Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I Am Determined.
I am determined. Now this one is interesting. I don't know that I am determined anymore. Oh, I've been that in the past - jaw-clenched, white-knuckled, scorched-earth, steel-spined determined. I'm no longer convinced that going through life with that mindset works for me.
I have been determined in the past, and experienced some "success" with it, but somehow, now, it feels so brittle and harsh - at least in the way I chose to apply it. I suppose I took things to the extreme and it became grim determination, rather than the more fluid intention. For me, moving from teeth-gritting determination to a softer, gentler kind of self-care takes things from practicing perfectionism into practicing progress. Putting down General Patton's riding crop, metaphorically speaking, has been one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Determination kept me in the future, while intention keeps me in today.
Food has been good. Exercise has been okay. Self-care - doing the things that are good for me - has been good. I've been reading and writing and getting a few things done around the house. In a deliberate and meditative fashion.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Be determined to be self-loving.