - first, do no harm. I don't want to turn to food if I'm obsessing and I don't want to turn to excessive shopping to distract myself from over-eating. I don't want to acquire "stuff", so recreation shopping isn't an answer - it creates clutter AND reduces your finances. We all need financial freedom and power in our lives. There are, however, ways to spend a little something on an item that is actually useful, so I've included those here. Here is Part The Fourth:

31. Chop up your vegetables for the upcoming week. It will make food prep so much easier (and healthier)!

32. Buy the Sunday New York Times - one of my favorite cheap treats.

33. Attend Open Houses - it's a free opportunity to be a nosey parker!

34. Write out your gratitudes. There is something to be grateful for. Really.

35. Create an activity calendar. Scour the newspapers/internet/library bulletin boards to find interesting/free/cheap events to attend. Create a calendar. I use the one in Google and whenever I run across something interesting, I put in on that calendar. Try to always have something to look forward to. Oh, and you can go by yourself. It won't kill you. Trust me on this. People don't look at you strangely - and if they do, all they are really thinking is "look at that self-assured, interesting woman". Honestly.

36. Take up a craft. I haven't completely given up on knitting. I just need to find a way to make it more social. Lots of people in meetings are knitters. I might try to combine the two.

37. Watch a movie that you find inspiring. There are occassions that call for Beaches, but I find those times are very few! I like things that are fun and inspiring - these days, Calendar Girls fits my bill.

38. Give yourself a pedicure. Summer is here. Get your feet in sandal shape. And don't do some slap-dash swipe with some polish - put on your glasses and do it right (not that I am speaking from personal experience or anything).

39. Go to the card store/dollar store and buy a year's worth of birthday cards. Have fun picking out great cards for the people in your life. Put them somewhere where you will find them again! (Not that I know this from personal experience, either).

40. Consolidate travel. Okay, so this was number forty on my list and I have not a clue what it is supposed to mean. I'm sure I thought it was brilliant when I jotted it down in my handy-dandy notebook, but now I am at a loss. Does it mean optimize your errands for the week? Surely I wouldn't call that travel. Feel free to use your own imagination on this one.

No exercise last night. I was busy trying to install the window boxes that Bick bought me. He bought me the boxes, complete with dirt and herbs and the brackets to go with. Unfortunately, the brackets are for traditional decking edges and not the channel iron that my non-balcony is made of. Another trip to the home improvement store is in the offing.


Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Exfoliate.


-Roxie
140

Photo Credit and Instructions

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

As I Contemplate Walking

Walking has been on my mind a good deal recently. A friend was asking me about how I was adjusting to city life and I found myself telling her that I found the life much more simple and much more contemplative. I am walking much more and more "present", if that makes any sense. While my yoga and meditation practices have lessened, I still feel like I'm practicing daily and I attribute those feelings of "centeredness" to my walking around more - being on the ground and in the present. While I'm not advocating giving up cars, as I have fallen in love with MalibuKen, I do think that there is something that keeps life (for me) a bit more real than driving around in a pod. My life seems a bit more deliberate these days. I do know that there are certainly other factors at play, but citylife = simplerlife for me.

Walking is also benefiting me just in the caloric burn of moving around more. I'm less static these days. I try to structure my life such that I need to walk to the store every couple of days for something. Yes, I could make one big trip in MalibuKen and stock up for a month, but that keeps me from moving, keeps me off the streets, keeps me on the couch, keeps me isolated. It really is a shift in lifestyle and one that provides me with some interesting and unexpected benefits.

I was listening to Dr. James Levine, author of Move A Little, Lose A Lot who had some interesting things to say about just interjecting more movement in our everyday life, and not necessarily in the form of exercise. It would be interesting to see just how much more activity we could create in our lives if we practiced his suggestions with some conviction.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Practice Walking as a Lifestyle.

