* This is a series of posts I'm calling my Attagirl Portfolio. Using this poster (available @ www.allposters.com) as my inspiration, I am creating a series of life-enriching (not empowering, heh!) posts. These are to be hauled out and re-read in case of emergency when the only other option appears to be the liberal application of apple fritters directly to my ass.
I am Caring. Caring. This one would seem like a no-brainer, right? Except for me, caring is a real sticky wicket. Caring or caretaking is where the worst of my dependencies come out. Caring is all a jumble of sometimes less-than-pure motives so I have to really watch it.
I have to make sure that I am clear on my motivations and boundaries before "caring". I never, ever want to even think the words "after all I've done for you" about someone that I have a relationship with. There is a slogan that asks the question "Is it fun or is it free?" It is a way to help evaluate the motivation behind any action. If I am attempting to "take hostages" by caring, then it's not free and I'm not doing it right. I am learning to be caring - the kind borne of freedom, without expectations. We all now know that expectations are just resentments under construction. I practice resentment-free caring.
In the "I can't believe this category", got a call from my real estate agent asking me if I was still interested in Grandma's condo. Um, no. We had another discussion about what went south in that transaction and what made me uncomfortable. I expect I will probably end up in a condo at some point. I just don't think it's where I want to be right now. And yes, I know I'm a total flip-flopper on this one. As long as I live small in an active neighborhood, I think I'll pocket the monthy maintenance fees to hire my own maintenance work done.
I'd forgotten a wonderful piece of advice given me by my friend and financial planner, Meg. She has known me for a lot of years and knows how the maintenance issues of Reata South just made me so uncomfortable and anxiety-ridden. Her suggestion was just to earmark a maintenance fund. And then when something came up, just hire it done. It does give me a sense of control, as in "I've planned for this breakdown of the whatchamajiggy - I just need to make some calls". Eases the panic, a bit.
Let's just say yesterday was not my best day in the food and exercise department and leave it at that. And speaking of such, I have never watched Dancing With the Stars, but became interested when I heard that Kirstie was 60! When did she get to be 60? So while I don't watch the show, I do watch her clips on YouTube and have begun to root for her. Which led me to Fat Actress, which I streamed last night. I don't know how I feel about the show overall, but there were parts of it that had me both laughing my ass off and nodding in complete agreement. There was one episode/scene where she's trying to find her "fat pants" and realized that she's outgrown them. Oh my. I cannot tell you the number of times that I've been flopped down on the bed with PLIERS trying to get my pants on! Now granted, these were cowgirl jeans and we wore them tight, but PLIERS? I shudder to think....
Today is Real Estate Thursday. Who knows what it will bring? I shall not think about "the house that got away" I shall think about this as look, there are many perfect things out there at the price I want to pay. I just have to wait for the next one. The fact that there was ONE says that the perfect solution for me DOES exist. I just need to wait for it to come to me (and as Brian suggested - carry a contract in my purse!!!)
I don't have anything on the books for Friday evening, but have another ride planned with Talia on Saturday. Sunday I plan to go to church/meditation and then maybe another ride or some Open Houses or both. We'll see.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. The best care is good self-care.