Tuesday, May 31, 2011

All Decked Out


This is where I sat to do my morning reading, writing and my morning Diet Coke, rather than coffee, as I'd programmed the coffee too early and it was already cold by the time I got around to drinking it. What a lovely way to start out the day. I'm still "doilying" up the place a bit, but it is an enjoyable space, to be sure.

I feel like today is the first day to really return to any sort of a routine in nearly a month and I am grateful for it. Today's plan: yoga at lunch. I can hardly wait. New instructor and she's fabulous.

This evening, I plan to go up to the school for an evening walk about and then work in the garden for a bit. And probably shuffle things around a bit. I'm not completely unpacked, but I am getting ideas about where things will finally end up. So.much.fun.

Sleep still not as I would wish, but it will come. I just need to be extra gentle with myself while I work through this cycle of sleeplessness. Gah.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Find some quiet time.

-Roxie
144.5

Monday, May 30, 2011

The Remains Of The Day


A lovely day is coming to a close. After a fitful night's rest and hitting the snooze about three times (an alarm is practically unheard of - hitting the snooze is a rarity indeed), I made my way to the neighboring county to the trailhead to meet Talia. We headed into a local state, buzzed around there for a while, ditched the bikes and found the rock climbing area. We didn't do is scaling or rappelling, but we did engage in some pretty hairy rock scrambles in and about the rock formations. Just gorgeous! All of this and home by 10:30 am!

Spent the rest of the day puttering around. I was busy, I swear, but I can't for the life of me recall one thing that I accomplished - other than going to the grocery store. The fridge is now stocked with REAL food. First time in weeks!

I am hoping to get a good night's rest tonight. I've been sleep deprived now for several weeks and it's really beginning to take it's toll.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Sleep should be a top priority. Without it, everything else is just tougher than it needs to be.

-Roxie
148

Sunday, May 29, 2011

The First Cut Is The Deepest


Right now, the backyard looks like I've given it a really bad haircut. I am hopeful that I will get better at using the weedeater. I purchased a reel mower, but I think I'm going to take it back. I got through everything I needed to do with just the new electric weed-eater. So far, so good. Now if I can manage to change out the spools when needed, things will be all good in that department. I do think that I'll look into getting a harness, as it will make this easier, even though it is TONS lighter than a gas-powered outfit.

I also finished putting together the patio furniture. By the end, I was getting pretty darned good at it. I should have started with the chairs rather than the bench, as the chairs were easier to maneuver and the instructions state that this is a two-person job. Well, it was just me and a garden stool for support, but they are done and seem very sturdy. They aren't the stuff of which heirlooms are made, but I am hopeful that they will last for a few years, anyway. Now to the fun part - decorating the front porch room.

I also played "Edward Scissorhands" and trimmed back some stuff. I do think that will be that primary task is keeping things from looking overgrown. My plan is to follow her outline and vision until I develop one of my own.

In another strange happening, I was laying up under the patio bench like it was a Olds Cutlass, tightening up some bolt or another, when I heard someone speak to me. I crawled out from under the bench to see a woman standing on my porch. "Are you the owner?" she asked. "Yes", I said. She said "I used to own this house". So we visited for a bit and I gave her, her new husband and her twenty-something son the grand tour. Turns out, the fabulous condition of the inside of the house is due to her renovations - save the concrete counter tops and new sink. It was wonderful to hear all the stories about the renovations she did - plus, she was blown away by the gardens, etc. I gave them to grand tour, obviously -with mother and son chattering about how this was and that was and how she bought the house without removing the rugs that were on the floor and it turns out that the inspection discovered a big whole in hall floor. When she pointed it out to me, you can see a faint difference in the flooring there, but I hadn't noticed it without her pointing it out. She lives in Houston now, but was in town for a visit and had heard the place was for sale again. Another woman with a post-divorce story. This is obviously a woman's house, for sure.