-Roxie
141.5

Monday, June 14, 2010

A Pantiliner and an Ace Bandage


I went out for a stress-busting after work ride and I ended up busting my ass. I was taking my beloved loop in the reverse direction and my front tire caught on the train tracks and I went over the high side. I'm okay, but I spent the evening picking gravel bits out of my elbow. The Closet has no real first aid supplies, so right now, I'm treating my wounds with some pain-relieving antibiotic ointment, a pantiliner and an Ace Bandage. It's rather ouchy. Oh, and I took a couple of Aleve. I did however, finish my ride.

Sunday In The Park with Cha-Cha



Lovely, lovely weekend. I went on a bike ride both mornings - neither for longer than I usually do, but fabulous all the same. Sunday's ride was especially nice. I stuck really close to home and just rode this awesome loop in the park five or six times. I got a much later start and was worried about being out in the heat, but a good part of this particular loop is through the trees and is completely shaded. It's also a bit of downhill, twisty, and over a couple of bridges. While the wind was wicked when I was on the open part of the loop, when it was washing over me while I was in the trees, it was a cool breeze. Pretty awesome. I spent some time out of the saddle doing sprints which was great fun, as well.

Slater and Pebbles came over for a Costco run on Saturday and brought me some of Pebbles' bacon, sun-dried tomato and leek quiche, complete with homemade crust - also complete with accidental home-churned butter. She tells me that homemade butter is what happens when you ask your husband to whip some cream for some berries! While Slater was over, he brought his floor pump and aired up Cha-Cha's tires.

I've decided to to try and ride more during the week. With the discovery of this loop that is at least half in the shade, I can ride in the evenings even when the temp is up if I don't have to spend the entire time out in the blazing sun. Clementine "Cha-Cha" Peddleford is normally garaged on the off-side of the bed. Given the size of The Closet, for Cha-Cha to go to bed, I have to lift her up and put her tires on the footboard and roll her across the bed. And because I'm so lazy, I'd die if drawing a breath didn't come naturally, leaving Cha-Cha out in the living room unless there is company makes it easier for my just to take an evening ride.

Had a wonderful evening on Saturday night. Bick and I went out to the Poolville Pagans for a wonderful gathering and cookout. It was really our first outing in a larger group social setting and I cannot say how much I enjoyed just being able to relax and not worry when/if things would go off the rails. And it was nice on Sunday morning not to wake up and cringe.

I also made a quick trip out to Reata South to see my Mom and sister yesterday. It is still very important to me to have a good relationship with my family. I was doing some program reading yesterday about willingness. I don't have to have all the answers today, I just have to be willing. So yesterday, I was willing. I'd picked up a small gift for my sister - something she's mentioned she wanted - and so I called and went out there. There is a part of this whole deal that is has an element of comedy to it. Some months ago, I was asked to finance the "farm truck" - which I've since learned is a 3/4 ton diesel dually - and I declined stating that I didn't want our finances entangled any more than they already were. Shitstorm ensued. Other methods were found to get said farm truck. But neither have admitted to me that she actually bought the truck and so they park it at the neighbors whenever I come around. I don't have any real clarity on how to let them know that my sister's boss (my dentist) spilled the beans by asking me if my sister had let me drive the "monster truck". Oh well.

Workman and chaos are reigning at the workplace today. I'm sure it's only a matter of time until the power gets cut!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Find some shade.


-Roxie
141

Photo Credit

Saturday, June 12, 2010

When Life Hands You Lemons



You'd better hope life hands you some sugar as well or else your lemonade is going to suck!

Today isn't going like I planned. First of all, I overslept. Actually, oversleeping for me is a good thing, but it did knock about an hour off my planned ride this morning. But hey, it was still a good ride. I do think that Cha-Cha's front tire needs a bit of air, so one of my tasks today is to figure out how to deal with that.

Seriously, I am a complete newbie at all this biking stuff. Yes, I had bicycles growing up, but I lived on gravel roads and they weren't mountain bikes and so I've got no experience with any of this. Luckily, Slater has got some skills in this area, so I can get some hands on advice. Do you riders have pumps? Are there air pressure gauges for bicycles? If so, what's an appropriate PSI for bikes?

