Saturday, March 17, 2012

It's Like Learning To Ride A Bike

Not actually Inez, but it's her twin sister

I'm off on my first group ride this morning.  And I'm nervous.  Talia will be with me and this is a no-drop ride, but even that adds pressure-to-perform.  I mean, I do want to get better, to know more and the only way to do that is to move out of isolation.  And this is the whole reason I bought Inez in the first place is so I would have opportunities to ride with more people.  I was getting very tired of riding solo.  So, today is the day.

I don't know why this makes me so nervous - maybe a throwback to gym class or something.  There is just so much that I don't know and that not knowing makes me really anxious.  I'm really moving into self-doubt here - which is not my usual place when taking on a new activity.  Hmmm.  This is not like a group exercise class where I can easily adjust my pace/effort to satisfy my own need "not to hate every f*n second" of whatever I am doing.  And to quote, well, me "I'm not getting a grade or paid for this, so I'll do it exactly as it pleases me" just doesn't seem to fit riding a bike when everyone will actually see how good/fast/whatever I am.  I just need to remember to be true to myself and my abilities.  I do not have to prove anything to anyone.  I am worthy and I AM a cyclist if I choose to call myself one.

I'm heading out for Nashville in the morning, so I may be scarce or I may camp all over the internets - just depends on how the conference goes.  It is interesting that they offer yoga classes every morning.  I've never been to a conference that did that - I've signed up for that and am looking forward to it.  Just found out this a.m. that two of my favorite cross-state colleagues will not be attending - for a very scary reason - one was just diagnosed and began treatment for youterin big C.  Downer news, for sure.

I've ordered printed invitations for the Garden Party, so now I need to put my back where my money is.  I've backed myself into a corner here - which is how I pretty much work the best - under a bit of pressure - so now I've got a focus for getting my yard work done - in little increments of time - 15 minutes of pruning here, 30 minutes of weeding there - and by end-of-Aprilish, all will be ready to go.  Oh, and the guest list has doubled - in for a penny, in a for a pound - the yard, etc will need to be as clean and pretty for 20 as it would for 40.  All I need is some more finger sandwiches.  Might as well go big or stay home!

Take good care of yourself.  Be kind to others.  Stretch and stretch some more.

-Roxie
145.5

4 comments:

  1. I've been so scared to try a group ride myself. I'm so curious to see how it all turned out. Gook luck! Happy riding!

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  2. The only group riding I have done is on organized week-long rides. I've never done the Club rides so I look forward to hearing your report.

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  3. I hope you enjoyed the ride. I've done some group rides and they can be fun as long as that's what you want out of them. Since I don't have a road bike, I always bring up the tail end. Makes no never mind to me. I just like riding. That said, I have been thinking of getting a roadie :)

    Have a great trip, too. At least you'll have yoga!

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  4. Sounds like fun and scary too. Good luck.

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We'll try this for a while.