Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Don't Don't Don't You Forget About Me

I'm in a really sweet spot right now.  Things are going well.  I'm practicing good self-care and I am living more slowly in my life.  A million and three things to be grateful for (and my "Great Things" jar is filling up).  I'm living a full and fulfilling life.

And I will forget all of it so very quickly.  I don't know why that happens - well, all or nothing thinking is probably the culprit, I suppose.  The situation is much better than it used to be.  I have learned to change my focus, maybe not immediately, but I can (mostly) pay attention to the good stuff, while acknowledging some negative feelings about other things.  I can lead a happy, peaceful, serene life and still be sad about this or that.  In the past, all I could see was the one thing to be sad about.

So I want to remember that this, too, shall pass - this land of kittens and rainbows and unicorns with lilac-scented farts - and things might become a bit murkier and that, too, shall pass.  It's called life.  I somehow have this notion that if I do the work, then I can somehow prevent life from happening.  More of my performance-based thinking, I suppose.

I'm trying to manage my expectations about the upcoming trip.  A few of you may remember the last one and I certainly don't want a repeat of that.  I have given myself permission to pull the rip cord of escape - not termination of the relationship - if things get bad.  The logistics of this trip are far different from the last but still, managing expectations to get myself in the right headspace is important.  There will be a ton of things that I cannot control (every single thing in the universe except my reactions) and if I go into this with an attitude of acceptance, rather than expectation or entitlement, then Bob's my uncle.

I am trying to do some advance planning re:  food on this trip.  As I said before, my friend lives on (grazes continuously, no real "meals") the kind of foods that are triggery for me.  This is my problem, not hers.  And I need to develop some sort of plan to deal with this - from a logistics standpoint, if nothing else.  I would like to avoid coming home from a week's vacation feeling bloaty, swollen, and down mentally just from what I've eaten.  This one will require some doing.  One thing that I can do is get my exercise in first thing in the morning.  I will have time - she sleeps late so I can figure out something to do that will keep me busy and bolster my chances of making better choices.

Obviously, this has turned into a self-pep talk, but a lot of success in this deal comes down to hitting the easy button.  Making the decisions when things are easy and putting a little planning in place to make the path better paved.

I did two-a-days yesterday.  Spin class in the a.m. and a wonderful yoga class at lunch.  During sick week last week, I did have two Diet Cokes.  They were the only thing that sounded good, and so I drank them, as I desperately needed the liquids, but I am back on the beam.  I'm taking a break for the 6am class today to do some trip prep (why the hell am I writing this instead of ironing? - well, because it's ironing).  So I am done.

Take good care of yourself.  Be kind to others.  Manage your expectations and your meals when entering dangerous territory.



  1. What a great post, Roxie. I hope your reflections and subsequent planning clear a smooth path along which you can travel while you're traveling. The thing that jumps out most from your post for me is the whole expectation matter how hard we try to keep them in check, they can begin to erode our resolve or intentions when the UNexpectations happen. I hope the trip is GOOD.

  2. The older I get, the fewer expectations I have. In dealing with most things - and people - it's really easier that way.

  3. Unicorns! Glitter! Ahhhh....*insert snorting sort of laugh here*

    You know what? It's all good! Every sparkly thing, every wart! It's all good in the overall scheme of life.

    I think putting a food plan in place while you're ensconced in the serenity of home is a marvelous idea. Procure your own food while you're there. It is not rude to keep to a healthy eating plan while visiting someone else's home. No excuses or apologies necessary to the hostess, because your health ranks higher than hurt feelings. Yes indeed, it does.

  4. Performance-based thinking jumped out at me - how many times have I thought that if I just did XX, then YY would automatically happen??? (haha, see my many diets for one example)

    I hope you have a wonderful trip.

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  6. Who the hell is Labor Law.....that cracked me up. Longer posts, please?? hehe

    Loved this post. Great self pep talk. I hope that your trip is wonderful and that your low expectations prove surpassed!


We'll try this for a while.