Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I Am Exceptional.


Well, I am. We all are. Yep, I'm still in a slump - still in the dumps - and it is okay. What differs these days is that my self-esteem is still intact or not deteriorating, anyway . No, I am not particularly happy, but it doesn't mean I am not experiencing joy. So it really is all okay.

In my prior experiences, anything down phase like this would have me serving myself up on a spit with all the things "wrong" with me. If I was only this, if I only had less of this or more of that, then things would be perfect. I took out whatever feeling I had on myself. All the less-than positive feelings I had were directly and punishingly targeted at myself. Today, not so much. These feelings that I am processing now, while they are far from pleasant, haven't been chipping away at the generally positive feeling I have about me. Trust me when I say that is a MAJOR milestone for me. Major. I don't feel like I'm a victim. I'm not playing the role of martyr. I am just processing some losses - both recent and not-so-recent. And there will be days like this. So, yes, I am exceptional. As are you. This isn't a zero-sum game. There is room for everyone to feel good about themselves. For me, that was a choice to make and a habit to break.

Bossman made it through surgery, so I've been told. I will make a trip to the hospital to see him today - and bring my usual stash of magazines, rather than flowers. He will remain hospitalized until Saturday, as it stands now.

Went to the beauty school last night for a semi-perm color and style - no more Brazilians of any kind for me ;-). Darling, sweet stylist, but I was in that chair for THREE hours. At one point, having been up since a pinch after 4 am, I do believe I fell asleep. But the hair looks nice and my pristine white bathroom doesn't look like the shower scene from Psycho, so I guess it was worth it.

I did manage the elliptical at lunch but my cheap-ass nature bit me on the too-big ass last night. Before going to the salon, I ran by the grocery store after work to pick up some Diet Coke - and if you bought 4 12packs (which was the only way they were affordable at this store) you got a free package of Oreos. Oh, I thought, I'll take those in to the office tomorrow after having a couple just to tide me over until I get my hair did. Well, we all know how that turned out. Too many cookies - which I guess was okay, as they turned out to be my dinner because it was well after nine before I got home. Had I been totally without food, I would have gnawed my stylist's head off and probably her arm, too! Needless to say, there was an Oreo funeral. Into the trash they went. And after such a clean day, too! Ah, well. They are just calories, right?

Today will bring a visit to a bookstore for some mags, a trip to the hospital to see the Bossman, a meeting and preparation for tomorrow. The MerryWidow/Newlywed is retiring tomorrow, and I have been asked to give a speech, so I need to get cracking on that.

ETA: Blogger apparently hates me and refuses to let me leave comments about 80 percent of the time. I am not ignoring you. GAH!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. You are exceptional and everyone knows it.

-Roxie

3 comments:

  1. You are not the only one with blogger and comment trouble. I'm sure some people think i have fallen off the face of the earth and i don't love them anymore. :)

    I find that i used to just sign in under my google account option down below but that no longer works I have to select name/url fill in that info and i can leave a comment. If they don't have that option listed and not all do then i'm out of luck.... uuughhh.... Great post Roxie like always. My daughter has started doing my hair. lol.....Aahhh what the heck it pleases her and doesn't look bad. Hugs! deb

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  2. I've been having issues with blogger too. I'm glad you mentioned it because I was going down the mind path of "I'm too old and simple for all this new-fangled stuff...".

    In addition to being exceptional, you sound very grounded Roxie. You are aware of your current feeling place, and it isn't defining who you are. You're you, in a current slump. That's all. This has been a big lesson for me that I'm beginning to get for myself. I'm aware of a baseline of peace and optimism that doesn't dissolve because I have a bad day or an anxious moment.

    Now I hope this will publish!!!

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  3. Ni biggie on losing the Oreos. Oreos and Diet Coke don't go well together anyhow - milk is the drink of choice with those puppies!

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We'll try this for a while.