We met over 31 years ago, right after I first came to Texas. I was 18 and she was a bit younger. And we stayed friends for years. She stood up for me when I married Pebbles' dad. I was her matron of honor in a hideous purple hooped thing, six weeks after giving birth to Pebbles. Suffice it to say, we've been through a lot together. And while my character defects/addictions were legal, hers led her to some difficult ends. It was through those times that I pulled back and we lost touch.
She dropped in on me when I still lived at Reata South - oh, say about six years ago. The exchange left me feeling bad about myself for some reason and so I never contacted her again. About a year or so ago, I ran into her dad at Central Market and we had a nice chat. She is in recovery, he said. Doing well. Being successful. He gave me her email address, but, again, I never contacted her. Well, two weeks ago, she pops up asking to friend me on FB and tonight we are going to dinner. I am really looking forward to catching up.
I know that my reluctance had more to do with wanting to leave my past behind me than it did about my feelings for her. I love her and always will. I certainly don't want to return to any of those behaviors that seemed at their worst during the time in my life when I was closest to her, but I'm unlikely to take a header off of the deep-end these days. I am not that person anymore - except that I really am. Those old parts are still a part of the fabric of who I am today. And perhaps I've made a little more peace with myself and forgiven myself for the myriad of mistakes I made.
She knows where all the bodies are buried. All of them. And so do I and I no longer flinch in pain/embarrassment/shame (much) when I think about it. It should be an interesting evening.
And in my real-life version of Ground Hog Day, Day Four of the Great Inclement Weather Sit In. Seriously, it's getting all Donner Party up in here. Today, more snow is on the way, but I am OUT OF FOOD. I think I have one piece of flat out bread left and some olive oil and spices (plus the usual condiments), so I have got to venture out today. Probably on foot to pick up a few things. And seriously, I live on top of about six restaurants, one of which I'm having dinner at tonight. I won't starve starve. I'm just trying to steer clear of restaurants, as I have several meals away scheduled.
Work is canceled today because of a busted pipe and flooding in the computer/phone center. This is NOT GOOD. Looks like the disaster recovery plan may be tested to it's limits.
So tonight is dinner with Barbie. I'm thinking that I won't be doing any cycling with Kathy tomorrow. Exercise on Saturday will be a quick trip on the trainer I think, and then I'll head up to Bick's. He was coming here to stay on Friday night, but he's decided to head home after work tonight with a 5 gallon bucket of toilet-flushing water so that he can get an early start on leak-fixing Saturday morning. I'll get my exercise out of the way and head up there - I can at least be the Home-Depot runner. He said he was going to take a shot at fixing it himself, if unsuccessful, then call in a plumber. If he gets water by Saturday evening, then we are going over to Aloysius', as he and Sandy are fixing birthday dinner for Bick. So sweet, that is.
Then on Sunday, I am taking Big Al, Sandy, Pebbles, Slater, Bick and myself to the Conoco gas station for some oxtail. This is the closest thing I could get to throwing Bick a 50th bday party.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Forgive yourself.