This morning's ride was tough. Number one, I don't feel great. I ate like crap yesterday. It was a stressful, stressing day on top of a rollercoastery week. I walked into the office and the moving crew! was there to start the remodel. Yes, I knew there was to be a remodel but it was supposed to start next week, according to my boss, who was now conveniently out of the state on a golf trip. So we were scrambling to get packed and call the locksmith, phone line people, the computer people and the modular office furniture people. With a chain saw! Yesterday was also a major milestone day with this HUGE project I'm dealing with at work. I was downing M&Ms yesterday like they were snake bite anti-venom....Sheesh.... So back to this morning's ride - the head wind was 20 mph, but it felt like more, for sure. Oh, and I scrapped my arm against a chainlink fence trying to get out of the way of a cycling family. I managed to stay upright, but I've got road rash on my forearm. With all this bitching, you'd think I didn't have a good time. Actually, it was a great time. I did my out and back and was still having such a good time, I rode some more!

And because I've been neglecting MalibuKen, he gets a bath, a vacuum and a bit of detailing today. I've been invited out to the Poolville Pagans for a gathering this evening, so I'm off to prepare a hostess gift - which I'm looking forward to. I'm thinking it will have a lemon theme. When they were over here last week, I served an iced lemon Italian soda that they both commented on. I think I'll get them a bottle of that, and perhaps some blueberry scones and lemon curd. Then I'll get my Martha on and figure out how to present it, because that's the fun part!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Adjust your pressure.

-Roxie

Friday, June 11, 2010

And When We Were Wrong

You really don't want to be me when you grow up. I can be a bad tempered, acid-tongued, throwing things, cut-up-my-ex's-clothes rager. In my past, this was a pretty serious issue for me to overcome. I've got a hair-trigger temper. It rarely flares anymore and I've worked pretty hard at overcoming this. My reaction to these types of triggers is to move away from them as rapidly as possible and not to engage into a situation where I might say or do something that I regret. That's been a pretty good strategy, but it is not fool-proof. And it tripped me up this week. Couple my sometimes bad temper with my amazing ability to leap to conclusions and you basically have me throwing a tantrum.

So when the text message came in declining the lunch invite as I was sitting in church, I read the first lines, got SUPREMELY pissed off and deleted the text. Because I was so angry, I shut off my phone and I kept it off for two days. What I read from the decline was that spending time with me wasn't a priority, that while he was willing to drive across hell and half of Texas, spend time, vacation time and money to sit with a friend for a week, he wasn't willing to drive 35 minutes and go to a vegan restaurant with me and some of his friends.

What he really said and what I didn't read, was that he wasn't interested in going to the restaurant, but would meet up with us afterward and would I call him to let him know when and where? Puts things in a different light, no?

Now as for the other conclusions I drew, those are pretty valid. Most active alcoholics, by their very nature, are a pretty self-centered bunch. I also came to realize that if I wasn't getting all I wanted out of the relationship, it's because I wasn't asking for it.

He asked for an opportunity to make amends and I told him what I needed moving forward. It was probably a conversation that needed to happen long before this point, but I was giving him lots of space to work on his recovery, which he took to mean something else.

I don't know what this means long term. This is still a day at a time deal for both of us, working on our various recoveries. There is obviously room for growth.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. And when we were wrong, we promptly admitted it.

-Roxie
144

ETA: I'm quite embarrassed about all of this.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Running The Numbers: Part Three


Turns out, my decision to do this was pretty timely. I am grateful for the new tools that I have at my disposal. I now have the ability to (try) view things from a different perspective. I do not have to view this as a rejection. We all have choices to make in our lives. My choices are mine.



21. Go to a meeting. For me, this means one thing. For you, it could be a garden club, a book club, the bike club, a volunteer group. Do something - for yourself or for someone else.

22. Write affirmations - I am hitting this one hard. I am writing affirmations and positive statements in order to learn to self-affirm. I don't need to be all that and a bag of chips to someone else - I need to be that to me. I do not get my value based upon my actions or validation from an external source. Again with the re-wiring - when I start to do things that do not improve my situation, I will resort to affirming things.