Valerie is coming over this afternoon and I have a few things to return, so some shopping may be in order. Tomorrow, I'm scheduled to meet Talia at 6:30 am in the neighboring county for a ride on a new trail. Woo hoo! I hope to have some legs under me. I'm pretty sore from all the moving, paint, furniture wrestling and box bull-dogging that's been going on lately. I've been popping Aleve like they was Chiclets! And at some point, I do need to go grocery shopping, although I still haven't unpacked my pots and pans.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Don't reinvent the wheel.

-Roxie

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Busting Rock At Bedrock


After two days of busting rock at Bedrock (read: cleaning and painting the interior of Pebbles' and Slater's new home), I am taking a break. Actually, I am mid-bike ride, having had to cruise over to the old place to get some air in Cha-Cha's tires! Since I don't have web access at the CSH yet, I pop in here from time to time and grab another handful of stuff to complete the move.

Just let me say that while I adore Bedrock, I am even more grateful for the love and good care that my seller took of CSH. I had to do nothing to move in. Over there, I've done eleventybillion squats at Bedrock rolling the entirety of that house. Up and down, up and down. My quads are screaming! Pebbles and I have a plan - she does all the cutting in and I follow with the roller. Two and sometimes three coats - and that's just the walls. We are all taking somewhat of a painting break today to let them settle in, as there has been moving as well as painting. So they are spending the day today getting stuff arranged, etc. and then on Sunday/Monday we paint the kitchen - including the cabinets. I think she's lost her ever-loving mind on the cabinets, but hey, not my house. And don't get me started on the woodwork. It desperately needs to be stripped and redone, as there are layers of bad DIY paint jobs glomming up the works.

So today, I'm riding my bike and then I will try to figure out two things: 1. How to unload (by myself) the heavy boxes of patio furniture I just bought from World Market and 2. How to put together the patio furniture I just bought from World Market and 2A. Go to the store and buy all the tools I need to put together said furniture.

Then I'll work in the yard some and make a trip to the Blue Box Store and buy my new reel mower. I tried out Slater's and I really like it. I think it, along with an electric weedeater will keep me out of the pull-start business, which long, long, long time readers will remember that I seem constitutionally incapable of operating and will always, always, always, leave me in a puddle of frustrated tears in the middle of the yard. No motor is the way to go for me, I believe.

Then tonight, it's back over to Bedrock for the inaugural run of the new grill, firepit and new patio furniture. This is a semi-trial run, as they (again with the crazy) are hosting 35 guests next weekend. I'll run over for that and serve as scullery wench so to free up Pebbles to mingle.

Administrivia: To answer a comment - For reasons that I don't quite understand, the patio doors can only be referred to as Hobbit doors. There are knobs, but they are so low that I have to almost bend down to open the door. Seller said they were original, and while a PITA, are sort of charming. We'll see how long I can stand that much charming. Although I think my tolerance may be pretty high. I still feel like I'm waking up every morning in a Fredericksburg B&B. I rode through the neighborhood some this morning. It is just so cute. I'll come down off riding Glitter, my unicorn, through the land of rainbows and kittens and white picket fences just as soon as the first things breaks down, but for now, I'm enjoying this.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get the right tools for the job.

-Roxie

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Rosemary and Roses

This may turn out to be my favorite thing about the new house - just running outside, gathering up a few things and putting together a very simple bouquet of fresh flowers for the table. Today's tableu includes rosemary and roses, surrounded by the tissue paper that encased my housewarming gifts from Talia and her husband. Oh and the term table being used very loosely, as it currently consists of four tv trays pushed together. Proper dining table to follow as soon as it makes itself known.

I did get a few things unpacked this morning - most of the kitchen, actually. Put a few of my things up in the built-ins, although I don't know if it will end up this way. Probably not, but it will do for tonight's gathering (weather permitting).

Plans for lunch include time on the elliptical machine - and perhaps a walk through the neighborhood after the girls leave. We tend not to linger in any one place too long - so I expect I'll have some daylight left. We'll see.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Gather ye rosebuds.

