The kitchen repair/remodel is coming along nicely. Slowly, but nicely. My contractor is showing up to work everyday and making progress. There have been some additional issues, as was expected in such cases, and after my initial (internal) freak out, I'm freaking out less and less. Boy, I can awfulize anything. The familial issues are still there and coming through, so I really have to remember the sacred pause.
That sacred pause is just a road block, a brief (at first) stoppage to reaction or acting without forethought. I am, by nature/habit/genetics, a reactionary person. I can take a bad situation and make it worse in no time. My new first priority is to have that sacred pause before I respond to anything. I read on a recovery blog the other day - paraphrasing here - "One seldom regrets the opportunities to keep one's mouth shut". If I had to give myself a grade on dealing with the repair work/family situation, I'd give myself a B-. Only once did I really butt in where my opinion wasn't asked for. And I got another opportunity to practice the sacred pause last night.
I got a telephone call saying that another upgrade was needed - that the contractor had said so. And yes, I would really like to have that upgrade. But upon further probing, the contractor didn't really say that this particular thing needed to be replaced - he just said that they weren't made with quality - and it was hard to put them back together. I just responded that I would mull it over and talk to the contractor about it.
"But you will disappoint him. He likes to do quality work. His name is on the line."
"Well, Mom, my name is on the check."
I don't think that I'm going to pay him to take out something he's already re-installed. And while a new thing would be nice, it's just not my priority. And The Family wasn't particularly satisfied with my answer. So I get to live in and feel other peoples' unhappiness with me. I think it's something that I need to get more used to. Dr. Brene Brown writes about momentary discomfort versus later resentments. It's all a matter of priorities. I chose momentary discomfort.
In life news, I went to a lecture last night to here this man. I do enjoy going to these kinds of lectures and events. I need to do more of them.
Food and exercise were as they needed to be. I've already taken Clementine Peddleford and Trainer Joe for a spin this morning. I've got a spin class on tap for lunchtime, followed by another evening spin. Food is planned and packed and will be pre-tracked here shortly. Thanks to you guys, I now know that the salad kit idea came from Marisa. I will follow up today with another handwritten note to to myself with my affirmation/intention to make decisions that are in my own best interest, long term.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Pause for Priorities.