23. Walk to the store for an apple.

24. Walk to the store for a single serving Greek Yogurt.

25. Walk to the store for some raspberries.

26. Walk the stairs in The Closet, utilizing the parking garage. I can get a great, safe and dry workout right here close to home.

27. Write letters. I have relatives who do not have email. I can write them a letter.

28. Buy a travel book. As a part of envisioning the future I want for myself, I will buy a travel book for that destination. A trip to the bookstore, used or otherwise, all the while picturing me in the new locale, does wonders for the soul. This is actually on tap for my weekend. It's okay to by a used travel guide. For the most part, the Eiffel tower doesn't move around much! If it was there last year, it will be there next.

29. Buy a one day transit pass and ride there and back. Doesn't matter where "there" is. See your city from a different viewpoint. For me, this means I can hop the train to Dallas. Normally, I go to see Pebbles, but I could go just to see the sites.

30. Journal. I've started doing this. Amazingly, there ARE some things that I don't share. Journalling brings clarity to me. I can start to write about something and things come into sharper focus.

to be continued......


Last night was GNO and SATC2. Lord, was that a bad, bad movie. But I enjoyed the company. Too much salty stuff, however.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. We have more control than we think.

-Roxie
143

ETA: I've started tracking cycling miles. Turns out the route I've been riding is 22 miles! While it's not Lori's distances, it is farther than I'd thought. Go me!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Running The Numbers: Part 2


Sometimes I just need to be distracted from eating, thinking, ruminating, obsessing, whatever is bring me down. That being said, the distraction shouldn't be destructive - first, do no harm. I don't want to turn to food if I'm obsessing and I don't want to turn to excessive shopping to distract myself from over-eating. I don't want to acquire "stuff", so recreation shopping isn't an answer - it creates clutter AND reduces your finances. We all need financial freedom and power in our lives. There are, however, ways to spend a little something on an item that is actually useful, so I've included those here.

Continued:

11. Massage - check out any massage therapy schools in your area if you are looking to pinch your nickels.
12. Get a blowout. I did this last night. I called the local beauty school and they offer this service. $8.00 plus tip and my hair looks great. For a few bucks, I can afford the salon look and not pay the salon price. Yes, it took longer than it would have at a salon, but hell, I was looking to kill time and be distracted. I met a lovely young woman who did a nice job on my hair. I got her card and I'll be going back.
13. Farmer's Market:Dallas. Best market in the area. Can get there by public transit, so there's the trip AND the shopping AND supporting locally grown foods.
14. Farmer's Market:Fort Worth. Find out where the "flash" farmer's market is being held this week. Ditto Above. Well, not a real trip involved.
15. Farmer's Market: Weatherford. First Monday.
16. Wash the car
17. Vacuum car
18. From the To Buy List: One bar of fancy soap. I keep a To Buy list. On this list are, surprisingly enough, things I need or want. I actually just purchased a bar of fancy soap last weekend. Other things on my To Buy list include a floor lamp, running skirt, new running shoes, etc. I usually do not impulse shop. Most things spend quite some time on my To Buy list before I actually set about acquiring them.
19. From the To Buy List: Fancy Candle. If you already have enough fancy, smelly candles then for heaven's sake, set them aflame!
20. Pool time - I've never been to The Pool at The Closet, but I like splashing around. Might be a fun way to kill a half hour.

to be continued....

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Distraction is the better part of valor.

-Roxie
140.5

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Treasured

It was just a small thing, really. I'm sure when he did it, he had no clue what it would say to me. The act SHOUTED to me. It told me everything I need to know. Doesn't make him a bad person; it just makes him not the person for me.

And I allowed this to happen. I allowed myself, not be treated badly by any stretch because I never was, but I allowed me to be less-than-treasured. I allowed me to be amiable and convenient and very easy going, even though a part of me was doing a little rebellion of it's own. Because of the situation, because I wasn't being completely true to ME, it wasn't a completely safe place for me to be. And I went along with it for a long time - blaming it on the alcoholism.

