Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Don't Don't Don't You Forget About Me
And I will forget all of it so very quickly. I don't know why that happens - well, all or nothing thinking is probably the culprit, I suppose. The situation is much better than it used to be. I have learned to change my focus, maybe not immediately, but I can (mostly) pay attention to the good stuff, while acknowledging some negative feelings about other things. I can lead a happy, peaceful, serene life and still be sad about this or that. In the past, all I could see was the one thing to be sad about.
So I want to remember that this, too, shall pass - this land of kittens and rainbows and unicorns with lilac-scented farts - and things might become a bit murkier and that, too, shall pass. It's called life. I somehow have this notion that if I do the work, then I can somehow prevent life from happening. More of my performance-based thinking, I suppose.
I'm trying to manage my expectations about the upcoming trip. A few of you may remember the last one and I certainly don't want a repeat of that. I have given myself permission to pull the rip cord of escape - not termination of the relationship - if things get bad. The logistics of this trip are far different from the last but still, managing expectations to get myself in the right headspace is important. There will be a ton of things that I cannot control (every single thing in the universe except my reactions) and if I go into this with an attitude of acceptance, rather than expectation or entitlement, then Bob's my uncle.
I am trying to do some advance planning re: food on this trip. As I said before, my friend lives on (grazes continuously, no real "meals") the kind of foods that are triggery for me. This is my problem, not hers. And I need to develop some sort of plan to deal with this - from a logistics standpoint, if nothing else. I would like to avoid coming home from a week's vacation feeling bloaty, swollen, and down mentally just from what I've eaten. This one will require some doing. One thing that I can do is get my exercise in first thing in the morning. I will have time - she sleeps late so I can figure out something to do that will keep me busy and bolster my chances of making better choices.
Obviously, this has turned into a self-pep talk, but a lot of success in this deal comes down to hitting the easy button. Making the decisions when things are easy and putting a little planning in place to make the path better paved.
I did two-a-days yesterday. Spin class in the a.m. and a wonderful yoga class at lunch. During sick week last week, I did have two Diet Cokes. They were the only thing that sounded good, and so I drank them, as I desperately needed the liquids, but I am back on the beam. I'm taking a break for the 6am class today to do some trip prep (why the hell am I writing this instead of ironing? - well, because it's ironing). So I am done.
Take good care of yourself. Be kind to others. Manage your expectations and your meals when entering dangerous territory.