So on Saturday morning, I hopped on Cha-Cha and Trainer Joe and took off my I-don't-wanna pants and just got on with it. I'm liking the trainer, btw. It doesn't take away the fact that I'm just exercising rather than having fun, but it is easy and convenient and small. Given the size of The Closet, compact is good.
After exercising, I got showered and dressed. And I noticed that my smallest jeans were very tight. "Well, they just came out of the dryer", I told myself. Yea, right. So I ditched my no-weigh experiment and stepped on the scale.
Turns out, I've been lax in my exercising. I've been lax in avoiding sweets/treats/baked goods - not fully willing for long enough periods of time to avoid the FoodPusher Alley (office kitchen). Double whammy. And I'm eight pounds over my redline weight. And fourteen and a half pounds over my all-time lowest.
I am unwilling to let my all-time-lowest number bring me down. That weight, and I said it at the time, was unsustainable for me and I won't let it identify me. That weight was achieved by hours of fun, fun, fun biking and I am unwilling to put that much effort into hours and hours of not-nearly-so fun exercising. Sustaining that weight would have to be an all-consuming passion, and it's not. However, I am going to have to be ex-lax and get shit moving around here to get down below red-line.
So here's what I've done/am doing about it. And there is no recrimination here. It is what it is and it doesn't make me panic or fall back into hateful patterns. I'm just tweaking things and paying a bit more attention again.
1. I am adding another session with Cha-Cha and Trainer Joe in the evenings. Just 20 minutes to start. I can do 20 minutes without dread. Twenty minutes isn't trying to get it all back at once. Twenty minutes isn't punishment. Twenty extra minutes is sustainable and doable.
2. Salad kits. I wish I could remember where I saw this on the web - it was in this community. She prepares kits of ingredients so that lunch assembly is pre-done and easy. I went to the store and did prep work last night. And I've also prepared breakfasts for the next four days. On Friday we have another big breakfast to-do at the office. I'll plan ahead, but I'm not going to worry about it TODAY.
3. Pre-tracked food and exercise for the day. I've already rode this morning and I have another session this evening. Lunchtime will consist of another TNT class.
4. I've already drank a big glass of non-coffee this morning. Haven't even had my cuppa yet this morning.
5. This morning, before leaving the house, during my soul/spirit/esteem work, I will handwrite a note to myself about staying on the plan I've laid out and why, just for today, I will make decisions in my own best interest as an act of self-care.
Weekend was wonderful. Bick came into town, and while he did get his bigger pants, he decided to wait on the treadmill. More research, he said. He did suggest a walk in the park on Sunday. Let me repeat that. He did suggest a walk in the park on Sunday. We went. I loved it. He probably tolerated it okay :-).
I ditched the pie for dinner idea. After reading the reviews, the nutrition and knowing the state of Bick and my jeans, I decided that fish was in order. We had some lovely baked cod. The pie will wait until another day, if ever. It was a gift - hey, maybe I'll bake it and take it to work. That'll teach the food pushers!
He also offered a suggestion on where to position Cha-Cha and Trainer Joe, which led to a re-arrangement of furniture here at The Closet. I'm loving the new configuration. Feels new and different and more spacious. Unlike my jeans.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Re-arrange for optimal results.