So while I was willing to let the past be the past, I was unwilling to continue these behaviors moving forward. People treat you how you let them treat you. So rather than let the action go by unmentioned, I mentioned it. And so here we are.

People will show you their truths if you allow yourself to see it. I was so busy giving "extra credit" for very basic behaviors that I didn't see it. Fantasy thinking - living on "potential" and not the reality.

I will say that a large part of all of this was me working through my issues, my discoveries. I was trying to give up my controlling, codependent nature. I was trying to make sense of what were my real needs and what were just my insecurities quacking at me. I needed some toughening up, I really did. I don't want any hostages and I don't need to be worshiped. So I really wasn't blinded by it - I was just trying on a new way to see if it fit. And there was a large part of what I thought I needed that it turns out I really didn't - those things were just my old stuff re-asserting itself into my new ways. Old habits, and all.

And I discovered that there are some things that I do need. I need to see where the actions fit the words. I heard the right words, but I didn't see it where the rubber met the road.

I have no anger and no regrets. These past few years have been a wonderful opportunity to recover and discover. He was what I needed at the time and I will always be grateful for our time together. Perhaps we've just learned all we have to learn from one another. There is sadness, of course. And now the real work of letting go begins.

I began this morning (with a few tears - which are not a bad thing - they are just a thing) with some written affirmations in my journal.

I am a treasure. I have all I need. I am okay.

Monday, June 7, 2010

What To Do Instead - Running The Numbers, Part One


Sometimes I just need to be distracted from eating, thinking, ruminativing, obsession, whatever is bring me down. That being said, the distraction shouldn't be destructive - first, do no harm. I don't want to turn to food if I'm obsessing and I don't want to turn to excessive shopping to distract myself from over-eating. I don't want to acquire "stuff", so recreation shopping isn't an answer - it creates clutter AND reduces your finances. We all need financial freedom and power in our lives. There are, however, ways to spend a little something on an item that is actually useful, so I've included those here.

As an example, when I was trying to quit smoking, the worst time was evenings after work. So my strategy was when I couldn't stand it anymore, I would get in my car and drive to the garden center and buy a 6-pack of pansies (I quit in winter, so they were in stock) and come home and plant them. The cost was gas, obviously, and about a buck forty eight for the pansies. Plus, it took more than an hour to complete the task. If I was still craving, I would repeat the process. It didn't cost me a lot of money, it did do some good for the "curb appeal" of my home and most importantly, I had a plan of action to take. I KNEW what to do - a little re-wiring/re-programming was happening. So here goes my list so far:

1. Crosswords - I do several onlines and have a big NYT book
2. Walk To Target - dinner prep
3. Go to bookstore to browse
4. Go to library to borrow
5. Starbuck's for a Tall Skinny Vanilla Latte (rare treat)
6. Bike Ride
7. Go to the park and feed the ducks
8. Buy a new pair of panties - okay, this one just hit me yesterday and I think it's absolutely brilliant. Yes, we all know that I love my patagonia panties, but I like having some fancy-pants, too. Not that anyone but me will ever see my drawers, but that's not the point. I can go shopping at Ross, Target, Marshall's, wherever and buy myself one pair of fancy panties - probably for less than 5 bucks on the clearance rack. And then I can come home and toss that saggy-assed, raggedy pair with the bad elastic. One item in, one item out.
9. Read a book of fiction
10. Go to the gym

That's the first ten. There are more where that came from.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Distraction is the better part of valor.

-Roxie
141.5

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Margheritaville

I'm home and I'm happy. What a great day this has been! As expected, Pebbles and Slater flaked out last night. Turns out, neither have helmets and they are required in Dallas and frequently tickets are written out at White Rock. Could be here, too, for all I know. I wear one. But they are still up for biking together at some point. They actually went to buy helmets last night, but Slater has a very large head and Target had nothing for him. No matter. It was probably better this way, anyway. I hit the trail about 6:25 am and it would have been hours later start time if we'd ridden together in Dallas. I couldn't even get a train over there until 9:30 or so. As it was, I was walking back in the door at around 9 am. I did ride a bit farther this time and saw where I could connect up with some more interesting places to ride - like actually AROUND the lake. Hmmm, something to think about.