-Roxie

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Stream of Consciousness Post

I'm sitting at my apartment with MalibuKen safely parked in the garage having just sat through the tornado sirens. Pebbles, Slater and GrandBeast just got the all clear beep in Dallas. There was rotation very near their home (old).

I'm getting ready to head home.

Spent time at yoga practice today. First time in ages. It was wonderful.

Had dinner earlier this evening with Talia and her husband at a great Thai place. Yummy!

I'm having the GNO group over to the house tomorrow. They've been advised to bring their own dishes, chairs and snacks and beverage of their choice. All I'm providing is the back yard.

Pebbles gets the keys to her new home tomorrow and unfortunately, she is very sick. Went to the doctor yesterday - has double ear and sinus infection.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Take shelter when advised.

-Roxie

Monday, May 23, 2011

"When It Comes to Moving Me, You Know You Guys Are The Champs"


Note: Not a recent photo. Not my stuff.

The Load Out was ably performed by Pebbles, Slater and me. I'm in, mostly. It wasn't hitchless, but it's mostly done. I still don't have internet access yet, so I'm back at the old place picking up a few more things.

There's still a ton of stuff to do: unpacking, decorating, buying necessities. However, I decided that there wasn't really a deadline on those things and they could easily wait without penalty. What can wait no longer is my routine of healthful living. So I came home from work (after going by the box store to get some more keys made - I've already managed to get myself locked out once) and changed into my workout close and went for a walk at the neighborhood school. It was just wonderful. There was all kinds of activity -families playing, people walking dogs, running. I loved it. I put in an hour and then came home to resume the tasks.

I still don't have internet access at the new place, so I'm over at The Closet picking up some stragglers and thought I'd post a quick update to say that I'm alive and I'm looking for my pants.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. First things first.

-Roxie

Friday, May 20, 2011

Conserving Energy?




I hope that I've just been in hibernation, saving up my energy, because it sure seems I don't have much to go around. And goodness knows I haven't been expending much lately either. My bike hasn't seen the trail in so long I can't even remember. I look forward to having my routine returned. Although I think it may be several more weeks until then.

Looks like Pebbles isn't going to make it over this afternoon - she's got some work things that she can't put off. I'm a bit disappointed, as I always enjoy spending time with her, but I've got some work things that I need to be doing as well. Plus, lots of folks will be out of the office at the golf tournament today so it is just as well. Hey, I could even go to the gym after I pick up the keys! Wouldn't that be novel?

Eating hasn't been clean for the last two days - hasn't been bad, just not clean enough to do any real good. I'll just try to hold on here until my mojo/energy returns and I am magically revitalized. Hey, if you see my unicorn, Glitter, will you please send her back my way? ;-)

Oh, and I got a Pinterest account, but don't appear smart enough to use it.

Here's the design question of the day: My new bed linens are white-on-white. I will be introducing some burlaps/linens/ off-whites along with some ribbon edging to the mix. I couldn't find any bedskirt that I really loved at a price I was willing to pay, so I ended up with a real cheapy from SteinMart. I had the brilliant idea that I want to somehow embellish the bedskirt. I'm thinking maybe some sort of poufs or swags or something subtle using thrifted or garage sale crocheted doilies. Nothing too girly, but I do like the added texture. If I go the crocheted doily route, I could just add them as I found them without always removing the bedskirt, yes? Because who wants to wrestle with a mattress?

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Energy: Use it or Lose it.

-Roxie
146.5

Photo: eclecticrevisited

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Collinwood-Smythe House


The Collinwood-Smythe House is now legally mine. As soon as I uncramp my hand, I'll be able to feed myself. Closing went very smoothly yesterday. At Pebbles' closing, her realtor gave her and Slater a bottle of champagne and notecards with a picture of their new house on them. My realtor said "I sure hope they get my check deposited today. I don't want to have to come back over here". She continued to be unimpressive. But oh, well. It is done.

