Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Restricting and Inflicting

I've had a bit of an issue getting back "on track". And it's not like I've been on some food bender over the holidays, but I have over-indulged on those things that don't make their way into my regular way of eating. And while I had every good intention of getting back in the groove on Monday, a combination of being exhausted and an unfortunate trip through Food Pusher Alley (the office kitchen) brought me face to face with homemade peanut brittle. Not a pretty sight.

So yesterday was a reboot day for me. And I'm making note of the things I do and the things I don't do to nudge myself into my life of good clean living.

Getting enough sleep is job one. When I am tired, I am susceptible to all sorts of whims. I'm also fighting biology. My body is looking for a quick energy boost to power me throughout the day.

I don't restrict. I have a history of a diordered relationship with food. When I try to restrict or "make up for" less-than-stellar choices, it usually always backfires. Introducing perfectionism never helped me. And while I don't restrict the quantity of food, I will make choices to eat good clean protein and plenty of it. I tell myself I can have as much as I want. Last night I had two grilled chicken breasts. Good clean protein sources help me back on the straight and narrow.

I don't inflict. There's a temptation for me to "get back to the gym" to try to make up for my behavior or in my case, punish myself. I no longer inflict punishment in the form of excessive exercise. While other people practice intuitive eating, I practice intuitive exercise. My body will crave exercise and I will give it what it wants. I always want to view exercise as an act of lovingkindness because I am worth taking care of and not as a way of "whipping myself into shape". Yes I enjoy exercise, I enjoy being fit and healthy, but if I do too much, then I might get to the place where I place my value on my accomplishments, not on who I am. I don't want to get into a performance based system to determine self-worth. This one is a pretty slippery slope, to be sure.

So yesterday I got lots of rest, a bit of exercise and some good clean eating with a large measure of protein and today I feel much better, stronger and a bit more back to normal. I didn't wake up with a food hangover or any regrets about yesterday's behaviors - what a great way to start a day.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Find your way back.

-Roxie

7 comments:

  1. I love that you don't try to "make up" by restricting food or over exercising! Just rebooting. Perfect.

    BTW, walking and pedaling? Excellent! I imagine that's what I'll be doing one day too.

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  2. Very insightful. Especially liked the reframing of messages about exercising. Intuitive rather than punitive...makes sense.

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  3. Happy New Year!
    I'm struggling big time too - but like you, I'm trying not to kick off any bad cycles by over-doing it straight away. Good luck with your plan, I love the sound of Intuitive Exercising!

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  4. I've found that plenty of good lean protein wards off the food cooties (except for during the evening). (dammit)

    Love that Food Pusher Alley aka office kitchen. Ain't that the truth?

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  5. I'm glad the punishment phase is over for you - I am almost through with instinctively going that way after a bad choice, myself. Good to see that you really CAN get beyond that way of thinking.

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  6. Protein really is such a good way to reboot. I find that as well. If I make an effort to get in enough protein, the food just falls into place.

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  7. "Spot on" seems to be the word of the day!
    Or words as the case may be!

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We'll try this for a while.