It was another great ride. I still didn't fuel during the ride, but I did have some oatmeal before I left this morning, so I didn't feel like I was out of juice this trip out. I do think, much like Karen, I do need to adjust the seat up about one inch in order to maximize the power from each stroke. And Brian, forget what I said about "no saddle sores here". Ouchy! I'm ready for a softer seat or some biking shorts. If I'm going to do more of this, the running skirt just aint gonna cut it. Oh, and I need some sun glasses - my glam girl glasses aint gonna cut it either. I had to laugh, though. When I was thinking that I needed some sports glasses, all I could think of was that scene in the movie Singleswhere Debbie Hunt, who is doing the video dating, is supposed to meet this cyclist and she goes out and gets all this equipment and these bug-eyed sports glasses. I so don't want to be THAT woman. Remember her?


Saw lots of interesting stuff on this ride - wild life, both human and otherwise and this guy just out in the trees performing tai chi - that always looks so cool and peaceful and "of the moment". Honeysuckle was in bloom here and there and I could smell it on occasion. Wonderful morning.

Came home, got cleaned up and headed out to a new start-up farmer's market. I knew that I will be bringing the Poolville Pagans back here to see The Closet after church/lunch tomorrow and I planned to serve a little dessert and when I saw a "sock it to me" cake (WTH?) at a little artisan stall, I knew it was the cake for us. It's very coffee cake-like. I also bought a bar of handmade lavender, honey and some other ingredient fancy company soap. It had been on my "to buy" list for a while and I want to support local artists, farmers and artisans, so I just bought it today. And as a surprise for Bick, I bought him some handmade roasted garlic linguine (dried pasta).

Came home from that, parked MalibuKen in the parking stall and walked out to catch the bus to take me to the train station. I was NOT going to miss pizza. I cannot tell you when the last time I actually ate pizza. Pebbles and Slater picked me up at the train station and we headed for the pizza place. Pebbles fell in love with margherita pizza on her first study abroad trip. She lived in an old monastery in Reggio Emilia and every day at lunch she would go this little restaurant/stand for a slice of margherita pizza. If you've never had it, it's not Chicago deep dish, for sure. It's thin, crispy crust with great sauce, very little cheese and lots of fresh basil on top. And this place in Dallas was pretty darn good. They also served a ground hazelnut dessert pizza that looked amazing! We did not partake.

I made up my mind before hand that I was going to have two pieces and I did. I started out with a simple green salad with a skosh of balsamic and olive oil and then I thoroughly enjoyed my pizza. I'm assuming it was between 500-600 calories and that I covered that with the morning's bike ride, so I'm good all around. There were leftovers, but I cannot be trusted with those, so I left them with the kids. We finished lunch, poked around a very cool hipster bike shop in uptown and I caught the next train home.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Work in a treat.

-Roxie
140.5

Friday, June 4, 2010

Cha-Cha On the Choo-Choo

Something new is in the works. I'm excited, but given Pebbles' history, have my expectations of it actually happening set very, very low. The new plan is that I am going to ride Cha-Cha to the train station early on Saturday morning, ride the train to Dallas and then go riding with Pebbles and Slater. Followed by pizza, of course! Benefits include people to ride with and a new place to see. Pebbles and I can hang out and ride slow together and Slater can ride loops around us on his superfast cruisey bike. And then there will be pizza! If I were laying odds, I'd say 50/50. Pebbles doesn't have much early morning follow-through. Even if it doesn't happen this time, it's something to think about for the future.