And as for the name - well, after watching the royal wedding, it seems everything and everyone is a something dash Smythe. And I have this vision of entertaining in a rather Edwardian fashion. Well, high tea as served by an Appalachian-American. I think the back garden dining table will regularly be set with the silver pieces I bought years ago when I was doing a lot of weddings and have been sitting in a closet at Reata South, tarnishing. It's time to use all the good stuff. No reason to "save it". That one area will be where I really "doily the place up" - and long-time readers may remember how much I love to set a table. My next step is to come up with a go-to menu that continues the theme. Cucumber sandwiches, anyone? Does anyone have a good crumpet recipe? Something easy, as I don't have a lot of time. There's silver to polish.

My "moving crew" consists of Pebbles and Slater. I offered to have it done. She declined. I offered to bring in other people. "I don't want to share" she said. Okay, Sweettart, have it your way. Slater, by the way, has the patience of a saint. Seriously, Pebbles is over-the-moon about this place. She and I are taking Friday afternoon off after I get the keys in order to do some last minute shopping. Actually, there are a couple of pieces at the local "antique" mall that I'd like her opinion on - a dining room table as I don't have one that will fit into the space. And next weekend? I am the third on her moving crew. Again, I offered to chip in on hiring it done as a housewarming gift. Nope, she just wants it to be us.

I am not on any sort of a time frame. I've got The Closet for another month, unfortunately for my wallet and the C-S House is less than two miles away, I think. I have no appliances to move - just a couch and a couple of chairs and a coffee table (bedroom furniture is going back to Dallas) along with about 20 boxes and ten bags, so it should be doable without exhausting anyone.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get dashed.

-Roxie
146

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Getting Closure

*


Did the final walk-thru yesterday and met the Seller. Turns out, she's moving to within 20 miles of where I grew up. How bizarre is that? Seems like a very nice woman. She spoke of buying the house after her divorce and used just about the same words I did to describe it.

Closing is at noon and I think I'm ready. I pick up my keys at noon on Friday. Pebbles is beside herself with excitement - I'm a little bit more subdued. I'm excited about living there but I'm not too stoked about actually moving, ya know? But that will be through soon enough. I've already taken advantage of today's Groupon to be able to score some BBQ for my moving crew. Oh, and the Grandbeast will be spending his first night at GiGi's on Saturday, as they are bringing him along and seem to think that we'll have things well enough in hand to actually be able to sleep there on Saturday night. Those crazy kids.

Pebbles went so far as to suggest I take the big cushion (nearly twin-bed sized) off The Barge (my sofa), put it in MalibuKen and go to the new house and stay there on Friday night. I think she's rounded the bend. I'm not sleeping on a cushion on the floor in an empty house. Silly goose.

Still processing the FL trip and have come at least one conclusion. During that week, I kept thinking to myself that there had to be a reason. What lesson was I supposed to learn? So far, there was at least one serious gift in that trip. Things that I needed to see. Cautionary tales, at is were. A glimpse into what could have been my future. And while it was definitely uncomfortable, at the end of the week, I got to leave it behind. I am fortunate and grateful and nearing closure.

The second gift was that I was away from home when the FOO explosion I'd been concerned about finally happened. People change at the rate of pain and from what I understand, this was pretty painful. I remain hopeful that some good/change can come from it. I am pretty sure my Mom is a lost cause, but I continue to hope for my sister and tell myself that everyone has their own path.

Still eating clean, albeit with too much sodium. Exercise hasn't been stellar, but I am feeling more normal.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Closure is an inside job.

-Roxie

*Glamour photo

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sports Night: One of the Two Best Shows Ever To Grace The Air Waves


I submerged myself in streaming Netlfix's SportsNight last night while packing. I adore this show. The writing just snaps. There are few things in life that I enjoy more than well-written dialog. I thrill at a well-turned phase. Sorkin is a wordsmith legend.

