Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I Am Enthusiastic.

Unless my personal perception is way off, I am enthusiastic. I am pretty much up for anything and tend to stay positive. No, not in that "cheerleader-y" way - less obvious than that - but I'm pretty much known for being game for almost anything and excited about the possibilities.

I wasn't always that way - my judgmental nature kept me sitting in, well, judgment over a lot of things. So enthusiastic has become a life choice. I have the good fortune, I guess we'll call it - of working with several Negative Nancys. And boy does that get tiring! I was able to see these tendencies in myself - always seeing the negative, choosing to be drug kicking and screaming and pronouncing into the next thing. Choosing to be enthusiastic is just much easier and more pleasant. Giving up my superior attitude surrounding such things - especially in my work life - has been another game changer.

So while I'm no Pollyanna, I am generally enthusiastic. It's a choice I choose to make. Which, given my recent downer posts, seems at odds, but not all progress is linear :-)

Been doing a lot of work on the "stuff" that's come up recently. It's never a waste to do the work - there is always something that comes of it. There are times where I feel pretty silly and stupid to have to be processing more of the childhood stuff at my advanced age, but it does amaze me the number of things I've hung onto for years and without the examination, would continue to drag with me as I trudge through the decades. It is what it is and I'm doing my best to make peace with it, with me.

While I won't call it a binge, exactly, I did over-eat by a long shot yesterday and I did it with stuff from the vending machine that wasn't even good. So today? The purse and the money stays in the trunk of the car. This won't be a forever solution, but for right now, I'm pretty vulnerable and I will protect myself from myself. No need to make unpleasantness worse, you know? I've got my food and beverage packed for the day. I will get to the gym and then tonight, I'm getting my hair colored and a blow-out at the local beauty school. I shudder at the thought of getting hair dye all over my pretty white bathroom or on my concrete countertops in the kitchen. So we'll give this a shot. I've had the blow out before, but not the color.

So that's the news that's fit to print. Not particularly enthusiastic - except it really is. I am acknowledging that I'm dealing with some stuff right now and I am enthusiastically looking forward to living in today, to see what today will bring. As Dana showed us yesterday, each day can bring new and wonderful things. I just need to be present to enthusiastically enjoy it.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Be enthusiastic.

And I will get to the gym today.


  1. Once again, your insight shines through. I applaud your ability to see what's happening, not ignore it - and make out a plan on what you're going to do to prevent any further sabotage. That takes such strength to just pay attention, sometimes.
    Good luck on the hair color. I've never had a blow-out. This humidity has my curls looking like I'm a female-Einstein (without the brains, of course) lol

  2. Doing the work on ourselves is never without benefit. I have childhood stuff that still can throw me for a loop. Just not thinking about something doesn't fix it. Sooner or later you MUST do the work! Or stay miserable. Always an option, I guess.

    Yep, I would say that you are enthusiastic for sure!

    Thanks again for your thoughtfulness!

  3. Ellen, I'm not getting the "Brazilian" blow-out. This is just a run-of-the-mill style after my color.

    Dana, thanks for the support and I am so, so happy for you. Blogger will not let me leave a comment for you AGAIN!


We'll try this for a while.