Still struggling with the sleep thing, but that's pretty much par for my course. Attended a really good meeting last night and came home and started working on my list of "One Hundred Things I Will Do Instead Of Insert-Your-Vice/Obsession/Bane-of_Your-Existance-Here" list. In my effort to retrain and rewire my brain, I sometimes need some distraction techniques that first do no harm. I used a similar process when I was quitting smoking a few years ago. This list is going in my handy-dandy (hi anne) mini-notebook as well. I added about 30 items to the list last night.



I'm going to take it sort of easy today, exercise wise, as I want to save my legs for tomorrow's ride. The ride WILL happen, the only question remaining is will it be here or there. I'll spend some treadmill time at lunch and that will be it for today. After work will be grocery shopping, as Old Mother Hubbard's Cupboard is bare. I'll also pick up some sort of mid-ride snack for tomorrow. Any particular suggestions? Slater is fond of Clif bars. Don't know that they really differ from candy bars.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Have a plan.

-Roxie
140

Thursday, June 3, 2010

T is For Tired

I've not slept well for the last couple of nights, so I took an OTC PM type medicine. It didn't work last night, but it sure is working this morning. I feel like I could put my head down on my desk and sleep for a couple of hours. Not the way to start a Thursday. Oh, well. This too shall pass.

Didn't get any exercise done last night, so no bike riding. Thunderboomers started a bit after 5pm and lasted well into the evening. I guess I could have dashed across the street to the gym, but I didn't want to get soaked (or carry an umbrella) - now that I think about it, I could have driven over there and stayed dry! Hindsight. Again with the oh, well.

Plans now include a meeting tonight, followed by late exercise of some kind. Tomorrow I've got exercise at lunch, but no plans after work. I could stand to do some grocery shopping. I'm going through vegetables like a Cuisianart - which is a good thing. On Saturday morning, I'm planning to be on the bike trail at 6:30 am and upon my return, get cleaned up and hop the train to Dallas - just for lunch. Pebbles has found a new pizza joint that she says is very much like her favorite pizza joint in Regio-Emilia. Thin crust Margherita Pizza. I cannot wait!

Sunday's plans include meditation/church service and lunch out with the Poolville Pagans. I haven't visited with them in a while, plus it will be an opportunity to try out the vegan place in town. Next Wednesday will be another Girls Night Out which involves seeing SATC2 (which I've heard is awful, darn it). And after that, I've got nothing on the docket. Actually, I'm considering joining some surfers at a local microbrewery for a pub trivia night. I'm a little out of the demographic, but I do love trivia. That would be on Tuesday, if I decide to give it a go.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Stay alert.

ETA: Take a peek at the link I'm loving today. Kathy M posts some good stuff.

-Roxie
140.5

Photo is of The GrandBeast as a puppy.

Extra Fun ETA: Malibu Ken

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Motley Wednesday

There is certainly no theme to today's motley assortment of items, so I'll just dive right in.

I haven't seen my former sisters-in-law in, oh, five plus years. We did send them invitations to Pebbles' bridal luncheon thingy, but both were otherwise busy. I had been getting some email updates from Suzy about her kids, etc. and last week she friended me on Facebook. On Monday, while Cha-Cha and I were out exploring, I'll kiss your foot if I didn't run into Suzy on the bike trail. She and her new husband had driven into town from a neighboring county and had started to ride at what for me was to be the end of trail and turnaround point. So I was riding along, minding my own bee's wax and I passed two riders. Obviously, I don't know her new husband, but I recognized her! "Suzy!Sandy(her twin)! Which one are you?" We stopped, hugged and chatted for just a brief minute as her husband didn't see her stop! Anyway, that was strange - her appearing in such an out of the way place.

Unrelated item two. Tuesday To-Do. I issued myself a challenge a couple of weeks ago and haven't posted about it. I did manage to get everything listed in a handy-dandy mini-notebook that I carry with me. My goal this week is to actually send off a piece of legal paperwork that I need signed by my ex-husband. No need to get in a rush - we've only been divorced for eight years! That's my goal for the week. For those who were joining in, how are you doing? Well, get in there and get that crap taken care of!

