Saturday, July 14, 2012

Dueling Banjos



Here's the rest of the story. 


I said "Well, gee thanks, Roy" and left it at that.  My coffee arrived and I drank it and continued the conversation with all of the table.   Kendra, of course, knew what had happened and she said something to him - it wasn't direct enough for me to remember.

When the waiter returned to check on us, I asked for a quarter of the ticket and got out my credit card.   I explained that I had to get home to pack for tonight (and seriously, I had set an alarm on MY phone prior to  my arrival  to tell Cinderella that she needed to leave the ball) so this only cut my evening short by about 15 minutes anyway.  When the waiter returned with the check, Roy intercepted it.  I then took out a twenty and slipped it beside my plate.  Roy grabbed the twenty and stuffed it in my purse - and he said something about "making me mad and that he was paying for dinner".  I said, "Thank you, Roy, that is very kind of you". I said my goodbyes to all, even giving Roy a nice-to-meet you and left.  

My initial response of Gee thanks was out of my mouth before I knew it, and probably with some sarcasm.  One banjo in my head was screaming that it wanted to go all Julia Sugarbaker on his Ray Don Ass, but I didn't.  Another banjo wanted to flee immediately as somehow I allowed his comment to make me feel shame.  The third banjo said that what he said was his karma and how I responded was mine.  So overall, I was okay with how I handled it at the time.

The dueling banjos in my head were really trying to get worked up over this - but I couldn't really must enough desire for drama to get that fire started.  Yes, I was stung, but I just came home mowed the lawn and packed my bags for Peaster and looked forward to the great weekend I was getting ready to embark upon.  And I always ask myself the question "Would I want to be them?"  In this case, no - I'd much rather have my weekend to look forward to than his/theirs.  And my third banjo kept telling me that what other people think of me is none of my business and why in the world would I let someone I'd just met opinion of me give me one minutes pause.  Taking the personal out of it - I really was amazed that that kind of behavior exists in anyone over 15 years old and it says a lot more about him than it does me.

I did get a couple of texts from Kendra and Valerie - to which I responded a couple of hours later that Roy just calls em as he sees em and left it at that.  In a perfect world, his actions wouldn't have even pinged me, so I've got some more work in being able to immediately and completely shrug off situations like this.

So that's the rest of the story.



14 comments:

  1. You did well. It's so not a perfect world and why anyone would text that sort of adolescent stuff is beyond me.

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  2. You handled that well. Bet your friends are proud of you. And I hope Roy grows up someday.

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  3. I agree, you would handled it perfectly. Better than I would have. I still have trouble shrugging things off. Love the dueling banjo thing. I certainly hope Kendra moves on to find a real man.

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  4. What I love most about how you responded is that, in the end, you probably feel great about it. You didn't stoop. Good on ya!

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  5. Well played. You know I think you are absolutely the bomb, the neatest thing since sliced bread.

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  6. "He calls em like he sees them", but he certainly doesn't see things very clearly. Move on Kendra... Hope you had a great weekend, Roxie.

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  7. Oh I LOVE the Designing Women reference!! Julia Sugarbaker is my idol. I have all season on DVD.

    Hells yes, let him buy dinner. Don't give it a second thought. It's over, I know you have moved on. It really is non of your business. Another thing that I tell myself is, I am not that important to even ping the other person's radar. He probably just felt stupid cause you saw the text.

    Have a good day....I am sure you are :)

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  8. I think you handled this situation brilliantly. Who wouldn't have given what he said some thought? It's the manner in which you handled it that says a lot about who you are as a person, and that person is one that I'd be honored to hang out with. Any time. Anywhere.

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  9. You made Roy aware of how poorly he judged the situation AND got a free dinner. I think you nailed it!

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  10. I'm pretty sure NObody can have a "shrug" as the immediate response, but getting to the shrug eventually is all that matters. You are the best at knowing "not your business" is the way to go. In fact YOU are the one who taught me that!! Roy is a tool and everyone over the age if 15 knows to not judge that quickly, because if he only really knew you, he'd know you're ANYTHING but a stiff. duh.

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  11. Well done my friend! :0) Proud of you for letting him own his crap. That is so true... it is non of our business what other people think of us. That's a hard pill for me to take and I have to work on that everyday!

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We'll try this for a while.