Work re-entry was as good as can be expected. I did manage to get to the gym yesterday, but my daily dose of HGTV was unpleasant. Turns out I don't like David somebody and his color show. I tune in to learn something beyond just how fabulous he thinks he is.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. I need coffee.

-Roxie
147

Monday, May 16, 2011

Detox


No, I'm not on some crazy-ass program where I'm drinking all sorts of nastiness. I am however, attempting to rid myself of the negativity that I find myself in. I had some expectations (all together now - expectations are just resentments under construction) about what this trip would be like. And aside from a few moments, mostly it wasn't what I expected or could have expected. I felt really manipulated and used and I need to shake it off. I will write a letter of "release" (that won't be sent) and I will set a boundary that won't let me get in that situation again. The interesting question is if those behaviors have always been there and I was unable to see them or if, like most "isms", they are progressive and I am better able to see a violation when it happens. At any rate, I am not going to torpedo a thirty-year relationship with a woman whose days could be numbered in the low four figures. And yea, I feel an insane amount of guilt about even having these feelings about someone in her position.

And speaking of detox, I am, however, course-correcting back to "induction-eating" for a few days (Hi Anne!). My friend pretty much lives on a diet of sweets and I did a lot of "stuffing" while I was away. My sugar-withdrawal headache yesterday was pretty impressive. My normal practice is to gently nudge myself back into my lane, but this past week, I've been swerving all over the road, so it's time to put in some safeguards. I am not so much interested in what the scale says, but I am feeling the effects eating in a way that is not optimal for me - I feel the inflammation and bloat and water-retention and that combination has a direct impact on my energy levels and how I feel mentally. If I get those things right, I have faith in me and my ability to return to my "normal".

Lots of things are happening on the house front. I've given it a new name, which I will reveal a bit later - and I do a walk-thru tomorrow and close on Wednesday. I think I get the keys on Friday, so I've got to get all the utilities switched over in my name. Lots to do this week. I spent most of the day yesterday packing (off and on) and watching Hot In Cleveland on streaming Netflix. I'm pretty much down to only having my day-to-day things left out and accessible. One whole side of my apartment is stacked in boxes four high. It feels like I'm a kid again, snaking through a maze of stuff. There's not much environmental serenity around here right now, but that is soon to change. Can't make a low-carb omelet without breaking some eggs!

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Accept the things (and people) that I cannot change, but don't give them Carte Blanche.

-Roxie
146.5

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Failure To Launch: The Second


I'm home and glad to be here. I'm still processing how this trip went down and what the lessons are that I am supposed to learn from it. I'm trying to decide if I'm the one who has changed or if it was her. I do know that my thoughts are still swirling about and that I will need some space and some peace and perhaps the reason this all went down as it did might become clearer.


My part in this or Mistake #1? I let my desire to use airline points cloud my judgment. I stayed for too long and there was not one minute of it that was relaxing.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Do not do for others what they can do for themselves.

Shuttle launch is scheduled for Monday. Sad to have missed that.

-Roxie

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Failure to Launch?


If the fates are with me, I'll be on the Space Coast in time to see the last launch. This just makes me so excited. It's not something that I would have made the trip especially to see, but to have it happening and viewable from our balcony (I think) will be all kinds of awesome. That is, if I'm reading the maps right. Anyway, if at all possible, I'm going to make a special effort to view the last in history. What an opportunity! This is shaping up to be a great trip.

Pebbles and Slater closed on their house yesterday and came to town to take me to an early Mom's-Day/celebratory dinner. We went here and it was spectacular! Slater said it was the best meal he'd ever had. It was just so nice to see them so happy (and scared!). After all the trouble they've had, the said their closing was smooth as silk. It will still be three weeks until they get their keys to move in. Sellers just had a baby this week.

Well, I've got to get going. Florida awaits.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Launch your life.

