Tuesday, June 28, 2011
I'll Have What She's Having
The past couple of weeks have been very educational for me. I can feel a shift in my thinking taking place. Even a small change causes a shift in my trajectory, my path and I feel like I need to re-visit and rethink my vision for what I want my life to be.
Turns out, even as smart as I think
I am, I'm not so smart at all. I forget things. I make things too complicated. I get all wrapped up and lost in the minutia. I need things to be simple. With simple, I stand a chance of remembering my truths when faced with, horror horrors, feeling an actual feeling, rather than avoiding or dreading it. Because I can be so feeble-minded, slogans and visions are helpful to me. So I'm working on a renewed vision and recently, I had a glimpse of a part of what I'd like my future to hold.
I was invited to a birthday party given by a friend of mine for two celebrants - one I knew and one I didn't. There were about a dozen of us gathered at CJ's. There was just an energy about CJ, her home and her guests that was at once both strong and calming. I want more of that in my life. As a matter of fact, I'll be hosting the next gathering in August, per the group's request. I want a life and a home that provides that kind of vibe to me and to others.
I also want to continue this path of deliberate-ness, for lack of a better name. I'm trying to give up multi-tasking. I want to be present and aware of each action that I am taking instead of just flying through my days, always waiting and wanting the "next" thing. Being deliberate, even with mundane tasks like washing dishes or folding laundry, seems to keep me centered and grounded and almost allows me to slow down time. It allows me to be present.
I'll continue to live a healthful lifestyle and not use exercise as punishment. I require and WANT far more exercise than I did years ago and so I will just have to trust that I get enough. My motivation will ebb and flow, but it will never go away. I will accept me and my human-ness.
I won't call what I'm feeling excitement, exactly, more a curiousity of what exactly my future holds and how it all unfolds. I look forward to enjoying each and every day until I get there.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Have a vision.