Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Pinched

I can be a ring-tailed bitch.  In fact, I was such a beast for years.  What I've come to learn, only within the last few months, is at my core,  I do not deal with frustration very well.  Not well at all, as a matter of fact.  When faced with frustration, I go into "fight, flight, or freeze" mode.  Or some rapid deployment of all three strategies - it's almost like an out-of-body experience.  Mostly, I freeze, then say something bitchy and then I flee.  Or flounce.  Or some other equally unproductive strategy.

But the awareness that it is my ability/inability/unwillingness to sit the the uncomfortableness of frustration has been very helpful.  It allows me to tell myself, sometimes outloud - "Oh, this is frustration I'm dealing with" and if I repeat it enough, I can sometimes, mostly, bring myself back into the present and deal with the situation appropriately.

Yesterday, I had what Mr. Sponsor Pants (google him up - today's entry is profound) calls a "pinched attitude".  I didn't wake up with it, in fact, I was/am still extremely grateful and humbled by the whole "burning down the house" situation.  The attitude developed when during the course of the day, everything (or so it seemed) didn't go right.  I could go into the laundry list of stuff, but really, why give it the time and energy?  So yesterday, I was given the wonderful opportunity to practice staying in the here and now and feeling and dealing with frustration appropriately.  And to put these frustrations in their proper perspective.  I am grateful for the grace AND the opportunity.  And for the fact that I behaved like an adult.  No flouncing.

What strategies do you employ to bring yourself "off the ledge"?


I get three gold stars for yesterday.  I went to the gym, spent time on the elliptical.  I ate well.  Still no Diet Coke.




Take good care of yourself.  Be kind to others. Don't get pinched.

-Roxie







5 comments:

  1. ahhh Im not too much help as Im just now learning to sit and BE and FEEL the uncomfy of the situation...but Im here with you.

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  2. Remove myself from the situation.....that would be ideal but not always realistic....um...take a deep breath....I notice i get overly polite...smile a fake smile....probably a feral looking smile....i can feel it spread across my face when things get uncomfortable......unfortunately i have one of those faces that read like a book.......whatever i'm feeling / thinking its right there to see on my face......wish i had a better poker face....

    The best thing.....i guess you would call it 'flight' is just to walk away ...compose myself and come at it again..maybe from a new angle......Hang in there Roxie! Hugs! deb

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    1. Deb, in my family, we call that smile a Sheldon Cooper smile ;-)

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  3. Check out Pema Chodron's books. Great down to earth writing about life and getting one's s#*#t together..or not when life doesn't go as we had hoped. This lady is a treasure. I found her when I turned 50...she's the real deal..no fluff.

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    Replies
    1. Katie,

      I adore Pema Chodron. "Getting Unstuck" is a personal favorite. She does write in such a real, understandable way. Treasure, indeed.

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We'll try this for a while.