-Roxie

Friday, May 6, 2011

Shiny Happy People


Everyone behaved themselves and my aunt was very pleased to have nearly 30 of us show up. It was a nice evening. The food, usually stellar, however, was not good. It was so salty, it was nearly inedible. And while no desserts are served at this joint, one of our crew brought cake. So much for the clean eating, I had a piece of cake. Oh, well. Compared to the days I've been having, one piece of cake is a dramatic improvement.

I am dragging my behind yet again today. I had a late, late night at work on Wednesday and was looking forward to catching up a bit last night, but I tossed and turned for the majority of the night. Not the way I wanted to go into this travel week, but what can you do?

Being tired means that clean eating will be a challenge. Being Friday means the goodies will be out in the office in full force. Hmm, today's plan will be to wear a pair of very comfy shoes - maybe my Turkey shoes - and if the urge to snack comes over me, I'll just head outside for a quick stroll around the building. I'll use that for an energy boost, rather than the bakery cart.

I normally go to lunch with a coworker on Friday, but her son is home from college. Perhaps they will resume their normal Friday schedule - which means I can get in a workout. I know that exercise may be limited in FL. My friend's health prevents her from much movement and I try to stick pretty close to her, but I'll work out something.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Make a plan.

-Roxie

Thursday, May 5, 2011

FOO Fighters


Once more into the breach! No, not really, although my sister, upon hearing that I was taking my Mom into the war zone with the FOOs (family of origin) to attend her sister's 83rd celebration, her response: GO WITH GOD.

I have pretty much stayed out of the family feud. It doesn't involve me and I'm not taking sides. My aunt called me yesterday to invite me personally to this shindig, so I will go and I will take my mother. The good news is that it is at a restaurant, so there is a lesser likelyhood of drama. I have one particular cousin who, not to be taking her inventory, is an untreated something who has been known to bring the DRAMA anytime, anywhere. I've heard it whispered through the family that I may be sporting a bull's eye as I've made myself pretty scarce these days. I'm completely comfortable with my level of contact, so I'm not worried about this. I'm there to pay my respects to my aunt and eat a little BBQ chicken.

And speaking of eating, today has been clean so far. My assistant and I had a pinky-swear ceremony this morning while looking over the assortment of donuts in the office. We swore to each other - in the presence of a chocolate glazed and a blueberry cake donut (our personal favorites, respectively) that today will bring no baked goods across our lips. So far, so good. Plus, I did make it to the gym today. Woo and Hoo! I'll take progress wherever I can find it.

Pebbles and Slater close on their house tomorrow, but don't get their keys for another three weeks. Sellers just had a baby yesterday, I think. My kiddos are coming over to take me to an early Mother's Day dinner on Friday night before we all leave town (in different directions) on Saturday morning.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Eat Clean.

-Roxie

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Taking Steps


For the first month or so, I guess I was operating on adrenaline - well, maybe not adrenaline, as there wasn't any end-of-relationship drama. No self-righteous indignation to fuel action. None of that - but there was something that I was motoring on (ETA: duh, new house purchase, Roxie) and now it's gone (done) and grief has taken it's place. Or one of the stages of grief - I find I'm cycling through them pretty quickly. And I suppose it's to be expected. So now I am trusting myself to feel the grief. And I guess trusting myself is the key.

Trust versus fear, yet again. I'm trusting myself enough to let myself feel the feelings. As Pema Chodron says "to lean into what hurts". There is a fear that I'll "never recover", but that's not likely. I'll not end up being Miss Havisham - it's just not going to happen. But I have to trust myself enough to let myself fully feel these feelings and have enough faith in myself to know that I will walk through the other side. It's kind of like the fear of re-gaining the weight - like there will be some point where I feel like I've stepped off, never to regain this toehold - which is false. Oh, I may gain some, but I can't unlearn all that I've learned. I might slip from time to time (and now is one of those times), but I have the faith that my selfcare will kick in and I will return to normal - return to me - the me that takes good care of herself by eating healthfully and wants exercise on a daily basis. Right now, I just don't seem to have the energy to get exercise and to avoid baked goods. And I'm not forcing it. It will come back. This is not the slippery slope. We've all heard of intuitive eating? Well, I'm practicing intuitive feelings. I'm having these feelings, feeling them and know that when I've processed this need, that I'll be out the other side.

