Tuesday, April 5, 2011

I Am Capable

* This is a series of posts I'm calling my Attagirl Portfolio. Using this poster (available @ www.allposters.com) as my inspiration, I am creating a series of life-enriching (not empowering, heh!) posts. These are to be hauled out and re-read in case of emergency when the only other option appears to be the liberal application of apple fritters directly to my ass.


I am capable. We are all capable of much more than we've ever dreamed. I know that is true for me. The issue for me sometimes is that I get overwhelmed. And when I get overwhelmed, I tend to just shutdown and become capable of very little. To combat the tendency to be overwhelmed, I need to take things in little bitty bits. If I focus on the next little thing, then pretty soon, I can turn around and see that I can be capable of a lot. I am capable.

Thank you all for the kind comments and emails. I really am doing okay right now. I know that I will be on a bit of a roller coaster for a while, but even over the last week, I've managed to smile a good deal and have some wonderful times and experiences. I've got things to look forward to - including three more house visits on Thursday. I've expanded my search to a different part of town where I've located some little gems in my price range. I will be okay. I AM okay.

This event, while sad, hasn't come close to knocking me down or out. And I don't mean that in an "I Will Survive" disco-anthem militant way. Nope, this is just a quiet knowing. When I feel sad, I will feel it and when I don't, well, then I'll enjoy that time as well.

Food has been a little bit salty as of late but I've been consistent with the exercise. Today is a lunchtime workout and maybe a little bike ride, if this wind dies down. It was blowing so hard on Sunday while I was riding that at times it just stopped all forward momentum.

There was a thunderstorm that blew through yesterday morning about 5 am that rattled the windows so hard that my bedroom curtains and curtain rod flew off and into the living area! Now that is no way to start a day. I'm hoping for something a little calmer.

And speaking of houses, I did have a talk with my realtor yesterday and discussed how I would like interactions between us to be handled as we move forward to view other properties. I was able (I hope) to be clear about my expectations without being aggressive, which is my fall-back position if frustrated. Feel pretty good about that, too. I am still in no hurry on the house thing. While I do love some of the houses in this new area, the trails aren't quite as accessible as I would like them to be. But the area warrants the research.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Capability builds confidence.

-Roxie
143.5

6 comments:

  1. Yes, you ARE okay. More houses? Have fun with it and good for you for being clear with your realtor.

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  2. Good lord woman, I hope that posting time is at least in CDT and not EDT! Missed your previous post. I am saddened by the loss of the relationship. It sure sounds like you both handled it really well and there are a lot of positives to take away from this.

    Happy hunting on the housing! Don't fret the trail access overly much. You can always get a rack for Malibu Ken and make a short drive to a trail head. Seems oxymoronic, but works terrifically well.

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  3. Holy crap on the storm blowing off your curtains and rod!!! That was crazy. We had dark ominous skies and tons of wind but no rain. Aggiedome strikes again.

    One of these days, YOUR house/condo will present itself to you. Have fun finding it. :)

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  4. Funny - here in suburban Philly we had a big storm blow through around 7 a.m.! Parallel storms zillions of miles apart.

    I hear you allowing space for yourself to feel, grieve, allow in life in the moment - that is the way we move through and move on. It may take time, but all things change as we allow ourselves to process.

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  5. Having a nice distraction is always helpful to me, in any otherwise stressful situation. House hunting can be enjoyable, especially when you find one that ISN'T like the unforgettable house we looked at one time, which we still refer to as: The House of A Thousand Smells.

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  6. ahhh
    are people still remarking to you HOW FUN!! I LOVE HOUSE HUNTING!

    (whispers) those comments get old fast huh? :)

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We'll try this for a while.