Thursday, January 27, 2011

Wrap Up

This is the wrap of Ellen's hate loss challenge. It, coupled with my prior twenty day challenge, has been very interesting and enlightening. By taking the time to stop and actually think about things, I've learned a few things about myself. It has certainly paid off to pick up those rocks just to look to see what is scurrying about underneath. My thanks to Ellen for putting such a great challenge out there.

I've discovered that I still operated under some mis-held beliefs that when exposed to logic and the light of day, merely became almost laughable. Others, I found, were not what I thought they were at all. The body image thing is a prime example. Sitting with and thinking about that led me in a completely different direction. One that surprised even me. But "leaning into" ala Pema Chodron the discomfort led to discover some stuff that I'd been avoiding. As with many other things, what I thought WAS the issue was merely a symptom of something else. I've been using my soul/spirit/esteem writing time to journal in longhand about these things. Imagine, me, the overzealous discloser, actually writing about something not here on GNR? ha!

And these things that I'm discovering are not broken-ness of ME. They are behaviors, beliefs that I took on when I didn't have the skills to refute them, but instead accepted them as my truths, internalized them, made them a habit and acted accordingly. I can now take the time, with a better skill set, lean into them, try them on, see if they still fit, and if not, figure out a plan to let them go.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"



Work has been slapping me around a bit and I missed yet another workout at lunch yesterday. I did, however, make most of the adjustments to account for the party and dinner out last night. I did not have my morning coffee with cream yesterday, electing to save that for the retirement party. So I had my coffee "dessert" yesterday along with a bit of fruit at the reception. That worked pretty well. However, I may have cut back a bit too much because I was a little shaky by quitting time. I opted for my new favorite snack (which is something I like without being so awesome that I want to eat too much of it). I take the Flat Out breads, cut them in half, and then toast them up. I put these in a serving bag to use as chips into pico de gallo. It's about a 60 calorie snack that takes some time to eat, has a satisfying crunch and contains some fiber. I also threw about 3 ounces of fish on the Foreman. I ate those things and then headed over to Dallas for pizza dinner with the kids.

I've been to this restaurant about three times and I've loved it each time. Last night? What a disappointment! The margherita pizza was a little too salty for my taste. I had my two pieces and the three of us ate about one half of a dessert that we ordered that wasn't much good either. I felt I was still in maintenance range estimated calorie-wise, but expected a bump due to sodium. Didn't happen, but it may come later. I'm highly susceptible to sodium. Big Ass Spongebutt. All in all, I enjoyed the time with the kids and actually stayed out past 10 pm! So much for the no-salt early bird special at Luby's.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Lean in.

-Roxie
144.5

4 comments:

  1. Your post this morning goes along with mine somewhat. Those inner demons again that I thought would just go away. I absolutely love the paragraph that begins with 'these things are not broken-ness of me...see if they still fit - if not, figure out a plan to let them go.' I love, love that line. I am in that process right now. So nice to have someone translate what I'm feeling sometimes. You seem to do that quite a bit, Roxie. Thank you for participating this month. It's made my own progress much easier to figure out.

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  2. "As with many other things, what I thought WAS the issue was merely a symptom of something else."

    I can't even begin to tell you how many times Mr. Helen and I have had a disagreement over something silly and in the end, we realized that what we were disagreeing about was NOT the issue at all.

    Saw something last night about an Oprah show (maybe yesteray's) where she said the happiest people have at least 1 full minute a day of complete quiet. It sounds easy, but really isn't.

    I think you're mastering that trick through all your self reflection. Learning to just sit quietly and waiting to see what "it" really is.

    I'm enjoying learning with you Roxie!

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  3. Just GREAT stuff, Roxie - and you quoted one of my spiritual gurus...Pema. Your observations and discoveries of self are very powerful - it's wonderful witnessing your process here. Very generous of you to share it with us. I really hear increasing self kindness and gelntleness...dare I say Love? It's essential to respect and love self in order to give it to others. Now when am I going to do my own work along these lines?

    The issue is almost always something other than what I thought it was...

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  4. I hear ya on the salt. I'm finding that I notice the salty taste of foods moreso now. Cheers, Rick

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We'll try this for a while.