Combine this with the fourth step work that I'm doing, and well, it's pretty heavy up in here. But I've been doing this kind of work on my own for some time now, so the act of putting things on one side of the ledger or another isn't new for me. But just going through the process has been helpful and my trust advisor has been awesome. Anytime I can take something that causes me pain (usually it's some fear that I'm regarding as truth) and expose it to the light, it becomes easier to deal with.

One of the things that I've discovered recently is my reluctance to make decisions. This came to light in shopping for things for the house. I'd find things I liked, but I'd just leave them be. Now part of is in monetary and part of it is "stuff" related and I've known about that. But there is a part of it that feels that I somehow need "permission" or more likely, some sort of validation of my decision from an external source. So here comes another pain-point in the relationship loss area - and another that has very little to do with him personally. This is about my need for a backstop because I have trouble making decisions solo.

It has been helpful for me to separate out these kinds of things - from missing things specific to Bick and missing things that are generic. Don't know if that makes any sense, but it helps put things into perspective if I am only grieving the things, the losses, that are real.

This isn't meant to be a downer post. I'm not depressed. I don't feel defeated or worthless or any other high-drama thing. I'm just documenting a process that I'm going through as a point of reference, a guide for myself when I have to go through some sort of grieving process again. And I will. Life is not all mountain-top experiences, but they are all learning opportunities. I'm trying to go through this one with my eyes wide open.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. There's no way get through it but to go through it.

-Roxie
142

Sunday, May 1, 2011

May Day


This house deal has me pretty much "all dressed up with no place to go". I am anxious to get in and start moving things around. I've got a bazillion ideas about how I want to use things, to repurpose this, that or the other. My old, cheapass non-vintage harvest table is going to be painted some fabulous color - I'm thinking something in either the orange or turquoise family - and get a hole drilled (I'm going to have to figure out some supports for that) for a fabulous umbrella and it will become my outdoor dining table. I'm going to tape and stain my backyard parking pad (which will one day host a pergola, I think) to look like tile.

I've been digging deep into the internet, getting all these ideas and I can't do a thing with them right now. I was doing a bit of shopping, but I've put a stop to that. After adding the two "Three's Company" chairs, I really don't have any more room! My trunk is full of the new bathroom towels, rug and shower curtain, in addition to the new bedding.

So to keep my creative mind both occupied and my wallet closed, I play "What could I do with what I find on Craigslist?" - in the FURNITURE section, people. Get your minds out of the gutter!

In the meantime, I will leave you with this link to a wonderful blog A Bowl Full of Lemons. Today she's doing a virtual parade of homes and they are quite lovely. I cannot wait to get into mine.


Pictured here is my lovely little dining room. What I hope to do here? Replace the ceiling fan with a lighting fixture that I've augmented. There is a wooden bead chandelier in the PB catalog, I think, that is spectacular. But at 1,200, I won't be buying it anytime soon. I've seen some of what other creative types have done and I think there are some great options out there. I'm thinking for 50 bucks and some ingenuity, I can create a real signature piece for my gem of a dining room. I'm also thinking oak pedestal table with two "airy" chairs and then two upholstered pieces that can be pulled in from the living room when needed. A round rug of some sort - I'll probably do a painted floor cloth to start until I find something really awesome - like a wool penny rug. The possibilities are nearly endless.

Weather is turning off weird today, so I don't know that the chicken tour will still happen. I'm about ready to hit the gym a bit this morning before beginning the day's activities.

Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Get Inspired.

-Roxie
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