Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Feeling Flat

I enjoyed my company last night, but certainly wish I could crawl back into bed this morning. Today feels like a great day for a mental health day, but my schedule is already too packed to readjust it. I'm scheduled to go to Dallas for dinner with the kids tonight and even that sounds like a beating right now. But I am not my feelings. My feelings are not truths.

So I will get on with it this morning. I'll spend a bit of extra time in preparing myself for the day - mentally, physically and spiritually - and go forth with the intention of being gentle with myself and all those around me.

The house versus condo? Which house? Which condo? Do I act now? Do I wait? What if I make the wrong decision? All of these thoughts are on continuous loop in my head and last night's discussion only added fuel to the fire - actually it did more to confirm the condo decision. My guests had carefully tracked their housing versus renting expenses and established their breakeven point. For them, given the house maintenance issues/work required, it was worth even a premium to rent. I think a condo would mitigate that somewhat.

Gah! But I also worry that I will make a decision just to make this loop stop. Whatever it is, I need to work to set aside my obsessive thoughts and worry. Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair, rocking hard. It expends energy, but one doesn't get very far. I need to get a little peace about this.

Food and exercise are pure crap as of yesterday and I have a luncheon that is a must attend today. I shall try to make the best of it.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Know when to protect yourself.



  1. It is easy to get caught up in weighing the options and considering what's best. I know in my past when I would walk in to an apartment or when we came in to our house .that it was right. It's like a bell rings internally and you just know. But it has to be the whole package-the money, the travel, the place etc or you are just feeding one part of your decision making soul and not all. 13 years in to living in our house , we truly realize we don't care about nor want to spend our time doing yard work. We don't care about diy , decorating projects. We would rather have the convenience of an apartment but the financial benefit of a condo. Eventually, if the housing market ever recovers just a teeny bit we'll do that. For now, we live with what our selves from 13 years ago for thought.

  2. What kept going through my mind as I read this is: "Roxie can stop the loop by realizing that whatever choice she makes now does not have to be permanent." Whether you end up in a house or a condo? Either can be sold again.

  3. Very wise words from the both of you. Thanks.

    I always seem to fall into the trap of "perfect" thinking - that I have to make the perfect "always" decision. I don't have to make the perfect decision. I may even make a wrong decision, but as I've seen many times in my own life, most are completely correctable. Thanks for the perspective that keeps my from continuing to spiral into the unknowable. Sheesh.

  4. Wishing you lots os peace and energy today. It'll all work out. No worries.

  5. As I read your post, I was thinking "no house or condo is every perfect" and then I see your comment...yay Roxie! Letting go of the "perfect" anything sure lets a lot of stress go with it. There will always be a compromise - with a house, a vehicle, a partner...that's just life. It's ok. You are going to be just fine.

  6. "ever" perfect...loling that I got that word wrong!

  7. I think you should put the numbers aside for a couple of weeks. Surely you know by now what you can comfortably and happily afford, which is all you absolutely need to know. That number? Don't go over it. You will have won at something many many people lost at, right there.

    Spend two weeks thinking about what you *like* instead of perceived value. Do some window-shopping online and have your agent take you to a selection just to see what your gut does. After you've seen 15-20 houses in quick succession, you'll feel your opinions begin to rise to the surface AND you'll be more educated about the decisions you need to make.


We'll try this for a while.