Friday, July 20, 2012
What Happens Next: The Epilogue
Within two minutes of meeting Roy, the red flags were flying. So I suspect his dislike of me was mutual just as quickly. We had a difference of opinion over Valerie's proposed business venture. She was lamenting how hard it was to complete her business plan that she needed to secure financing to open a new business venture. "All these numbers". His response? "You don't need a business plan. You are putting up your house - you can borrow the money without doing all that."
My response was "well, maybe you don't need it to borrow the money, but it can certainly help serve as a roadmap to help you determine what you need to do to be successful - what milestones you need to hit".
He went on to defend his position and did some "suit wearing MBA" bashing". (Hi, I'm Roxie, MBA, Class of '92).
Valerie was far more pleased with his response than mine because she didn't want to do the business plan. And my thought, unsaid, was "It's pretty easy for him to sit here and tell you what you want to hear. It's not his house being put up on a flyer". I do realize that a large part of my reaction to this is me projecting MY fears on her, so I kept quiet because it's not my house, either.
And as for the "texting while under the influence" thing? Drunk is no longer an acceptable excuse for anything with me - being drunk and obnoxious is just being drunk and obnoxious. That is a hard stop these days. I have lost all tolerance for such.
So yea, I believe Roy made the grand gesture, not for my benefit, but for someone else's. I haven't exactly figured out if it's Kendra's or Valerie's. Who it is is none of my business, but I haven't said a word about receiving the flowers to either of them. To be honest, honest, honest - I am not even sure that he sent them. The wording on the card sounded very Kendra-like, so I'm thinking she might have done the heavy-lifting on this one. Roy didn't know my last name or where I worked, so getting the flowers to me required some collusion from one of the two of them.
**Actually, I think my gut instinct is pretty well on. In the past, it became a problem when I ignored or made excuses for what my gut was telling me. With Our Boy Roy, my needle was buried.
I do believe what Lee said about "when people show you who they are, believe them". So I am going with that. Where I do believe that my progress, healthier self-esteem, is showing is in my decision to let these people (namely Kendra and Valerie) be who they are. They are people I used to know, who I now enjoy spending time with on occasion. Doesn't mean that either one of them has to fall into BFF category. They are companions, not hostages. Every triad will eventually become a couplet and a single. I'm the odd woman out here, and that's completely okay. It is what it is. I don't need to try to make my relationship with Valerie or Kendra or anyone something that it is not. That, for me, is progress.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. When people show you who they are, believe them. (because it bears repeating).