Wednesday, July 27, 2011
I Am Exceptional.
Well, I am. We all are. Yep, I'm still in a slump - still in the dumps - and it is okay. What differs these days is that my self-esteem is still intact or not deteriorating, anyway . No, I am not particularly happy, but it doesn't mean I am not experiencing joy. So it really is all okay.
In my prior experiences, anything down phase like this would have me serving myself up on a spit with all the things "wrong" with me. If I was only this, if I only had less of this or more of that, then things would be perfect. I took out whatever feeling I had on myself. All the less-than positive feelings I had were directly and punishingly targeted at myself. Today, not so much. These feelings that I am processing now, while they are far from pleasant, haven't been chipping away at the generally positive feeling I have about me. Trust me when I say that is a MAJOR milestone for me. Major. I don't feel like I'm a victim. I'm not playing the role of martyr. I am just processing some losses - both recent and not-so-recent. And there will be days like this. So, yes, I am exceptional. As are you. This isn't a zero-sum game. There is room for everyone to feel good about themselves. For me, that was a choice to make and a habit to break.
Bossman made it through surgery, so I've been told. I will make a trip to the hospital to see him today - and bring my usual stash of magazines, rather than flowers. He will remain hospitalized until Saturday, as it stands now.
Went to the beauty school last night for a semi-perm color and style - no more Brazilians of any kind for me ;-). Darling, sweet stylist, but I was in that chair for THREE hours. At one point, having been up since a pinch after 4 am, I do believe I fell asleep. But the hair looks nice and my pristine white bathroom doesn't look like the shower scene from Psycho, so I guess it was worth it.
I did manage the elliptical at lunch but my cheap-ass nature bit me on the too-big ass last night. Before going to the salon, I ran by the grocery store after work to pick up some Diet Coke - and if you bought 4 12packs (which was the only way they were affordable at this store) you got a free package of Oreos. Oh, I thought, I'll take those in to the office tomorrow after having a couple just to tide me over until I get my hair did. Well, we all know how that turned out. Too many cookies - which I guess was okay, as they turned out to be my dinner because it was well after nine before I got home. Had I been totally without food, I would have gnawed my stylist's head off and probably her arm, too! Needless to say, there was an Oreo funeral. Into the trash they went. And after such a clean day, too! Ah, well. They are just calories, right?
Today will bring a visit to a bookstore for some mags, a trip to the hospital to see the Bossman, a meeting and preparation for tomorrow. The MerryWidow/Newlywed is retiring tomorrow, and I have been asked to give a speech, so I need to get cracking on that.
ETA: Blogger apparently hates me and refuses to let me leave comments about 80 percent of the time. I am not ignoring you. GAH!
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. You are exceptional and everyone knows it.