Item 3: I'm looking at getting some plans set up for the weekend. Of course, there will be a bike ride, but with triple-digit temperatures on the way, it will be an early morning ride, for sure. Saturday, I'm thinking. That means moving a meeting to Friday night or perhaps Thursday. I prefer the Thursday meeting, so maybe I'll drive MalibuKen tomorrow and go to a meeting after work. That might work best, given my work schedule for the month of June.

Item 4: The new bus schedule went into effect this week. It means that I have to leave 30 minutes early to catch the bus and thusly, leave the office thirty minutes earlier, as well. The good news is that Mr. OverlyFriendlyBus Driver doesn't appear to be on this route any longer. But this is certainly less convenient than before. Oh, well. I'll adjust. And speaking of the new bus route, the earlier bus serves as transport for a lot of the city's homeless from the east downtown shelters out to the city parks where I assume they spend most of their days. That kind of exposure can certainly snap my petty problems and issues into perspective. I have many, many things about which to be grateful. Here are three - I am grateful that I'm not personally addicted to alcohol or drugs - given my addictive nature, it's pretty much a miracle. I have an education. I know where to get and receive support if I need it.

Item 5: Speaking of alcohol - I never really said anything about it here, I guess, but I made the decision to forgo alcohol when Bick decided to get sober. I've always been a take it or leave it kind of person with drink, but I made the decision to leave it, at least temporarily. I didn't say anything to Bick about my decision and hadn't really said anything to anyone about it, but I have taken some ribbing about it. I may make a different decision in the future, but for right now, it's what I need to do. It feels hypocritical of me to do otherwise. I think back to my bouts with trying to lose weight and my eating/food addiction/obsession. The Ex-Bubba never said anything to me in a negative way about my weight, but he wouldn't stop bringing home cookies, candies and chips. Yes, it was MY problem and I actually used his actions as an excuse for why I couldn't stop. I'm still in recovery in the food area and I would not be in a relationship with a person who doesn't respect and support my need to live in a "clean" environment. It's a deal-breaker for me. So, there is that.

Item 6: Planning on lunch exercise today and following Tena's suggestion, perhaps a late evening bike ride tonight. Something short and smiley! I'm loving all the bike riding that's going on right now. As Karen commented, bike riding just makes me smile. It makes me light and free. Funny/ironic story from my youth - there was a young man who years later became my first boyfriend who, after my Dad was killed, used to ride his bike out to spend time with my Mom (his 4H leader) and me. He had lost his Dad at a young age as well. He would help out around the place and just generally hang out. Part of the family lore was that "he rode his bicycle all the way from Lyman" Wow! All the way from Lyman. All.the.way. I just googled the route and it was 3.2 miles! We spoke of it in whispered tones as if it were some Herculean feat! Now I don't mean to diminish his friendship, help and support. But looking back, it was just a few miles and he had a brand new 10 speed :-) It's interesting how reality differs from the stories we tell and re-tell. Of course, it would be decades before I came to regard riding a bicycle as fun!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Re-examine your stories.

-Roxie
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eta: yep, it's me - from Pebbles' bridal luncheon thingy.... I didn' realize how BIG the phot is - sorry!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Switching Gears

Wow! What a great ride Cha-Cha and I had on Monday morning. I was out for about 2 and a half hours and I'm feeling it today. Actually, I was feeling it as I began hour three yesterday, but luckily the trail switched directions and I got out of riding into a pretty stiff headwind. Obviously, I need to better prep for my next ride. More hydration and more fuel.

I hate exercising after eating, but I was on fumes by the time it was over. Oh, and I almost fell into the river. I think it's time for me to learn something about cycling. Clementine Peddleford has 18 gears (if I'm doing the math right) and I need to know how to use them. I damned near fell into the river during a mis-timed gear switch! I came home and did a little googling and have learned a thing or two that I'm anxious to use. I cannot wait to go again!

In order to go again, I'm going to have to switch some things around. I have a meeting on Saturday morning and meditation/church on Sunday, so I'll have to figure out a way to still participate in those activities while finding time to bike out of the Texas summer heat.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Gear up.

-Roxie
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